[Solved] daghter going to mothers at weekends

Hi there 🙂

When you say you have joint custody, who is in receipt of the child benefit? What sort of arrangement do you have for payment of child maintenance? I'm just trying to establish who is classed as the Resident Parent.

It might be worth trying to sort this out through Mediation as court would be a last resort. You are right, it is completely understandable that you should know where your daughter is.

You could keep hold of your daughter, but I think that would entail going back to court inevitably. Is there any history of domestic violence that the mother could use as a reason not to share her new address with you?

Think about Mediation, if you are on benefits or a low income you would be entitled to Legal Aid to cover the costs. Here's a link

www.nfm.org.uk

my ex is getting the child befits she pays some of the child care . the things I pay for my daughter are all her cloths / school meals /school trips /actives clubs/food/washing cloths/even the ones from weekend trips to mothers my daughter lives with me in the original marital house I brought my ex out .my daughter will be going to new high school just up the road from us her mother live further a way in rented flat with new man .I have never be violent or ever will .I divorced her on unresable behaviour .but she has done much more

The child benefit is payable for the child, why is your ex still getting it? You should make your own claim.

You should know where your daughter is staying, its not right that your daughter goes somewhere that you don't know, what if something were to happen? what if you needed to get hold of her urgently? What if she contacted you because she needs you urgently? You don't know where she is. There are many many reasons why you should know where your daughter is going to.

Try mediation first, it will be a lot cheaper. If not you will have to stop contact and let her take you to court. What does your daughter say about it? You say she is going to high school, so she is about 12? Does she have any views?

From what you say, I think you should be regarded as the Resident parent, you have her all week and she has contact with her mother at the weekends, she has remained with you in the marital home and so I think it only right you should be receiving the benefits. As EnyaM says I think you should put a claim in to receive the child benefit and then you would also be entitled to child maintenance.

Is the joint custody through a court order or is it an agreement you reached between you?

If not you will have to stop contact and let her take you to court.

Hi EnyaM, can I pick you up on this one - would it not be better for him to stop contact and immediately go for residence himself? Firstly, I would have thought that it would justify stopping contact and move towards a definite conclusion, and secondly, if she takes her time going to court, he will have to say why he thought he could simply stop contact.

Hi Actd

Sorry, I may have rightly or wrongly assumed that he already had RO. You are right and if I am wrong, teza should immediately stop contact, and go for residence himself.!

btw ..pick me up whenever you like! ROFL!

Yes you're right actd 🙂

i think the first course of action should be to put a claim in for the child benefit. She can hardly dispute this as she only has her at the weekends. Once thats sorted, I would then advise you to apply for a Residence Order.

Once you are in receipt of the child benefit you will be classed as the resident parent/parent with care and can put in a claim to the CSA for maintenance.

Hi there thanks to all your comments my daughter texted me her mothers new address when there last weekend .then got a call to go and get her anyway mother was unwell feel so much happier knowing where she is .As for the joint custardy it was through the courts .But ex change the agreement before it even started . I am looking into the benefits that should get .

....you have a Shared Residence Order then! As there are no safeguarding issues as such, its unlikely that you would be successful if you went back to court for full Residence as the courts are trying to move to this kind of shared arrangement. They think it will promote parents working together for the benefit of the child, rather than one parent being in control, as is often the case with handing full residence to one parent only!

As you have your daughter the majority of time, and your daughter remained in the marital home with you and the mother moved out, this makes you the parent with care and the one entitled to the benefits. They would include Child Benefit, Working Families Tax Credits and possibly some council tax allowance.

I'm so glad that you have resolved this situation with the help of your daughter, clever girl to text you the new address! I think she probably knows what she would like, and I'm sure that you sit down with her and discuss her wishes and feelings!

It would probably be helpful if you were to either have a meeting with the ex, or write to her to make it clear what the Court order means...it is an official document and she needs to abide by it. It isn't up to her alone to move the goalposts, decisions about your daughter have to be made jointly. The courts acknowledged that you were the main carer as she lives with you and is your responsibility through the week.

Best of luck 🙂