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ok guys sit back this is going to be epic
So i have a 4 year old son with my ex partner. We broke up 12 months ago after i found out she was seeing other guys behind my back.
I moved out and currently live back with my mum until i can get sorted.
My partner had 2 daughters to a previous relationship.
One of the daughters 11 months after i moved out made a claim to police that i sexually assaulted her.
First thing i new about it was police turning up seizing my computer and phone and the next day a non-mol came through too.
I have been interviewed by police, not arrested or bailed. I obviously denied all the claims against me. Zero evidence has been submitted against me.
i have no criminal record at all.
Non-mol was heard and then passed with out change today, i had solicitors she self rep.
I lodged a child application which it looks like now will go to a full court trial with her daughter been called to account.
This really surprised my ex.
Back story is my ex has had a contact order out on her previous partner with whom she had the 2 girls with, the father and 2 girls have no relationship now as he broke and finally gave up.
My ex was also married to a different partner but that ended in divorce.
All 3 partners have had police called to them or allegations made against them and she has a long history with social service and cafcass.
I have no history with either.
Child who made the claim against me has had therapy for eating disorders and counselling for other issues .
My ex is super controlling, very underhand and manipulative. She hates me having any control or influence over my son.
The tipping point was an argument about my sons passport for a trip i have booked. She with held it for months and just 3 weeks before the holiday the allegations came out of no where.
Sure you can join the dots up and see the picture.
i currently have no contact. Social service recommended supervised contact with my family , my ex has said no contact.
My ex has also contact my sister saying she doesn't want to fight at court and that she wants my mother, sister and me to have contact with my son.
So questions what happens in this trial?
Whats the worst that can happen? Whats the best?
What will cafcass do,? Am i on a hiding to nothing?
I am frighted to death i will be erased out of my sons life. My ex is doing everything possible to keep me out of his life.
We have a really good relationship and i love him to bits. All i want is quality time with my son and to be a good dad to him.
Thanks
It's not a trial, it's a process, a series of hearings over months or even years.
The first thing that will happen is that CAFCASS who are the Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service will call both you and the ex.
They will do police and local authority checks on you both. Primarily, their role at this stage is to highlight any safeguarding issues. The allegations made by your ex partners daughter will be seen as a risk until disproved. Having evidence you are innocent will help but this isn't cut and dried, you are going to have to work hard at this. Your solicitor in a case like this will likely cost anything from 10-20k to cover all hearings.
There is a lot of help here on this site and you have representation (although I am surprised you have not been given the full sp by the lawyer you are paying!!! Mostly they are not worth your time).
Your case will probably go something like this:
CAFCASS safeguarding letter will recommend no contact until the allegations are investigated.
At the first hearing, the Court will likely just order an S7 report from CAFCASS (google Section 7 Report for more info).
At the next hearing, depending on the S7 report, there may be a fact finding hearing ordered or there may be interim contact ordered - don't bank on this.
You may then have a Fact-Finding hearing where you and your ex will be cross examined by each others representatives. Given she now has the non-mol, she will get legal aid and will be represented.
Depending on the outcome of that hearing there may be a series of hearings whilst contact is introduced slowly.
In the end you should have a final hearing where a final order is issued saying where your son will live and who he will have contact with.
You are starting out at a real disadvantage with the non-mol and the allegations. If you can prove it is all malicious it will help you immeasurably in Court.
This arena is full of dishonesty and dirty tricks. The system can work well at times but like everything, there are good judges, bad judges, good courts, bad courts.
Sometimes it comes down to the luck of the draw.
Don't be cockey, be polite and respectful of everyone - your ex included. For the duration of this case, just imagine that the judge is sat or stood beside you every waking hour. They do have eyes and ears everywhere anyway.
Good luck - many of us have been through this and come out with decent contact. Some have failed and lost everything.
Thanks for the reply
Ex does not have legal aid, that was established at the non-mol.
The hearing is to establish if the allegations are true. To help inform the contact order.There is zero evidence other than the child's statement.
Both mother and child have a long past with social service and cafcass, Will this make any difference to the end result.?
My main worry is that burden of proof in civil court is lower than criminal court.
I have not committed any crime at all but i feel like the set up is now complete and i am been prepared for the chop.
On a side note my ex recently text a family member of mine saying she wanted both me and my sister / mother to have contact with my son. But her actions are to cut off all contact at every opportunity. how will this action be viewed?
Once the Court have the context and accept it (her past) you should be on your way to a decent order.
The non-mol is one of the gateway orders for legal aid. Also if the Court find that her allegations are true, she has proven abuse to secure legal aid too!
It's a nightmare and does not make sense. Your best course of action is to get your evidence clear and straight so you can feed it to your lawyer to use in Court. They will not do the legwork for you unfortunately so you will need to gather everything you can.
The mother consistently denying contact won't really be looked into until you have been cleared - until then, they will think she MAY be justified.
I've said before it's a lottery - and it is!
Stay calm and be reasonable at every opportunity - if she shows herself to be what you say she is and you show yourself to be what you say you are, everything SHOULD fall into place.
I've been in Court more times than I choose to remember - both on the receiving end and assisting others - there is a lot at stake. It's very easy to allow your own emotions to overcome you and give the other side exactly what they want ..... "see he is a total mess"....nasty all of it.
Sorry if I sound negative - I'm not - I am just battle weary..
Justdad thanks for the replys
[censored] 3 weeks ago i was just a normal dad, now i am a risk to my child and me been a dad has to be stopped at all costs!
Seriously you couldn't make this [censored] up.
I dont trust the systems in place to resolve this at all. I feel like my ex can say what ever she wants and everyone dance to her tune.
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