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So I broken up with my ex partner back in January 2023 and we have 3 kids together
We've made arrangements for me to see the kids after the break up to where i went round to my ex's house and make their tea while she was there which ended up with us both arguing Infront of the kids and to her throwing a object at me to which I ended up leaving the house.
Over the weeks I asked if I could come round and take the kids out but she said no as she wants to be supervised by her ( I've never been any threat towards my kids) so I was like no as we will argue and it wont be fair on the kids seeing that as I don't want a hostel environment Infront of them.
So I said I will go to a contact centre if she feels that way so I did and I paid for it and she was like OK it will happen but my mum is going so I said that is fine. A few days later she said it has to be her that goes to the contact centre instead of her mum and I was like No, it is my time to spend time with the kids and even the contact centre said they prefer if the parent was not there especially when the kids are not in danger.
So I couple of weeks went by with me still asking to see the kids and her refusing to I got a random message of her saying can you have the kids this weekend because she going out and her mum and dad would not have them, which of course I said yes too. After the weekend we came up with arrangement where I have the kids every other weekend which I did have them again on my weekend that we arrange.
When it was due my weekend again we had a fall out and she refused for me to have the kids again so I didn't see them on the weekend I was meant to be, and then again on the other weekend which was father's day. So I asked her why we are not sticking the our arrangements and she was like because I want to keep them here with me
She allowed me to them on their birthdays but only for a couple of hours and then goes again your never seeing the kids again.
So I went to mediation and did MIAMS to see if we could make arrangements, which I had to pay £130 for but again she has refused so now I have got my C100 form to go to courts which is going to cost me again £232
The problem is I am struggling with money and I feel though I have tried everything to make arrangements to see my kids and she keeps refusing and again I have to pay out more money while she doesn't have to pay anything even though she is the one stopping me from seeing the kids.
I understand that I could get help if I am on low income but I cant, even though I am on low income but money comes out by child maintenance she left me in so much debt, I am in private rent which is sky high. I have gone without food just because I am struggling.
Of course I am going to pay for it as I want to see my kids but just means I cant pay some of my bills in the meantime.
Just don't know what else I can do or if there is help.
Also I don't know if my ex can get a solicitor because she is on benefits where I am not
Thanks for reading =]
hi,
sorry to hear this. this is all too familiar, where one parent exerts control and messes around with child arrangements. I think you did the right thing by making a c100 application. I don't think you need a solicitor. I have been through the system without one and help other dads go through it. It can be done with the right guidance. Feel free to get in touch if you need advice on this.
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