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Hi all,
This is my first post and I am really in need of some advice.
I split with my wife in August last year after finding out she had been having multiple affairs for at least 9 months prior. Whilst I wanted to reconcile she ran off with an 18 year old (she is 35) and my life ended. I was very low and took a prescription drugs overdose in front of her as a cry for help.
The police have been involved a number of times towards the end of our marriage (after she started cheating) and a couple of times after we split. I was arrested for violent communication but not charged. We spent 3 months or so seeing each other regularly and me seeing my 9 year old autistic son every Sunday but only with her there.
When I asked in December about seeing my son unsupervised she got very angry and cut off all my contact. I have never seen my son on my own, even when we were happily married - the woman is a control freak.
Because she denied me access from December I filed a court order which has allowed me 1 hour supervised access every Sunday with her mother who I never got on with. The judge in March said Social Services would need to complete a section 7 report and that has just ben done. The social worker is lovely and has said I need to start seeing my son unsupervised from next Sunday (5th August) and within 2 months he should be able to stay over at my house (I know live with my dad). The only people that are saying I am not safe is my ex and her mum, everyone else says there is no issues and I am hoping the judge agrees with the social worker. I was delighted to read her report but I have just got home and seen that she has just instructed a solicitor to challenge this and they are asking for a 4 week adjournment. I don't want to agree to this but not sure if I should get a solicitor now because we are due on court on Friday and there is not enough time to get things done before then.
She is a vile woman who has accused me and my dad of molesting my son and that is her reason not to allow me access. She is also saying I am mentally unstable although no one else sees there being any issues with me. My son is desperate to see me and keeps saying he wants to come and stay with me but I don't know what her solicitor is going to say. My son keeps telling me that mummy has said I don't love him and I hate him and it is not fair on him.
Can someone please help me as I am desperate to see my son and she is using him to hurt me.
PS - my divorce came through last week so I don't know if that has any bearing on parental responsibility - I have always had it up till now so I am assuming I still do?
Thanks in advance,
Rich
Hi Rich and welcome to site!
I'm really sorry to hear about the problems you have experienced. It must have been very difficult for you and I understand the anxiety of not being able to spend quality time with your child.
Can I just confirm that you have, thus far, represented yourself in court? If that's the case you can contact the Coram Children's Legal Centre (CCLC) directly for free legal advice. There's a link at the foot of this page that will take you directly to their website. I could ask them to pop along and answer your post, but it can take them several days and time seems to be of the essence. So give them a call!
Her solicitor challenging the Social Services report and asking for a four week adjournment sounds like a typical delaying tactic. On what grounds is she challenging the report? Hopefully a judge will see through this, but there are no guarantess I'm afraid.
The things that your ex has been saying to your son is a form of parental alienation. You need to raise this, but perhaps speak to the CCLC about how to get this point across effectively...
... and don't worry you will not have lost any parental responsibility as a consequence of the divorce!
FM '70
Hi FM'70
Thank you for coming back to me so quickly.
I have been in court and they didn't even look at the social service report. They just did whatever she wanted.
Now I am having to wait at least another 3 months before anything develops. Just trying to get a solicitor and to speak to CCLC but cant get hold of them!
Will keep trying.
Keep trying the CCLC on Monday. They'll be closed over the weekend. In the interim I'll ask that someone from the CCLC takes a look at your post, so keep popping back here as they usually respond within a couple of working days...
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