[Solved] Domestic Violence - Study and stats

You make your stand by parenting your children well. Buffering them from the harm the ex seems intent on inflicting.

Give your children morals, decency and love.

Forget exposing anyone, this will happen organically in the end.

There are injustices and there is incompetence. Always has been, always will be.

I have to agree with this one. I know it doesn’t help much in the right now if you are being kept apart from your kids, but over the long term, dads being out there in the public eye with their kids being good parents and setting an example I think is the best chance we’ve got of changing perceptions. Sometimes you don’t have to win, just stay cool and let the other side shoot themselves in the foot.

Agree with both the above replies. Focus on trying to be a parent rather than trying to hold the mother accountable. She will do that herself eventually.

I agree with the others about the parenting side of things and doing the best for the children.

However, with what i have seen in the 8yrs i've been going through it, is that at no point when the false allegations are proven false does anythign happen to the person making these false claims...
i got told nothing can be done and to put it behind me for the sake of the child...."hang on a min...isn't lying in court purgery" i asked the judge and CAFCASS worker....i was told it's not criminal court so not really anything that can be done!

you only have to look at what Fathers4Justice have been doing....no mention of them in the media these days...certainly not on the news... they're still protesting and trying to get the plight of non-resident parents equal justice in contact disputes.

While the person making false claims is automatically believed nothing will change!

While the family courts remain secret things will never change!

While cafcass fail our children nothing will change!

Naming and shaming will only bring the wrath of the courts down on you for breaking their orders....Fathers4Justice tried naming and shaming contact deniers and those pages got closed down!

Thanks everyone. It seems the media is awash with cases of sexual violence, coercion and discrimination. And rightly so, if anyone faces such an ordeal, they should be held accountable.

But if someone slings enough mud, it will eventually stick, and it seems women's aid and their friends are training and funding gorilla warriors who advise women to go to any lengths, no matter what harm it causes.

How can a father, especially one who has daughters, ever hold his head high if he is not allowed to clear his name?

How many of you have heard horror stories, and not believed them, only to find yourself in the midst of your own nightmare, and to realise that fact in actually worse than fiction?

Its fucked up and womens aid and those who encourage such fragrant violations of human rights need to be held accountable. But men as to scared to take on their power. Its discrimination and we all run around with our heads down for fear of being attacked.

I wonder how many members have been accused of foul acts, that were not proven ?

In my case, the accusations were made that I abused my ex and put my daughter in hospital. But where the event was to have occured, there was video evidence proving that everything she said was lies.

So, even with such damning evidence, she feels free to up the ante and make even more serious allegations, because she knows that if she gets away having lied with huge evidence against her, there is no way she can lose if she makes historic claims that cannot be disproved?

I really want to take this battle on, not for me, but for the hundreds of thousands of guys who have yet to be accused.

This is causing wholesale destruction of lives, men are killing themselves, and everyone says just be happy ?

Unfortunately, the only way the law allows any redress is to bring a libel action, but unless she has plenty of money, you are going to be seriously out of pocket to try, and if she doesn't have money, then she has little to lose by holding out rather than apologising early on.

Lost worlds, I agree with everything you said. I don’t think there is a quick solution.

Women’s aid is something that has been brewing for at least a couple of decades, until it became the self serving abhoration that it is today.

I had the same thing happen to me. Ex went to a women’s refuge when the court process got underway to make herself look like a victim of domestic violence. Court saw through it.

Had they not, women’s aid would have been complicit in my son growing up with a diminished father, with all the emotional damage that would have caused him, and just the sheer loss of a little boy loosing access to a great father. Only a sick society would do that.

I believe the reason women’s aid does it is so they can justify their funding. The more victims of domestic violence, the more government grants they get. They have absolutely no incentive on putting an end to domestic violence, because if that happened, they’d loose their jobs.

Women’s aid rely on an innate human instinct that women need to be protected at all cost. It makes evolutionary sense. Men on the other hand are discardable, and when you think about it, that makes evolutionary sense too. For the species to go on, you need women alive a lot longer than men.

