Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
I have a 9 year old Daughter. She has became quite vocal that she wishes to spend more time with myself.
I have spoken to the Child’s Mother and she’s having none of it.
I have therefore started the process of trying to obtain a little more time. Preliminary letters etc.
im looking to secure one extra overnight per two weeks as I get 4 overnights each fortnight. So a move to 5. I’m trying to ensure it’s winnable and not an uphill struggle.
however my Child has advised me of a number of incidents regards the Mother’s family who are providing childcare. The Child has been told a lot of nasty things about myself and “that I would be locked up”. My Child has been advised they will not be stopped from having their first holy communion. Toys withheld when my Child shows a preference for myself. Also things I bought for the child destroyed.
I am wondering how to handle these incidents. The Child’s Mother will not entertain these as they are about her Family members. If I mentioned it to social services I would end up getting investigated too and there’s a potential the child gets pulled from everyone. If I mention it as part of the attempts to gain an extra night it muddies the waters. What do you suggest I do? I don’t really want to let my Daughter suffer until she is of age she can walk from them.
Hi,
Do you live local to your ex? If so then possibly you can have more time if able to do school runs. Do you see child for half of school holidays?
If sending letters by solicitors, would suggest to stop as very costly, and try mediation. Government gives £500 free mediation vouchers, have to check with mediator if they offer it. A decent one is:
That's rough. It sounds to my like her Mother is probably feeling like her position is being threatened, still, it seems to me that your daughter's opinion should be listened to and its always sad when parents or other family try to put ideas in children's minds like that.
I can't advise on the legal side but I'd say it can't hurt to keep a detailed record of anything and everything that seems a bit off.
Best of luck.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.