Divorce

Hey everyone

I posted about my situation with a child arrangement order some years ago and received some fantastic advice from the good people on this forum that helped me massively in navigating that situation and getting a good outcome for my son and I.  Since then, I got married and had another child, but it seems the marriage has broken down.  I'm hoping you guys may be able to point me in the right direction with the situation please.

I married my now wife in July of 2021.  This is the first time I have been married.  We own a house together and this was purchased before the marriage in 2020.  Our daughter was born in September of 2022, and is about to turn 2 years old.

Things in the marriage changed after our daughter was born.  I suspect things change for a lot of married couples after having kids.  But for us we seem to be drifting further and further apart.  Before our daughter was born there were behaviours from my wife that at the time made me rather uncomfortable, which I thought at the time, and on reflection now, amount to coercive and controlling behaviour. Since the birth of our daughter things have gotten worse on that front and I find that my wife often tries to control me, mainly through threats. I'm often the brunt other anger and frustration that she experiences due to work and parenting.  I could write an essay on the situation, but I believe that I have always been fully supportive and not deserving of her anger and criticism.  Suffice to say, every time we have had a difference of opinion over the last year, or I don't want to do something she wants to do in terms of the family, it devolves into her telling me she wants a divorce.  She knows I don't want that, and she knows the financial implications of it terrify me, which is why she uses it as a tool to make me do what she wants.  But it's at the point now, were has made another divorce threat this weekend, and honestly I am just numb to it and think it is best to part ways as amicable and painlessly as possible.

And that is where things are looking difficult, and I don't know the best solution.  It goes without saying, I don't want to have to spend thousands of pounds on a divorce lawyer.  The last family court episode cost me near on £10k.  In an ideal world, we would just sell the house, agree the care of our daughter and then both move out of the house nd go to our new places.  The thing is, my wife seems to think I should move out immediately, however,  that is not possible financially.  I can't pay rent or buy another place when paying a mortgaged my equity is tied up in this house.  I also don't have family nearby or anywhere else to move to.  I'm being threatened that if I don't agree to that demand, solicitors will be involved on her side.  And we know it gets messy and acrimonious when they get involved.

The other issue is any financial settlement.  I work a full time job, which is slightly above average salary.  My wife has her own business and took a few months away from that as maternity leave.  She hasn't even up any career to have a  child.  Her income was more than mine pre-pandemics, and will be greater than or equal to mine this year.  Last year, let's say 12 months ago, my father in law offered to pay off some of our mortgage to help with our joint financial situation.  My wife and I own the house as joint tenants, putting in an equal deposit at purchase.  I considered the money from my father in law to be a gift to us both as a family.  Not sure that would be viewed in divorce.

In the current cost of living crisis and with a view to us both moving on to buy a new home each, dividing the proceeds of the house sale equally means we can both buy something suitable for our daughter to live in in a 50/50 arrangement.

Would really appreciate your thoughts and advice.

Thank you.