My point being, that I believe there are a lot of lessons to be learned about how women’s aid became what it is today, but they operate in a unique context that goes deep down to a trait of the human psyque that has evolved over millions of years, the need to protect women so that they can bear offspring .

I looked up at data from the charity commission, and when you add up all the different charities that use the women’s aid name, I estimate they make anywhere between 50 to 80 million quid a year in “charitable donations”. A big part of that is lotto funding and government grants.

So what do you do about it ? If you can find a way of slashing their funding, that would be a step forward. Failing that, join them. Learn from them.

I recon the woman that was in court with my ex was someone from a woman aid charity. Iv been baffled now on how my case has even got as far as to produce witness statements. I mean she has already admitted that 70% of her ex parte statement was fabricated or based on lies and fully admitted I am no threat of any harm to her or the child and iv never shown any violence towards her or the child ever.

Now Iv also been baffled on why the court hasn't sent any paperwork regarding what was directed at the first hearing and therefore the file of statements and witness statements date is not confirmed in writing. Been 3 weeks now since the hearing.

Iv done some research and its looking like she is using clares law, this would explain the delay in the deadline dates as it take 35 days for the police to obtain the information and a requires a mag court to disclose. With whats gone one with 3 arrests and released with NFA and the court excepting already that she is in no risk of violence from me and two other allegations I have proof is fabricated ,her case is very weak indeed.

Now iv noticed she has put up cctv all round her house and blanked out a couple windows, I am told screens are only used in courts in exterme cases and i wasn't allowed to leave the court till they had fully left. I can imagine this is all on the advice of this woman.

Too many woman cry wolf and thats the problem, I understand theres woman out there that need help but there should be a law that protects Dads from allegations to prevent Dads from seeing there children. If there was then the courts wouldnt be as full as they there,

Women want equal rights but sadly when it comes to DV it is all very one sided with the courts and the police and these woman groups do push for what ever they can
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For my ex to use my past against me will be very low of her as like she has said in court Iv never given her any reason to make her feel at risk from me at all and thats over 9 years of knowing her. The only act of violence she saw was when i was protecting her and my daughter from a group of 7 men that had been given her [censored] for years until i took them all on and all [censored] broke loose. I ended up black and blue as some had metal poles even though I managed to take a few out and the rest ran away the police arrested the guys with the poles not me. Funny enough she got moved 4 weeks later. My reputation help her there didnt it and now to use my past against me just because the boy still wants to see me is wrong more so as iv never even raised my voice to her.

But while she under the spell of this woman group I guess she will welcome anything to obtain her goal. .

I think one of the big issues is resources. Many women's aid workers are volunteers who have suffered abuse, and who by proxy, attack their abusers by vindictive advice to the people they assist.

And in many cases, women are victims. Men are physically stronger and more intimidating for the most part, and women have suffered generations of abuse within employment and civil settings. I know a woman who was married for 40 years. Her husband got up in the middle of coronation street and tried to murder her. Literally.

24 hours later he is walking the streets where they lived, and she is in fear, so I understand how hard it must be. However there seems to be a huge fear on the parts of men, and mens advicasey groups when it comes to tackling abuse of the system by women's groups. Most of the time the allegations are so serious that the men involved just want them to go away, the sooner the better.

Has anyone ever been assisted by any of the mens groups in fighting false allegations or do any of the members have experience or stats?

It's far to easy for men to lie down and hopoe it goes away but I for one am not prepared to let that happen.

There is not a chance I am letting this go, and would love to know more solid statistics?

One problem is that women who make false claims make it much worse for those who are genuinely abused. However, to me, the biggest problem is that there seems to be no consequence to women making false claims - the most obvious examples of this is the recent collapse of a number of rape claims. They collapsed because there was clear evidence that came to light that the women had not told the truth when making the allegations (coupled with the CPS only disclosing this evidence very late on). And yet, nothing has been done as far as I am aware, against the women (and it will cost us as taxpayers considerable sums in compensation to the alleged attackers). While a lot of abuse and rape cases are down to one party's word against the other, where there is clear evidence that one party has lied, then the courts should absolutely prosecute that party for perjury or wasting police time. That way, hopefully, cases would only be brought where the offence has genuinely occurred.