[Solved] Domestic violence, dad has removed children.

Hi guys. I was wondering if any of you have experience with domestic abuse with the woman as the abuser.

This is going to sound mental.

I am a woman. I was friends with another woman. I had known her family for a while but not her personally until she made me an offer with an arrangement over our horses that benefitted us both.

She also started telling me things about her ex and father of her three children. Things like he hit her he forced her to get pregnant. She told me he had a pregnancy fetish and is a feeder and forced her to be overweight (Altho 8 months on she's bigger than ever?).

I started noticing things she said didn't add up and was getting a bit weary. She began regurgitating information. My ex actually is controlling and mentally abusive and would do things like pretend I'd poisoned out daughter. If she found out about something someone else's ex had done a couple of days later her ex had done it. This was one of those. She rang me up crying begging me to have her youngest child while she worked. I didn't want to as I knew she was lying about something and didn't trust her.

She cried and begged and even paid me. She said her ex refused to have the youngest and would only fetch the eldest two.

I went over. The house was a state. [censored]. I had to clean the kitchen entirely before I could relax in that house. There was nothing edible. And shortly after she left her ex showed up.

He was perfectly nice and polite. We spent about four hours talking. I got on with him immediately. He's very open l. He never said anything bad about her but told me to be careful and that there would be a reason she wanted me involved. It's so bizarre how she forced me to meet him like that (she knew he was coming back to her house).

Anyway over the following weeks his side seemed to add up more. And he's shown me a lot of evidence. To the point that I no longer require evidence from him (he still has it but I'd believe him without).

He and his children have basically lived through 6/7 years of [censored]. She was physically, mentally and financially abusive. She uses the children as threats constantly. She isolated him. She even starved him by covering his food in bleach. He is a big guy and he looked anorexic at one point. He's shown me pictures of the injuries she's inflicted on him. He's shown me alsorts where she's kicking off and scaring the kids. There is loads of evidence of this. His supervisor at work has tons she referred him to various services. But as soon as it gets to I volvi g the police they seem to have this attitude that he's some deadbeat thug. He really isn't. At one point a social worker rang him telling him to get a job. He was working 80 hours a week. They all believe this story she spins. His faith in the system is absolutely none existent. He says he won't go to the police about the violence etc.

He won't hit her back. I believe him 100%.It also turns out I have very close friends who know him very well who've verified that he is generally very soft and have commented that his previous partner didn't treat him too great either. Although nothing like this.

The relationship ended when she walked in and announced she didn't love him and told him to leave.

I moved my horses and cut all personal contact with her. I have been supporting him with this and since he met me he has been gradually stopping her from controlling him. He's never done this before but her behaviour has become increasingly unstable.

She realised he was getting advice from someone when he started telling her no or telling her to stop lying about things like lying about there being no social services office locally (there's one five minutes from her house she knows it).

She has done things like going through his bed and demanding to know who's hair is in there (seriously. I've got messages of her ranting about it). On this particularly week he threw her out of his house for the first time because she was screaming and swearing in front of the kids and he was trying to do them tea.

Since then shes just gone mental. She's had people following us round. She's made death threats towards me and my own children. She's made false reports to social services about me (however I already have a social worker due to personal problems and I have been entirely open with her. She will not get anywhere doing that to me. I don't lie so anything she thinks she has she doesn't). She's spent all week none stop messaging ringing kicking off threatening. She's been threatening to run away with the kids telling him he will never see them again. She was sending him pics of their bags packed. He has all this on this phone. She is definitely getting information on where we are etc as she sends him messages talking about us being together in town and what we were wearing.

I've contacted the police about the death threats to me and he is obviously supporting me with that. He said it's one thing her threatening him but he couldn't live with himself if she did something to me or my kids and he'd not done anything to put a stop to it.

I rang the police yesterday morning and made an appointment with them. and I had a doctors appointment yesterday afternoon. I saw him walking up past my doctors on his way to collect his older two. I went home and we text briefly where he said he was doing the children their tea and apologised for being slow to reply. I said don't be silly youre with your kids etc and thought nothing more and went about my evening.

Since we met he does usually phone me when hes dropped the kids with her as he knows I will be anxious to know if he and the children are OK especially when she's being really unstable.

At half 8 at night he hadn't called so I text asking if all was OK. He was quiet all night but later text to say everything was OK and he would call.

It turns out she showed up halfway through dinner. He said she looked possessed. She was shouting g about "you've made some powerful enemies" (yes. Seriously. That is the kind of thing she comes out with I've heard it with my own ears).

He asked her to leave and she said she'd be back at 7. She continued to kick off and tried to remove the children while doing so. He told her she wasn't taking the children. His brother came and the police were called.

Although he stuck to it and didn't let them talk him round I'm not impressed with the officers attitudes. They basically sympathised with her immediately and tried to coerce him into giving g her access to them despite the fact she was kicking his door in and all he had done is put his children in the kitchen where they couldn't see or hear her and called the police.

He isnt staying g at his house. It's a lovely house but it is a shared house and tbf I don't think he feels safe with them there.

I had my appointment with the police today. They seemed to take me very seriously. The officer I spoke to read the messages he sent over to me (he was going to come with me but in light of the situation with the children I advised he remain with them in case she shows back up and the officer was very understanding that the intention was not to upset me. I showed her that I had asked him to send them for this purpose so it can't be said he's aggravating the situation. He isn't. He won't tell me some of the things she's said that aren't threats as they'd only upset me).

The officer is going to be speaking to her and informing her that if she continues to follow, harass, slander and threatening us they will build a case against her and prosecute her.

My question is where does he need to be going with the kids? She reported them missing g without provision. The police have attended the address he is staying at with them and are happy that the children are safe happy and cared for and In a safe environment.

He needs something in place to stop her taking the children back into her custody.

Is a non molestation order the best idea? Obviously the older two need to be at school but she will simply turn up at school? Does he need a residence order or can he simply get a PSO to stop her removing the kids from him and then leave her to apply for contact? .

There is social work involvement and he needs to get a place for them to live but where he's staying now isn't unsuitable it's just not his.

Can anyone advise on the best course of action to take now?

She won't get legal aid either will she?