Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi All,
I've been looking for a comprehensive position statement as I need to file this by next Thursday.
I waited until now as my position is changing all the time but I've been unable to find one which is relevant without having to pay for it.
If anyone has one I'd greatly appreciate a copy.
I'm still in bits about it all and just don't know what type of contact to ask for. I'd like to see him at least once a week but his mum is saying I can only have him every other Saturday/Sunday. I know the procedure is to ask for much more and negotiate down but I don't want to wind my ex up by asking for shared residency, and I'm not sure I could cope financially with this either.
Does every Saturday for 4 or 5 hours and every other weekend from Friday to Sunday night sound like a reasonable request? This is what I would like to end up with but what should I ask for initially to negotiate down to this?
I just can't think straight. I can apply myself to anything but I don't seem to be able to concentrate on anything to do with the case. It emotionally drains me and I just find myself tearing up whenever I think about the situation.
I'm just a bit of a mess! The help I've had on hear has been great and I would appreciate any further assistance anybody feels they could offer.
Many thanks.
Scott
Hi Scott
First google custody midfield position statement that should give you the template
second it is now unreasonable after a year of you being together with your partner that your ex wants you to take your 4 year old son out for 8 hours this is not in the child's best interest - does she have a partner ?
I did see my children every Friday - Sun for 3 years but changed due to work , wanted to be part of school and also new baby and just that my ex would not do anything with the children I felt they should have some time with their mother anyway I now see Friday -Sunday/Monday one week and the other week I collect one day from school keep over night and return to school so I get to see them every week still and be part of all aspects of their life,
so it is not unreasonable to ask for every week contact however your ex might not like the idea of both Saturdays you having your son as it limits her quality time can you arrange a different day in the week for tea after school maybe over night stay and take to school so you can be part of your son's school life too ?
it's not always the case you get negotiated down it is what is in the child's best interest not the mothers or yours so the judge may feel seeing you weekly and having school contact is a positive for your son and award it
when writing your PS - Keep it about what yoy offer your son , how being part of his life benefits him , what things you do together when you have contact and how you want him to be part of your life with your partner as this will benefit him having someone else to care for him etc,- keep it positive try not to make statements about your ex that you can not evidence
explain how having a child arrangement order will help your child have a regular routine and that it will lessen any issues arising over contact with the mother etc
Hi Scott
www.thecustodyminefield.com/Factsheets/TCMPositionStatementTemplate.doc
As Eric points out the judge may have a problem with every weekend even if on alternate Saturdays its only for 4/5 hours....but maybe not! It's a suck it and see situation. Ask for it but be prepared to accept alternate weekends, with a mid week contact visit so that you and your child get the continuity of weekly contact.
You can also negotiate a block of time during the summer so that you can go on holiday, extra time at easter and a sharing of Christmas and birthdays, one year you have Christmas and the next year he stays with mum.
Hi,
If you email me at jo.newbury@icloud.com i can email you with one if you like, we created it for my partner who represented himself and the judge said it was pretty good considering we did it.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.