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Hiya all.. first off GREAT FORUM!! .. I just wanted some advice for the KAFUFFLE Ive gotten myself into
Sorry for my spelling and Blackberry Messenger language lol
like all of you I thought the mother of my Child was the one until i saw her true side.. after being together for 6 years we had a bad break up.. My son is now 3 and since he was 9months I have had him every single weekend and havent missed a single week..I am a student and have just finished University, at first I was paying my Ex £50 a week and buying Nappies and clothes, this went on for 2 months, I was then told that she does a lot of clubbing a buys bottles in a club at a 300% inflation cost (ridiculous) I confronted her about this and thought about it Why the helll would she need £50 PLUS BENEFITS per week
. We had many arguments and we amiccably decided that I will physically buy all food nappies and clothes and pay for holidays for him.
For the Past 12 Months I have bought all his groceries Clothes and Nappies
I have Kept alot of receipts that show that Every Monday Around the same time I will visit and Asda close by to her and bought all the same things including once or twice a months I bought Boxes of Nappies and Wipes in Bulk.
Alot of people are aware of our arrangement including the Nursery ( I had to sit with him for 2 days at the nursery and help him Settle in.
THEN...
I normally pick up my son on Friday Eveningins and return him on Monday Morning
3 Weeks ago friday I was en route to collect him via public transport, It then began to rain, I then decided to go home collect the car and come back, this made me 2 hours late and instead of picking him up at 6pm I arrived lates 8.30pm.
Before I arrived I texted my Ex 20 mins before telling her ill be 5 mins .. just so that she could get him ready so that Im not waiting in the house with a big crossair on my head for abuse which is what alwways happens when she doesnt get her way..
Undoubtedly I arrive and he did not have shoes on yet, She begins getting him ready and starts abusing me verbally... i then return the favour x10 .. she gets annoyed and tells me Im not taking him anymore.. then the police are called.
When they arrive im waiting outside calmly and she tells them she just wants me to leave her alone and go through the courts, I have no chouice but to leave... the next 3 weeks I try to contact her to collect him and we just go back and forth abusing each other ( NOT COOL)
THEN YESTERDAY I GET THE POLICE BANGING AT MY DOOR AND IM ARRESTED FOR COMMON ASSAULT AND HARRASMENT.. SHE changed her story the day before and said that I hit her over 2 and a half weeks after the incident. to which police were called and didn't even deem it worth taking my statement.
HOLES in her story
* She said she was scared and when i Hit her she shut up. But when she called the police I then called them after and asked the operator to just listen to her mouthing off while I stay calm.
* the fact that even though the police attended she didnt tell them that I touched her, then 3 weeks later All of a sudden she remembers I hit her.
* She confirmed in her statement the fact that I told her to " just shut up and get him ready"
Surely The statement "you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defense etc etc " Surely the court will discredit her story a little bit.
In short I was bailed and the police woman didnt seem to impressed by the situation as she said there were two elderly ladies with legitimate claims.
I have NO DOUBT this cannot be solved ammicably and will have to be settled by the courts but I am very confused about where to start.
I have just finished university, and Have just Started my Claims for job seekers Allowance as i dont expect to get a job until I get my certificates etc...
just wanted to get a bit of advice on what you guys think I should do. Next
Hi there
This seems to be another common story at with many dad's posting the same,
I think you will need to apply to court for a contact order to get this resolved, you could ask your ex to attend mediation first to see if this can avoided as it might speed things up.
If your not able to get mediation off the ground then you can would need to apply to court, there's a step by step guide to representing yourself self and applying for the contact order at the top of the legal section.
Were you charged with assault?
Darren
no not charged.. they saw right through her [censored]..
thanks fr responding by the way 🙂
If you weren't charged then I would ask her to attend mediation,
If that fails apply for a contact order through family court, you can represent yourself through the whole process.
Darren
Hi Creazer2k,
I would cease all direct contact with your ex and keep a record of all written communication. Yoji has written a great step-by-step guide to representing yourself, which you can find at the top of this forum.
You have the option of inviting her to mediation, but I suspect that she may well decline and site the fact that she doesn't feel safe around you. That doesn't mean that there's any substance to her allegations, but a mediation service won't usually involve themselves in a case where it has been alleged that any form of assault or harrassment has taken place, regardless of whether charges have been brought or not. In these circumstances a court won't order her into mediation either.
So, as you've probably already guessed, it's not uncommon for allegations such as these to be made as an attempt to tie your hands until your first court date, which can take up to two months.
Keep her at arms length. Keep everything in writing. Don't lose your cool. Keep a record of EVERYTHING!
Good luck!
FM '70
I would stress the bit about keeping your cool. Consider every action you take, and think 'how would this look if it was brought up in front of a court? - if you don't think it would look favourable, then it's not going to help you, and it's also not something your son will want to see.
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