Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
firstly bit of background, split from ex in November 2012 and saw my 11 year son on a regular basis this happened happily till July. She then refused to let me see him all July. As she would not communicate I went to Court who issued a Contact Order, of the ten weeks the order was in place she breached this 8 times, she refused to let me see him over Christmas and New Year and for my birthday. I applied back to Court and had to undertake CAFCASS meeting and report. My ex refused mediation at all points.
On the second hearing at Court the CAFCASS report states no welfare issues and a second contact order was issued, this was on the 12th of March and she has again breached this order 4 times already and she refuses to answer any calls or emails and monitors my sons phone and he said to me that he gets grief if he trys to contact me.
The only time she called was to rant and rage at me because I was paying maintenance and said I couldn't as she was getting the CSA onto me.
I have a further review hearing in Court on the 16th of June and I am considering representing myself, I have kept a diary with regards to all the events that are happening but just don't know what to do for the best.
If there is anyone who could provide any help or advice I would be so greatful, at the end of the day I am a dad who is desperate to see my son and contributing financially as required. i feel like some kind of criminal HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go represent your self man you will get plenty of advice and help on here 🙂
Hi there
Has she made any allegations against you, or given reasons for stopping contact in July?
Was the first contact order that she breached 8 times a final order and the case was closed, or was it an interim contact order and the case continued? Did the judge say anything about the breaches?
Have you done anything about the breaches, writing to the court or to her solicitor? Does she have a solicitor?
Have you been represented legally in the previous hearings?
Have you or your solicitor filed any statements with the court?
As its only three weeks until the review hearing, there isn't time to write to the court and ask for further directions and to have the hearing brought forward.
You really need to push the breaches and the fact that you are unable to communicate with the mother in any way...and the fact that your son is being prevented from having any contact with you and is told off when he tries to make contact.
You should write to her solicitor and bring the 4 breaches to their attention with dates, state that this is unacceptable and remind them that their client is in breach of the interim contact order. Request they contact their client as a matter of urgency, to make it clear that the order must be adhered to and that contact be reinstated immediately.
If you have a solicitor at the moment and haven't officially released them from the case then it's likely that her solicitor won't enter into dialogue with you and you will have to get your solicitor to write to them. Alternatively you can sack your solicitor, if that's what you're planning, and send her solicitor a copy of the release form to inform them that you are now acting as a Litigant in Person, along with the letter about the breach. That way they will have no choice but to start communicating with you directly.
If she doesn't have a solicitor then you should write to her instead saying the same thing, remind her that there are penalties for breaching a contact order and you will be actively pursuing this if contact isn't reinstated immediately. Don't be rude, just state the facts.
Once you have done this send copies to the court and the CAFCASS officer that compiled the report, with a covering letter, and keep a copy for your records. It might be a good idea to call the CAFCASS officer involved and speak to them about the breach and the fact that she is totally unapproachable and tell them you have forwarded a copy of the letter to them concerning this and have also filed it with the court.
Suggest to join families need fathers and attend one of their monthly discussion sessions plus when you go back to court get a penal notice attached to the court order so if she breaches theoretically it's a criminal offence [not that in my experience the courts send anyone to prison ] but it will add more weight to your cause
Good luck
...I think since 2008 all orders automatically have a penal notice attached.
Here's a link to the webpage where you can find details of FNF meetings in your area
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.