[Solved] COURT TRIAL

I would get some clarification on this toilet issues - sounds bizarre to me. Did they specifically say this is the reason contact is being stopped? Or were there other things?

You can look at the whole experience from so many different angles. We, of course, look at it from our own perspective and see just how unfair and random the whole affair is.

I disproved all of the allegations thrown at me. But my case didn't really start to make progress until I stopped thinking my perspective was the most important and that making sure my lying ex was punished was important.

Once I focused solely on the children and their needs - almost blinkering out everything else that wasn't related to that - things took a dramatic turn. It went my way.

Yes it was stopped because i took him to the loo.

Supervised contact your not allowed to be alone with kids at any stage, just wish they had said that so i new from the start.

You would assume they would have told you as they were there at the time. Did you argue about it? I mean did they say you can't take him and you ignored them? Or did they say nothing and just let you do it?

So, what were you supposed to do? let him pee himself and then be a called a bad father for not taking him to the loo looking after his needs?

If it’s supervised contact and the child needs the toilet I’m assuming the person supervising it should have also gone with you to the toilet or taken the child instead of you? Not being funny but you’d have all on getting an adult and a child in my toilet never mind two adults and a child….and i’d not trust a stranger in a toilet with my child that’s for certain in this day and age!

No, my sister was the supervising party so she should of taken him to the loo.

Social services never gave me any guidance at all as to what i could and couldn't do. There is also no printed set of rules for you to follow - your just suppose to know.!

Both my ex and SS keep referring back to the safety plan - i have never seen the safety plan so i asked for a copy..

The safety plan is between my Ex and SS so i cant see the safety plan with out my ex express permission - i cant contact my ex as she has a non-mol out stopping that contact !

Yet i am suppose to be following this plan...lol you could make this [censored] up really could you.

The system is full of holes and contradictions. Leaves Dads in the dark with no options or power to do anything !

I'm even more lost now - if your sister was supervising, how does anyone know about this in the first place?

Did your son tell you ex? If so she must have pretty much interrogated him which you should raise as a concern, It would hardly be natural for a four year old to go back to mum and say "Daddy took me to the toilet" - he's been prompted or pushed to say this.

Yes you got into in one , she water boarded my 4 year old son into a confession

I could of easily denied it but i had no idea i wasn't allowed to so hence i dropped my self in it.

Shes a mum , a women and has made allegations so there are no concerns with her, shes all good, .. i on the other hand ..might as well be satin.

Anyway in court on the 4th, i have a barrister , she has noting, so hopefully i can get so interim contact sorted.

I would certainly make the court aware of the ambiguity surrounding the toileting issue... and the fact that's there's a care plan that you are barred from seeing, but are expected to comply with!

Let's hope common sense prevails at the hearing and the court see this for what it is and moves your case and your contact forward.

All the best

update

Are well no surprises here .

The wonderful cafcass have made there first report and despite telling me they would go along with SS recommendation for home supervised contact they have decided no interim contact at all.

Can they actually say one thing and do another? Surely that cant be right?

Ex is now claiming DV - so those heated arguments over her cheating on me are now DV by me.

Will the court follow cafcass recommendation ?

How can cafcass and SS have such differing views?

Yes I am afraid Cafcass frequently say one thing and do the other and once the ex starts claiming DV they turn against the Dad in a heartbeat. It horrifies me that woman are allowed to claim DV with no evidence whatsoever and everyone believes them. Cafcass have a stupid “tool” that decides whether DV occurred. It’s bascially a set of simple questions that both parties are meant to answer. In my experience the ex was the only one questioned and of course the “tool”indicated DV had occurred because she lied. It’s likely the court will follow the Cafcass recommendations. Hang in there, the truth does come out eventually, it just takes a ridiculous amount of time and effort.

To be fair my ex has stated in the report she wants me to have supervised contact at pre arranged times.

I just dont why the cafcass officer said on the phone to me that they would follow SS recommendation and she actually said i will do my best to get as much contact as possible for you, then she recommends zero contact. [censored].

i have only just started on this path and i already feel like i lost.

This made me laugh too, The report said about the DV that it would have an impact on my sons sense of stability and security.... ok but cutting him off from his Dad he's seen every week for all his life wont...BS

Hi

Cafcass said exactly the same thing to my ex (complicated story, but I’m not the evil ex) the guardian assured him she would get contact reinstated ASAP, that the children needed a father etc etc. This however drove ex to up the stakes and make much more serious allegations that again got totally believed. Four years on ex has been totally exposed but the children all suffer emotional damage and his relationship with them is proving hard to restablish. Ex still has custody and is doing nothing the court ordered her to in order to promote him as their loving father. Don’t give up, just be aware it’s possibly going to be a long fight and things will happen that you will struggle to understand. I personally don’t see that courts are acting in the children’s best interests at all. Hearings are too far apart, reports take too long. Fathers are seen as the bad ones without any good cause. My ex had a very tough case, his ex was prepared to do anything to stop him seeing his children. She almost got him charged with something he didn’t do but she slipped up. Hopefully your ex is less troublesome.

Harli