Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I separated from my wife but continued living in the same house as I had concerns for my children. Over the next few months my concerns were well founded as her parenting became more and more negligent. I told her that I wanted a divorce and started negotiations about splitting the assets and custody. She started to provoke and manufacture situations so she could falsely allege domestic violence and abuse. I was advised to collate information and so began covert recording. She refuse to talk about assets and custody and her strategy was to ensure that she didn't want to split anything by alleging domestic violence. On one of the recordings I have her conspiring about how to get an NMO and that she has to be believe to be at risk. A month later she called the police alleging assault and although she didn't want the matter to go to court she was able to get the NMO without notice. I have clear evidence that she manufactured the whole incident in order to get an advantage in family court and not to split the assets (houses etc). My solicitor doesn't believe that I should disclose in court but I think I should.
Hi there
It's a bit of a contentious issue, it's at the judges discretion whether to allow it to be used as evidence. What are the reasons your solicitor gives for not wanting to use it? If the children have been recorded too, this may be a reason not to use it, but I suppose you could isolate the important section.
It might be bertter to transcribe it and let the court know it exists and ask if it can be used. There's more info about this in an article which you'll find in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section.
Solicitors says its against to ethics and also will make me look bad in court and weaken the case. I'm already thinking about pressing charges for pervertinf the course of justice by falsely allowing assault just to get me arrested so that she could get the NMO without notice.
I would be wary lf going down that route, partly because if you do, then you are diverting some of your attention away from the main issue, and also if they decide not to prosecute, then it looks as though they are agreeing with her, which will look worse for you.
It's a grey area, it can work to an advantage, but it can also have the opposite effect.
I think the best approach would be to transcribe the relevant parts and ask for that to be filed, let the court know you have the recordings and that they can request them if they so wish.
Perhaps your solicitor isn't aware of the Transparency Project, which concerns recording Social Workers. ...the tide is turning a little with respect to covert recording but it is in large part down to the individual judge on the day as to how it is perceived.
Here's the links to more info that you could share with your solicitor.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.