[Solved] COURT TRIAL

When you're in the midst of it, it can often seem insurmountable, but we have many Dads that have gone through the process, feeling quite hopeless, but have ended with a good level of involvement in their children's lives.

The best advice has already been given to you... patience is your best friend and no matter how angry and let down you feel, don't ever let that show, rise above the pettiness and present as a calm and reasonable parent, keeping your child's well being at the heart of the process.

It can be a tortuous path, but there are people that care about you and your child's outcome and you've come to the right place to get some advice and support that hopefully will help you see it through.

All the best

My ex partner is in a similar situation. It’s taken 4 years and numerous hearings to get to the stage of supervised contact with his three small children. Despite having no criminal record and the police not charging him when ex made her ludicrous abuse allegations Cafcass and family court treated him as if he was guilty. The ex has finally been proven a liar and a bad mother who has caused her children emotional damage yet she’s allowed to keep custody. If they had listened to him in the first place and taken his concerns on board instead of labelling him an abusive monster those children wouldn’t be as damaged as they are now and neither would he be. Cafcass have a lot to answer for as does family court.

My advise. Get all the legal help you can afford. She will get legal aid, the non mol guarantees it. She will lie, Cafcass will believe her. Gather all the evidence you can, even if it seems insignificant it might be useful. Stay calm, don’t let her wind you up into doing anything that makes you look bad. Keep posting here because the advise is good.

I would say that your ex partners case is at the extreme end Harli, and we do have several members that have and are literally going through [censored] because the system has let them down, but it wouldn't be right not to balance that out with the fact that we also have some very good outcomes and the majority are successful.

In my opinion the Family Court sometimes falls down when the case is complex and has serious elements of parental alienation and implacable hostility... it's those cases that the judiciary struggle with.

Generally, with more straightforward cases, I think that there's a lack of continuity as far as outcomes are concerned, two very similar cases can have vastly different outcomes, depending on which court and judge is hearing the case.

Magistrates hearing a case can be lacking in legal knowledge and the will to handle awkward parties more firmly.

Hopefully find out about the next court date this week. Hoping its not a long wait i am desperate to get on with it.

Parental alienation i think i might be slightly guilty of this. 🙁

i always said i wouldn't hide the truth from my son about what my ex did , and that i wanted him to know that as he got older he understood that his mother was a liar , cheat and very manipulative, for his own safety more than anything.

Also if my son asked is mummy coming on holiday with us i would say no mummy doesnt like daddy any more or mummy has not been nice so she is not coming.

Will this bee seen as parental alienation?

Giving a young child this kind of information will be seen very negatively - and quite possibly as abusive.

Aside from violence / drink / drugs, parental conflict is one of the biggest issues in family court / child welfare.

You may say there is no conflict and your child doesn't witness arguments but by telling your child the "truth" you are giving them an up close and personal look at how much their parents are hurting each other.

Think of it like pornography, would it be right to give a copy of playboy to a five year old? Or even an 10 year old? Of course not, they are too young. Telling your child the "truth" is the same kind of abuse.

You may not want to hear this but I guarantee what I say here is spot on.