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Hi all, my relationship with my eldest(9) has hit an all time low. he lives 220miles away . he stopped coming down to stay over a few years ago, his choice ex not very helpful.
I counselling an option? has anyone done this. his mother is letting him make decisions I don't believe he is old enough to make. I am unable to discipline as if I say anything he will not speak to me . help
lugo
Hi all, my relationship with my eldest(9) has hit an all time low. he lives 220miles away . he stopped coming down to stay over a few years ago, his choice ex not very helpful.
he get upset when ever he wants something usually expensive and I say no or as for birthday give him part of the money as I cant afford it ,then wont speak or see me. im being held to ransom :boohoo:
I counselling an option? has anyone done this. his mother is letting him make decisions I don't believe he is old enough to make. I am unable to discipline as if I say anything he will not speak to me . help
lugo
Hey lugo, sorry to hear about your situation. Could you try speaking to his Mum about this or are things difficult between you? I notice you said she's not very helpful?
Would you consider trying to go to Mediation with her? I know that might be difficult considering the distance between you all.
Have a look at this blog, it might give you some answers, it's mainly about Parental Alienation (which might be in the background here) but you might find some of the posts useful. The author of the blog has also written an excellent book called 'The Guide for Separated Parents'.
Have tried mediation before and she wouldn't go. After one session. Have emailed trying to sort but was met with the responce- what ever sort it out your self. And no I did not say anything to antagonise her. I know it's only one side to story but she won't help or talk. Don't know what's next
What is the difference between child arrangement order and a contact order.
They are the same thing. The laws changed slightly on 22nd April this year (not that you would notice) and 'Contact Order' is now 'Child Arrangement Order'.....
Are you thinking this is the route you will have to take?
Looking to be my only option
Hi - am sorry to read such a sad post and all credit to you for sticking with it. It may be better to book cheap accommodation close to your son rather than have him make the journey down?
🙁 Sad when it comes to this. Don't despair though, loads of Dads on here are going through the process, there's loads of advice to be had on here too. If you don't want / can't afford a solicitor, you can self rep, it's not as daunting as you think.
In terms of legal advice, you can contact the CAB, Coram Children's Legal Centre has a helpline for free advice, Families Need Fathers also have a helpline, they also have support groups you can attend for advice and guidance. Most solicitors offer a free 30 minute consultation too.
I remember you said you had tried Mediation before? Was this recent? Due to the changes in April this year, Mediation is now mandatory before applying to the courts. You would need the Mediators to complete an FM1 for you that states your ex refused to attend or you could not reach agreement before you can submit the C100.
Good luck and ask as much as you like on the forum, everyone is lovely and helpful.....
Counselling is an option - it may be worth having a word with Relate.
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