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Hi all,
Firstly I am new here so please bear with me. I am after some advise but let me give you a brief outline of where I am at what I have done and where to go now.
Me and ex wife split up just over a year ago and she has not once allowed me to see our children (13 and 7). I had indirect contact with my daughter (7) after a battle with her via email she allowed me one half hour phone once per week, this was just the start I thought I would slowly get there. When I asked about speaking to my son I was given a clear no so I didn't push this, whenever I spoke to my daughter I would always ask her how he was and tell her to tell my son I love him and miss him so he knew I was thinking about him. Him being the elder of the 2 I have suspected for some time that she has been trying or even succeeded in alienating him from me. This indirect contact was fine for a few months then it became more and more erratic and my calls we're not getting answered or replied to. My ex has never spoke to me and apparently I was supposed to be the childish one. She has since stopped all my contact with my children and has said it was detrimental to their well being and upsetting for them, causing my daughter to mis behave. How is having a telephone call once a week to her father going to cause this? I fully believe that it would as i was answering the questions my daughter asked me, to my amazement thou my daughter knew way too much for a 7 y/o about what was going on. She kept asking me when are you going to take mum to court, fill out the papers, and so forth. I tried various times to speak to my ex about contact and got the same responses.... Go through a contact centre, go to mediation. I rang the contact centre got all the paperwork filled out sent it back to them they then contacted me and said they are waiting on her response and they have taken my application into consideration and decided it would be ok to use them even though I wasn't referred by s.s or the court. Now my ex didn't respond to this so her idea of using a contact centre she blew because she ignored it. I then went to a mediator filled out the forms went to the meeting. Gave all my details to them and my ex details. Had my 1st initial meeting and was told they would contact my ex to get her in for a meeting. Again ex didn't respond mediator sent letters rang her emailed her all of which I got copied in on. So now I am taking her to court and this is where I need advise.
I have filled out the c100 and sent it to the court with the mediation (fm1) filled out and completed I have a court date set for this month end. What do I need to do to prepare for this? I am representing myself as with paying the CSA (which I set up because I knew my ex would take the money for the children and wait a few months then report me to them to say I haven't been paying because that's how she works). And paying for my new accommodation I cannot afford a barrister or solicitor.
Hi there
Welcome to the forum, you have come to the right place as we have lots of members here that are self repping...it is doable.
The first hearing is called a directions hearing and sometimes you will not go in front of a judge but will see the court advisor. They will try and get you to reach agreement, but don't agree unless you are happy with the terms offered.
Has CAFCASS been involved to make a schedule 2 report for the court? You should have received a letter telling you about this when the court papers were returned to you. If not then a report may be asked for at the first hearing.
There's plenty of info in the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section and if there's anything you're not sure of please just ask.
You might also benefit from attending a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, you will get face to face advice and support and meet others in a similar situation. You can find details of the meetings in your area here
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support/local-branch-meetings.
You may find this factsheet helpful too.
www.justice.gov.uk/downloads/family-justice-reform/pd-12b-cap.pdf
Best of luck
I have a meeting with CAFCASS half an hour before my 1st hearing at the court which I have found to be strange. Thanks for the info and I will check out f4f to see if there is anything going on near me.
Hey dude sorry to hear about your situation, I'd say go for it on your own It all seems a little daunting at first but if you do your research it all will become clearer with time also keep posting and reading other stories on this site as it's ace I couldn't have got as far as I have without it.
Just be very careful what you say to cafcass as they hold so much weight in court, do not slag your ex of at all keep all communication 100% child focused I can't stress enough you've got to be so careful with them I found them to be the worst people to deal with in this whole process and the sooner they are no longer involved the better.
Your situation sounds so much like mine my ex has done exactly the same as yours and she will just dig her heels in even more mate and be prepared for the s**t to seriously hit the fan when It does got to court , check out my stick at the top of the legal eagle section about attending the directions hearing.
It sounds like you know what you're on with so you will be fine with the process and start building a court bundle bung in any evidence you have and it's handy to take with you at the hearings as you can refer to it whilst actually in court to quash allegations there and then also the court will know you mean business.
Good luck with it all mate π
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