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Hi All,
I am a newbie, I've seen lots of useful information so far but nothing which quite answers my questions.
My partner and his Ex separated about 3yrs ago, they have 1 child together now 8yrs. Since leaving the family home, his daughter left with him within 2 weeks, she's been living with him ever since, and only see's her mother when the mother can be bothered to actually take time out for her. It's been very convenient for her, she's been on holidays abroad on more than one occasions leaving the child behind each time.
My partner has other children from previous relationships however, as his Ex didn't approve of this, he wasn't allowed to see his other children or allow his new child with her to build a relationship with her siblings, he did behind her back and has been lying ever since to cover up the fact that the children know and sometimes socialise with each other.
Now, he's not named on his daughter's birth certificate, and therefore has no real rights to her, despite the fact that he has been her only stable parent since birth as the mother is very lazy, refusing to even take her daughter out clothes shopping or to the hairdresser to have her hair done.
She uses the fact that she has PR to blackmail him, threatening to take the child away from him if he doesn't comply with her demands, which could be anything from buying her takeaway or helping her with her car.
Recently, she's found out that her daughter sometimes speaks to her siblings on the phone, she's now taken the child and refusing my partner contact. She has refused to sign the form to put his name on the birth certificate which would give him equal rights to his daughter. Although she had previously agreed if he paid her a sum of money which he agreed to but after an argument she changed her mind.
He's still currently able to make contact over the phone with her, however mom is always in earshot so conversations tend to just be one sided.
My partner is absolutely heartbroken not being able to see his daughter, she is very unhappy with her mother as each time she is with her it's a case of 1000 questions, she constantly asks her questions about her father and everyone around him. She cannot know that I even exist hence he loses her forever.
Any advice would be helpful please.
Thank you in advance
He could try to make an emergency application to have his child returned to him and apply for PR at the same time. Perhaps he can indicate to the mother that this is his intention. She might change her mind quite quickly if she knows he's going to take this action.
It must be awful for the little girl to suddenly not be allowed to go home.
Hi there
This is such a sad state of affairs, having to lie was bound to backfire at some point, it’s just a pity that your partner has left it until that has happened, before taking action to sort this out.
You don’t mention how long ago his daughter was removed from his care?
Does he have any text messages that show ho badly the mother has behaved? For instance about asking for money to be given PR and the blackmail of using her daughter as a bargaining tool?
I would advise your partner to speak to the school, sharing his concerns for her well being... I’m assuming that they knew he was the primary carer all this time? They can support his daughter and offer her pastoral care, someone to talk to about her worries.
If he has concerns for her safety, he could also give his local authority Children Services a call and talk to them, he should ask them to log his concerns if he decides to call.
The order he would need to apply for is an emergency, no notice Child Arrangements Order (CAO) to have her live with him, a Prohibited Steps Order (PSO) to prevent her removal from his care and Parental Responsibility. (PR)
A no notice order, is used where there is urgency, or possible risks to the child. The court would hopefully hear your partners case quickly, without notifying the mother first.
In this circumstance an interim order is usually made and the court will then set a date for a further hearing, where the mother is able to put her side of the case to the court. At this point, if an interim order was made, it can be reversed, there are no guarantees.
There is a fee of £215 to make the applications, however if he is receiving benefits or is on a low income, he may qualify for an exemption.
The forms he needs are the C100 - to apply for the CAO and PSO and form C1 to apply for PR. If there are concerns for the child either from physical or emotional abuse, or because of the mothers lifestyle, perhaps with drinker drugs being involved, he should also submit form C1a to tell the court about the risks.
Of course, if he decides to use a solicitor, this will be taken care of by them.
Best of luck
Thank you for your response, it is awful at the moment and the child gets very anxious about talking to anyone as she is terrified that her mother or father may get into a lot of trouble with the law, unfortunately being her age, she doesn't have a great understanding of the legal system and she's also afraid of her mother who threatens to beat her if she tries to talk about how she feels.
The child was taken last Saturday, dad is only able to communicate with her over the phone when she is on her way to school in the mornings, mom is not currently aware of this, but not sure how much longer she will be able to do this.
My partner is dyslexic, he finds it very hard to text, therefore prefers to communicate verbally, I have encouraged him to have only written conversations with her, but this is proving quite difficult.
He does have a few messages where he's stated what was discussed and her unwillingness to comply with request such as taking the child to the doctors because of concerns she may an allergy, or to help with getting her back to school ready, however she hasn't replied to any of his messages, preferring to speak him over the phone.
He's tried reasoning with her over the phone the past few days about the fact that she is causing more harm to their daughter than good, but she seems to have no intentions to comply.
Also, is the costs of the applications per form? Eg £215 for each of the 3 things applied for, or is it £215 for everything if applied for together?
Thank you
The £215 will cover both applications, as they are made at the same time.
Best of luck with the application, please do let us know how you get on.
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