Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information β open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you β or someone you know β are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi guys,
I have my first hearing in a week and I am shitting myself. Since submitting c100 my ex has called the police and made an allegation and it's about me being violent to her while we were in a relationship and her being scared and worried about the safety of our child. Since we broke she has allowed me to see our son twice a week for 7 hours each day.
Then she asked me to consent to her changing our son's name so our son has her surname instead of mine. I refused this and since then it's been a nightmare seeing my son. She cut contact for a month saying I had shouted at her during a handover, something completely made up.
She would not respond or answer my emails and I just submitted the c100. Since she has become aware of it, she has called the police to report child abuse that she says happened a year ago and this is why she is stopped contact. The matter got referred by the police to Social Services who came and interviewed me and found that there were no child safeguarding issues and closed the case.
The social worker came twice. The first time she was pretty happy about me and said I would not be hearing from them again. I then asked her to come again before she completed her report if ex allowed some contact to happen. Sure enough, the social worker wrote to her and said she didn't feel there safe guarding issues and that she felt contact should be resumed.
Ex wrote to me only offering to resume contact if I always had a friend with me and only for 5 hours once a week. Social worker came again and I have been able to see my son. The case is now closed and the social worker will have a report and recommendations ready for the court date. The one question I have is will a CAFCAS social worker also need to do investigations on the safety of the child even when the social have done and been satisfied that our son is safe and happy with me?
Court next week and I have been seeing my son once a week for four weeks. Will the court keep this going or take it away if she continues to say she is worried about his safety.
Apparently she is going to pursue this allegation in court. What can I expect court will do now?
Any advice on how to deal with this allegation in court? Will I hear from CAFCAS? I am worried it's getting so close and I have not heard. Will I know her position statement before court?
You really have nothing to worry about mate so don't fret, try not to get yourself into a tiz over it all, you're in a good position as her allegations have been disproven before you have even got to court so take a chill pill man π
This is only a directions hearing where the judge will instruct if furthur reports need to be done ect they might instruct you both to do a spips course, no need for a position statement, have a read of my sticky at the top of the legal eagle section about the first day in court, she will be able to make her allegations towards the end of the case but it sounds like they will be thrown out before it even gets that far if SS have said theres no issues then you're on to a winner π
The courts have seen all this BS before and they will ask why it wasnt reported at the time and at the end of the day they will be more concerned if you were a risk to your child so get your pecker up go in there cool calm and collected and fight for your flesh and blood don't worry about what the ex will or won't do just concentrate on yourself and do everything the courts ask you to do and you will be fine π
This has made my day. Thank you. I will report back. I am thrilled for your results man!
Thing is mate recently it has dawned on me that it is the law that every child has the right to have BOTH parents in their lives and the Judges and Caftwats stick to that like glue, It's becoming apparent that there is a set routine that you have to go through with the courts and as long as you stick with it jump through all the hoops tick all the boxes you WILL end up being part of your childs life no matter what the ex has to say about the situation.
I work with probation officers, ex convicts and some serious nasty bastards who have been up to all sorts and they get to see their children so if you've got no major convictions or a police record for child abuse then you will almost defo get decent worth while contact with your child, try not to worry to much and channel all your energy on making a good impression in courts put everything your ex has said is going to do or whatever to the back of your mind it honestly means jack [censored] at the end of the day I wish I knew what I know now life would of been so much less stressful for sure lol
Slim has given you some good advice there :). If your ex doesn't have a solicitor it's unlikely she will have prepared a Positions Statement or bothered to find out her responsibilities as a LIP. It's not mandatory for you to provide one either although it's helpful to have one prepared to give to the court on the day. The advantage of that is you make your position to the court quite clear but also have something to work from when you are asked to speak.
Sounds like your ex is following the pattern that many others do and like Slim says, the courts only take contact away with hard evidence not a bitter ex's ramblings.
Good luck π
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We donβt like to set βrulesβ, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.