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When me and my ex broke up I was a little infuriated about the way things went down and I was very angry during the 'collecting my stuff to leave' phase.
I kicked her back door a few times, rushed through to grab all of my stuff and I banged against a light switch to switch the light on and it snapped/broke.
The next day she called the police on me and told them to get a crime number, I wasn't contacted by the police but then she later received a letter from social services stating "we know about the incident and we're here to help if you need us".
She has since had her locks changed on her house (after telling me I should keep the keys to the house). I believe she's told me to keep the key and then gone to her housing and said I've taken the key, won't give it back etc.
Call me paranoid but I can see what's building up here: I'm going to be labelled as some sort of violent, drink driving, drug taking, [censored] of a man who shouldn't be allowed around her or the baby.
I don't have a criminal record or convictions at all in my entire life.
I think she is going to try and muddy my name in an attempt to take contact with my daughter away from me.
We had an arrangement where I could see my daughter but given some other problems I'm going to be taking her to court and starting the process Monday morning.
I've stopped contact over this weekend because the minute she finds out I'm going down the legal route she's going to come out all guns blazing with lies and exaggerations. I don't know if I should be seeing my daughter where she has the opportunity to assassinate me further but at the same time I want to see my daughter.
Thanks for any and all help
Hello Lostdad,
I'm assuming you have Parental Responsibility, (named on the Birth Certificate)?
Irrespective of whether you are going down the legal route or not, I do believe you should NOT stop any chance of contact you can have with your daughter. This is about you wanting reasonable contact with your daughter and for her to enjoy contact with her Father not about appeasing your Ex or being fearful of what she may say. It is about what is best for the child, they need both parents in their lives!
It is a dreadful thing when the mothers resort to exaggerations, untruths, using the children as pawns and alienating them as they try to do but sadly this is what most fathers on here go through at the hands of such woman.
You talk of quote, "collecting my stuff to leave" phase, I can fully understand your frustration, anger and shock but being in an emotional state can give the Ex ammunition to try to use against you. In future you need to be TOTALLY IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS. Do not react to what is thrown at you, WALK AWAY.
Be comforted that the courts are very familiar to the untruths and "games" these women play.
If you have cause to meet with your Ex, please safeguard yourself by meeting her in a public place which has good CCTV. Keep a record of meetings and anything untoward your Ex says or does.
Always take advantage of seeing your daughter as often as you can. You will be showing the court you want to be a Father to your daughter. The welfare of the child is the ONLY thing the court is interested in!
*** Please note, when writing this reply, I was unaware you had posted a second message containing a great deal more information regarding your circumstances.
At this stage, especially as she has already contacted the police once, it's important that you tread very carefully, as it would be very easy for her to get an injunction out against you. If that happens it will make your court application that much harder.
I think you are right to take a step back as far as having any contact with her at the moment, she is highly likely to stop contact once she receives the court papers anyway. If you can arrange for contact to take place away from her home, perhaps arrange for a third party to pick your child up, or as MotherofaFather says, meet in a public place, that would be preferable. It won't be for too long, it takes roughly 4-6 weeks from submitting the application to the first hearing.
Try to avoid sending multiple texts, believe it or not this can be considered as harassment and grounds for an injunction. If you do communicate with her it would be better to do this by email or letter and keep copies and proof of postage.
Thanks guys for the advice,
I has already thought of meeting in public, but I already know I'm going to get the "she's too young to be out and about", "I have to breastfeed" or the "I can't afford to get there" responses.
I'm going to give them a go anyway because I do genuinely want to see my daughter and I'll see what happens.
Again, thanks so much for the advice
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