[Solved] Directions Hearing :/

Im not sure at all and will read with interest at any replies as we may soon (hopefully) be in a similar boat.

I would assume you have to go to court asap with the CAFCASS recommendations and the judge rules, simples? I dont know....but I know for us too that mum isnt just gonna pack the kids a bag and say 'see ya next weekend....'

yes directions hearing a week on Monday. There's no way Mum will agree but my daughter is 13 and CAFCASS have reported in her favour and said her wishes will hold a lot of weight. Waiting is worst part 🙁

Hi there

It looks favourable to me, your daughter is at an age where her wishes will carry a lot of weight and her unhappiness is being fully acknowledged and supported by the authorities....in this instance I see no reason why the judge won't act on their recommendations to be honest.

Whether your ex agrees or not is a side issue, I can't see that there should be too many delays, there are no safeguarding issues and your partners past has already been discounted.

My gut feeling is that this won't drag on, the important points of your application have been covered and it has already been pointed out that your daughter is suffering and her position is being made worse, you must argue that this situation will not change and delays will only prolong her suffering.

There's no way of knowing what the judge will decide but it looks favourable. Has your daughter written a letter to the court directly? This might be an option....or if the case looks like it might drag ask about your daughter being given a guardian, she would then be given her own solicitor who would put her wishes and feelings to the court. Perhaps call the CAFCASS officer that did the report and ask about this, as the guardian would be supplied by CAFCASS if it were allowed.

If the case looks to go on then ask for the judge to award interim residency at the next hearing, for you daughters well being, until a final decision can be made. Or even better write a letter to the court now, to ask that time can be afforded at the hearing on the 16th June to discuss granting interim residence if a final decision wont be made. The reasons are that your daughter is suffering and this will only increase if she is left in her present situation....attach a letter from your daughter with her wishes for it to be concluded quickly and to be able to live with you.

Good luck.

Thanks Nannyjane your advice is appreciated.

My daughter already submitted a letter to the court in the beginning. CAFCASS told me themselves they believe my daughter wrote the letter without coercion and therefore means the judge can use it as evidence. So should I just send a letter to the court requesting an time to discuss an interim anyway? The mother continues to make my daughter feel bad and even CAFCASS have mentioned it so I can bring the judges attention to that point in my letter?

On another note I also have my 9 year old son who they have suggested not to do anything about. I only see him at weekends every other week. CAFCASS themselves admitted they were unsure what to do with him but felt his needs are being met. I feel that once my daughter is removed the abuse could transfer to him and he will become very low due to his sister leaving. Any advice in regards to my son would be greatly appreciated.

J

I would, it won't hurt to remind the judge in the letter that your daughters well being is being affected and this is the reason why you feel it's important to have it addressed as a mater of urgency, at the next hearing.

As far as your son is concerned, its important that the effects of separation from his sister are recognised and addressed by granting more contact, so that the negative effects can be minimised. It must be a concern and the mother should also be asked recognise that she can play a pivotal role in making the transition an easier one for your son by being more flexible and facilitating the extra contact in a calm and reasonable manner. Point out that it would be best for the children if past differences could be set aside so that you can all move forward and start to work together for their sake. Perhaps request mediation as a possible solution to start some dialogue...be the one to offer the olive branch, be seen to be the reasonable one....she probably won't agree but it helps to show that you are completely child centred and want to move forward in a proactive way.

Your daughter leaving will have an impact on him and he is still too young to fully understand, so its up to the adults in his life to help him. If the mother transfers the abuse to him you will quickly become aware of this, it's just a matter of monitoring the situation. Ask the school to keep an eye on him and perhaps suggest they provide him with some pastoral care, so that he has someone to talk to about how he feels, which won't be shared with anyone else.

Hi Nannyjane,

Well I had the directions hearing and didn't hardly get a word in edgeways the ex was even talking over the judge stating that my daughter keeps changing her mind and the CAFCASS report is not accurate as only saw her for an hour. I was in there 10 minutes to decide that it would go to a final hearing which will apparently last a whole day?

Im a little confused as we've submitted statements and witness statements and all manner of things to the court and now they want another final statement by 30th June as will go straight to a final hearing. We didn't even discuss an interim. I don't know how long it will be until the final hearing and worried about what [censored] she will come out with in the meantime. How much weight will the CAFCASS report hold in the final hearing the fact my daughter is 13?
Also is there any advice anywhere about cross examination etc? Any advice now would be thankful as near the end and the final hearing is very terrifying. Especially since she will definitely lie to the judge.

Thanks and thanks for support through this has been most appreciated.

J

Apologies if this gets lengthy but I believe I can offer some support.

I do not know the facts but was your Directions Hearing in a proper court room, with a court recorder, etc.?

