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Delicate situation....
 
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[Solved] Delicate situation......

 
(@simon7580)
Honorable Member Registered

Evening guys,

As I have mentioned recently, the ex's dad has taken it upon himself to mention to CAFCASS when they interviewed him (why thy did this remains a mystery to me!) the he has witnessed me physically assault my own mother. Now this is a grade A lie, and there is nothing outside of court that I can do about his conduct.

The problem for me is that the contact I have with my son is at his house - 8 hours every fortnight. So as you can see I'm really in the lions den here, and at the full mercy of an other allegation he wishes to make against me. Until the next court hearing in June, I have 2 more sessions at his house, the first being this Sunday coming. The other 2 are at my ex's house, although, she isn't present. Funny that eh? I'm a violent lunatic, but she lets me in her house with her two sisters supervising me. Oh and her sister brings her 2 year old daughter along as well......can't wait to bring that bit up in court lol. Anyway, I'm getting off the point a little.....

So to counter the danger of further allegations, and give myself some element of protection, I have invested in a sony digital recording device. Basically it will sit in my pocket whilst I'm at the ex's dad's house and whatever happens in his front room is going to be recorded. If he makes another allegation, then I have proof it didn't happen. They will not be aware that I'm recording....it's purely to protect myself.

What I was thinking was though....he has made this particular allegation against me, so what if I asked him about this allegation , and why he was making up lies about me? He may choose to get all billy big bollocks with me and admit he is telling lies, and that he can do what he wants. If he does, then I have it on recording that he lied.

If not, and he denies lying, he still may incriminate himself by anything he says.

So with that said - could that recording be used in court?

I think a judge would be keen to hear evidence that proves someone is perverting the course of justice.

Any ideas guys?

Simon.

Quote
Topic starter Posted : 06/05/2014 10:43 pm
(@got-the-tshirt)
Famed Member Registered

Hi There,

I'm pretty sure that any recording made without all parties recorded on it knowing they were being recorder (I hope that makes sense)
isn't usable in court unfortunately.

GTTS

ReplyQuote
Posted : 06/05/2014 11:39 pm
(@eric14)
Honorable Member Registered

I think for your peace of mind it would be best to make a recording ,

my experience of this is that my ex reported that when I drop the children t her I abuse her etc , - I didn't even get out the car (only to get children our safe with bag then back in watching them ) , so to counter act this I started recorded myself doing this with the newspaper for date ..... she soon stopped making up silly lies, - because she reported it police came round advised me to do this..... they also said if I needed to talk to her could be recorded traffic noise that picked her up ? and if I needed to they would listen to anything that was recorded that was relevant and decide how to produce from their it seems to me the courts / police are a little more flexible about evidence these days and could accept such recordings,

I think with the phones now being able to video , record etc it is so much more assemble for people to record things for evidence so it can be used, it is very difficult to always alert the person ...I was tempted to make a badge that said this conversation may be recorded for evidence purposes , that's a warning hey like a sticker in shops 🙂

good luck - must be hard preparing to go in to the lions den .... good on you for not allowing it to stop contact with your son shows your strength of character and the importance of your son

ReplyQuote
Posted : 07/05/2014 1:29 pm
(@simon7580)
Honorable Member Registered

I'm definitely going to record the contact session, because at the end of the day, if another allegation surfaces relating to the upcoming contact session, then I can use the recording to prove that it didn't happen.

As for obtaining an admission in regards to the existing allegation - perhaps that's not the best way to handle things. Even if he did admit to me he lied, then is the recording going to be admissable in court? I don't know - maybe not. No doubt in this warped reality of FJS it will count against me. So I think I won't ask him about allegations.

I have made my mind up that even if I lose this upcoming case and am forced to have supervised contact still, I won't agree to any further contact at the home of my ex's dad. The environment is heavily against me, and he can make up any allegation at any time, and I can do nothing about it. Plus the ex's dad has said he doesn't want to supervise anymore anyway - so it's going to have to be at a contact centre I guess.

I just have this bad feeling now that I won't be obtaining justice in June.......

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 07/05/2014 3:28 pm
(@eric14)
Honorable Member Registered

I think you are right to not talk about the allegations as to be honest that will enhance the bad atmosphere,

hard as it is just don't even give them any indication you care what they think or feel about you

as for your feelings in regards to your hearing in June - that is part of the emotional rollercoaster you are on and because you have been hit with a negative ... sadly it is all up's and down's but i believe your ability to remain calm, being able to articulate well and also that you have done nothing wrong,

it's a battle you shouldn't be facing but keep strong we all fear the unknown, especially when our life's are in someone else hands it's very difficult to accept but you are not alone and from your post i get a real sense you will be heard and i am sure the judge /magistrate will make a decision in your favour - hang in their

ReplyQuote
Posted : 07/05/2014 3:38 pm
(@simon7580)
Honorable Member Registered

Thats's just it Eric, to me the guy is insignificant, and I'm not going to even give him the slightest hint that he has bothered me.

I know a reaction will fuel him, and will be used against me, so I won't even bother.

It's just frustrating that such a blatant lie is being made against me. Makes me feel sick to even think about hitting my own mum 🙁

Anyway come June, I'm better prepared for the hearing than my ex or anyone else thinks.....

Simon.

ReplyQuote
Topic starter Posted : 07/05/2014 3:58 pm
(@dadmod4)
Illustrious Member

I think the subject of recording is a grey area - if you are recording a phone call, then the Telecommunications Act covers that and there are certain rules, but as far as I am aware, recording otherwise isn't generally covered unless specifically prohibited (like in court, for instance, where it is definitely not something you want to do). I would record it and transcribe it - the worst that can happen is that a court can disallow the transcript.

ReplyQuote
Posted : 07/05/2014 11:41 pm
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