[Solved] Daughter supposedly refusing to see me.

how old is your daughter? only way you will really know if alienation has taken place is if you meet your daughter, or phone contact?

Do you have any contact with the counciller - could they provide an independent view and facilitate a true picture.

It has a very familiar ring to it for the controlling parent to say the child doesn't want to when it is actually the adult with the issue.

Oh my god! This is the exact same situation with my daughter. The ex has turned her against me and said horrible things about me to her. It is clear there parent alienation taking place but what can I do about it?

...you’ve got mediation soon Dave, see how that pans out. You could let her know that if mediation fails and she won’t agree to the midweek stay over, you will be applying for a shared care arrangement, which means that the children will have two homes and live with both of you, thus equalising your parenting position...it may make her think that accepting an extra night is the lesser of two evils!

Best of luck

how old is your daughter? only way you will really know if alienation has taken place is if you meet your daughter, or phone contact?

Thanks for the post, she’s 12.

I can’t meet her because the ex is stating she doesn’t want to see me and I should respect that. I also don’t have any phone contact at all.

Do you have any contact with the counciller - could they provide an independent view and facilitate a true picture.

It has a very familiar ring to it for the controlling parent to say the child doesn't want to when it is actually the adult with the issue.

I’ve spoken to the councillor and she has stated that my daughter is feeling very low and she has stated to her that she doesn’t want to see me.

I’m extremely surprised as contact has gone well and she’s always happy when she’s with me.

I know she’s previously been coached and told what to say in the past and she’s even admitted this to me in the past.

I thought if you have a contact order then you have the right to see your child as per the court order, even if the child says they don't want to see you. Surely there has to be a valid reason for contact to be stopped by the child. Just saying they don't isn't enough is it??

I feel i might be in the same situation soon, my son said he doesn't want to see he (he was in a mood), lots of PA from his mother since I moved in with my partner and her child.

That’s right puma, but for that to happen the other parent has to make the child available... breaches of orders are common unfortunately, it’s down to the denied parent to make a fresh application for enforcement of the existing order, and the court is slow to act, if at all... success rates for enforcement proceedings are incredibly small, most turn into variations of the existing order.

With the child’s mental health issues, the court are likely to view that as a good enough reason for the breach, however they will investigate the situation, if Villarkita decides to make an application for the breaches.

At 12 his child will be listened to, but the responsibility to decide whether to see a parent shouldn’t be made by the child and contact should always be encouraged, but how do you prove that isn’t being done.

That’s right puma, but for that to happen the other parent has to make the child available... breaches of orders are common unfortunately, it’s down to the denied parent to make a fresh application for enforcement of the existing order, and the court is slow to act, if at all... success rates for enforcement proceedings are incredibly small, most turn into variations of the existing order.

With the child’s mental health issues, the court are likely to view that as a good enough reason for the breach, however they will investigate the situation, if Villarkita decides to make an application for the breaches.

At 12 his child will be listened to, but the responsibility to decide whether to see a parent shouldn’t be made by the child and contact should always be encouraged, but how do you prove that isn’t being done.

Thanks for your reply

I have posted off my completed c79 today so I guess it’s just a case of waiting for the court to get back to me with a date.

I’m hoping the letter and texts I’ve received just saying that I should just respect my daughters feelings and wishes will go towards showing contact is not been actively encouraged.

I am also going to approach mediation and see if that’s a possibility.

Best of luck with it, your previous experience of court will help you, and we are always here to advise and support.

All the best

Best of luck with it, your previous experience of court will help you, and we are always here to advise and support.

All the best

Thank you.

I know it’s going to be a dragged out long affair and it will no doubt turn in to a variation but I’ve been left with no choice really.

Am I right in thinking I’ll need a brief position statement when we attend court?

Hope you are well