Mine was, it was intimidating and I didn't get a chance to speak much either (I had intended on requesting Interim Order, etc.) which concerned me. However the Final Hearing was actually much more informal, held in a Judge's 'chambers' with just both parties' present.

This hearing was scheduled to last an entire day but realistically lasted around three hours, with appropriate and relevant breaks. My ex insisted on numerous witnesses and I was advised to bring my own (not necessarily because they were relevant but that it would potentially look bad if she had and I didn't) - in reality the Judge dismissed all witnesses until/if they became relevant/necessary and none were actually called.

In a Judges' chambers and with just the two of you present, the Judge will not tolerate any abuse/unreasonable behaviour/unfounded allegations. In my experience he/she will focus ONLY on that which can be agreed upon/established as fact - this can work both ways. CAFCASS's report will hold significant weight and I would advise you to ensure/check that they will be present - if they are there is likely to be an opportunity for both parties' to speak aside from the Judge prior to any hearing taking place, with CAFCASS present.

I have written this assuming that you are representing yourself. If this is the case - anything which you wish to raise/produce evidence in support of must be provided to the other party and the Court in advance of the hearing - the Judge simply will not allow anything to influence his/her decision, however conclusive, if you, her and the Judge were not aware of it well in advance of the Final Hearing.

I have tried to reassure you that it isn't that intimidating and that you shouldn't be afraid to speak up - the Judge will listen, but can only act in certain, very clear circumstances. I would be happy to provide any more guidance specific to your circumstances but there is free legal advice available and I am no expert.

Either way I wish you the best of luck and hope I have/can help!

Hi,

Thanks for replying it's very useful to get someone else's experience.

Today was in a chamber just the two of us and the judge. What really surprised me is that the judge allowed her to talk over him and me and she dominated the whole 10 minutes. I'm worried that the final hearing will also go this way. I'm also concerned as I didn't get to request an interim and whilst the judge said final statements must be in by 30th June the hearing could apparently not be until end of September.

One thing I am unsure of, the judge has asked to submit a statement from us both for final hearing. I have already submitted a statement, a letter from my daughter and 6 character witness statements etc. The court said they will prepare the bundle as I'm self representing so shall I assume these will be included? I have also submitted a position statement so I'm a little unsure of what the final hearing statement should contain?

My other concern is that I am representing myself and as the last two hearings have been difficult as she has constantly spoken over me etc and with a history of emotional abuse there (10 years she subjected me to) is there anything I can request to be put in place?

Thanks again.

J

I'm surprised the judge didn't tell her to be quiet! Hopefully this will be the case at the final hearing.

The report from CAFCASS will hold weight, as will your daughters wishes. It must be very difficult to have to put up with her behaviour in court but I can't think of anything that you could do about that.

Your next statement should be more about the reasons why your daughter should live with you and should include any evidence you have to back this up. A chronology would also be helpful to add.

No he didnt he just kept ask8ng her questions.

What sort of evidence do I need? I have thw cafcass report and a letter my daughter wrote whoch the court has had from the 1st hearing. Im not sure what else to use? She has submitted school reports etc as her defence. My daughter is 13 though so hope this helps. Also its nearly impossible to prove emotional abuse without putting my daughter on the stand which I know she couldnt do. Her letter however suggests it. Thanks again all appreciate advice this is very stressful.

Hi,

I am reluctant to advise as mine was only one case but there are a couple of things that have flagged up in what you have said:

> CAFCASS' involvement could/should be paramount, given the age of your daughter. The Court's remain loathe to deviate from their recommendations unless sufficient evidence is presented to the contrary. I would encourage you to check that they are to be present.
> However as the applicant the onus of proof is on you. You will be required to demonstrate that the current situation is not working for your daughter, regardless of any interim arrangements and how long they have lasted for.
> The Judge may have allowed her to speak over you/dictate proceedings, however that does not necessarily entail her to control the outcome. In my experience the Judge solely relies on facts or that which both parties could agree on.
> I cannot stress enough that any evidence - texts, emails, instances - that you even could possibly end up referring to should be included in your 'bundle', regardless of how big this ends up being! If you/she refers to anything on the day which has not been provided to both of you ad the Judge well in advance of any Final Hearing, it simply will/should not be allowed.
> If you do not have legal representation then I believe you are still entitled to be accompanied by a 'McKenzie friend' - these can be hired (with legal knowledge/cheaper than a Barrister) or can genuinely be a friend, there are organisations which can potentially help refer you to an experienced one - these can support you if you are concerned, provide advice and even speak on your behalf.

I apologise for harping on but, amongst all this, is there no potential for a mutual agreement with your ex? It doesn't sound like it but Court agreements are inflexible, expensive even to apply and almost impossible to enforce - I would always encourage anyone to at least try to come to their own, mutually beneficial agreement before applying to the Court. Perhaps at least try to reason with the Demon before you commit?!?