Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
yes its frustrating but there may be occasions in the future when you want to swap things round. I'm sure your daughter will be delighted that you're watching her swimming. Bank this one and hopefully when you want a change, she'll be accommodating. Its better all round if you can both be a bit flexible.
I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. It sounds like your ex is taking advantage of the court and manipulating the situation to get something that she wants. It is unfair to the children that their wishes aren't being taken into consideration. Unfortunately, it is difficult to appeal a court decision, and I understand your struggle. The best thing you can do is to continue to fight for what is best for your children and ensure that they are heard.
Following up on this post from a while ago.
Today my daughter who is 12 did not come for the contact as stipulated in our court order (Sunday nights at 5pm).
My ex has never wanted the Sunday nights, but the children have said they wish them to continue. However this week there had to be a slight change in timings due to my sons football and my ex has successfully manipulated my daughter and persuaded her a shopping trip would be more fun. When I try to speak to my ex her reply was that is not for me to contact her about arranging contact, I should speak to my daughter directly. This I strongly disagree with, my daughter is still only 12 and gets stuck between both parents and then withdraws from speaking about it.
Whilst I accept children will have their own voice more as they get older, she is being manipulated and constantly told certain negative things about coming to me and what amazing things she could be doing instead (eg shopping) and when I say this is unacceptable and we should stick to the order, she just tells me to arrange it with my daughter directly.
Wondered if anyone has advice? I feel my ex should ensure handover is done as per court order and if there has to be some change in timings, it is up to parents to agree,not drag kids into it which is stressful for them. But unfortunately my ex likes to make everything about coming to mine as a stressful experience for them.
Thanks!
@aj2016 hi. With your regular every other weekend arrangement, is that working ok, and do you collect child from school on Friday? It's unfortunate that child did not come over today.
You could try writing to her Solicitor, and ask them to remind their client to follow court order, and not to use child as a messenger.
You could apply to enforce order, but problem is child may have made up their mind and no longer want to see you on the alternate Sunday. In that scenario I don't think the courts will act, and say child is old enough to decide,.or that her wishes and feelings need to be respected. Perhaps you could give it a few weeks and see if situation improves.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.