[Solved] Contesting a Non Molestation Order, any Success?

...I can't think of too many that have been successful in quashing a non mol....however there are plenty that still manage contact with their kids regardless of having one.

You may be asked to take an undertaking and you can do this without accepting the allegations made against you.

Good luck

Hi bud.

My daughters mother took me to court back in august this year, in an attempt to have me served with a non molestation order (Occupation order), stating that I had been harassing her. The request was dismissed by the court, however, i did agree to a 4 month 'Undertaking' whereas my daughters mother and I would not contact each other for any reason other than contact. My daughters mother and her soliciotr argued that she wanted the non molestation order issued instead of an undertaking, but the judge would not issue it.

I represented myself and had to cross examine my daughters mother, So I got prepared nice and early to make my case clear..

My daughters mum even went as far as to have a MARAC referral issued as she had obviously told plenty of untrue tales regarding abuse, etc. However, we had no history of abuse, no police reports, or complaints made to the police. When I first saw the MARAC statement I nearly had a heart attack as the wording was extremely strong naming me as an 'offender' when I had in fact not taken part in any sort of abusive behaviour. I then contacted the IPCC (independent Police Complaints Commission) and stated my astonishment that this has been issued to me. They were extremely helpful and very effiient in dealing with the complaint, they then issued a statement to me stating that the police only submitted a 'high risk' MARAC for my daughters mum as the information had came from an outside source (either my daughters mum or someone acting on her behalf). The IPCC stated that they had been in contact with thr police and the MARAC had since been reviewed and she was no longer classed as high risk, and the police had no concerns regarding the allegations.

I believe taking the steps to contact the IPCC and the statement from them which I was able to read out in the court is what really saved me from it, because those reports could not make you sound any worse and made her appear as a victim deserving pity..

What she had also complained about was texts sent from myself asking 'how is my daughter..' But what she did not tell them was that I had taken my daughter to hospital multiple times for injuries and illnesses which she had picked up whilst in her mothers care. Basically, it is always left up to me when I pick her up to seek medical attention..

Hi J,

I successfully contested the non mol my ex made against me last month

Just like you I received it without notice and just like yours it was full of lies.

I gathered so much evidence, photos, bank statements, phone records direct from phone company, witness statements from mutual friends, family and even her own cousin.

She had no evidence at all, and I refused to take any kind of undertaking or anything what so ever, I didn't want her to have a reason not to communicate with me in regards to our child and an undertaking will give her the perfect excuse.

So on the day of the trial I turned up suited and booted with all my witnesses present and thick folder full of evidence.

Guess what! She didn't turn up! I would have been surprised if she did as she would have looked like a right fool in the trial, as my evidence was too strong!

The judge had one look then discharged the whole thing completely and I walked out a very happy man!

The key to successfully contesting a non mol is evidence evidence and evidence!

Gather as much as you can and by the time you submit it to court and she gets a copy, she probably won't turn up to trial too!

Scare her and her solicitor with evidence against every point she has made against you!

I'm here to help if you have any questions, good luck mate

I agree with craig, you have to be prepared.. Think about the allegations she is going to make and how you are going to contest them.

The Judge stated to both me and my daughters mother that we both have a child together so it is impossible not to be in contact.

The only reason he issued an 'undertaking' is because he believed that we both needed time to 'cool off' and let things 'settle'.

Hi Danjamw,

I dont mean to highjack this thread but Id be really interested in hearing more about your complaint to the IPCC regards the MARAC as my former did the same but it was referred on no evidence but the fact she was classed as vulnerable due to having had 2 strokes.

The fact there was no abuse or violence perpetrated by me and absoloutly no evidence doesnt seem to matter much when dealing with SS. They dont want to ackowledge that I called the Police last year as she assualted me in front of our children and that there is a Police incident stating that I called them as her and her step father turned up at the door when the children were with me.

Can you share anything on how you went to IPCC or dealt with this?

PM me if you like.

Regards,

Dave

Hi Dave,

More than happy to assist, and also share with everyone encase they end up in the same situation..

Quick scenario first.. Im packing my suitcase, ready to leave on vacation the next day, when I get a knock at the door from a court representative handing me court papers to appear at a hearing for a non molestation order. Upon opening the bundle of forms, I come across a MARAC report which was issued and signed off by an officer of Northumbria police. Needless to say it was a shocking read and pretty much ruined my vacation from that point onwards..

I dont know if you have read a MARAC report, but this one I had labelled me as an 'offender' and my daughters mother as a 'High risk' victim.. The report went on to say that she was in danger of 'potential homicide' by my hands!!! and only the most 'vulnerable' victims are classed as high risk on a MARAC. (I literally spent the first week of my vacation trying to get this sorted out as I felt physically sick and worried about what this was leading to.)

First I contacted the officer who had signed off the MARAC. I did get through to him, but this officer spoke to me as though i was the scum of the earth. He referred to me as an 'offender', told me he had no interest in discussing anything with me and that he would not be indulging in a conversation with me. Turns out this officer was a MARAC Chair person and clearly from his attitude was the knight in shining armour saving the women of the world from dirt bags like me.. There was nothing more to say but request the details of his superior, which I did and he seemed happy to give.

Second step was to contact the officers superior, who was a Chief Inspector of Northumbria Police, Which I will admit was far more amicable in speaking to me regarding the MARAC. Although he did not appear to know the 'ins and outs' of the report. He basically told me that if it was in fact based on false information then I should state this in court to the judge.. This wasnt very helpful as we all know when you get to court all you have is your word if you have no physical evidence. And this MARAC was swigned off by a police officer already, not to mention how serious the wording in the report was.

After my huge dissatisfaction with the police response that I got, I then thought it wise to take this further, which is why I looked up the IPCC (Independent Police Complaints Commission) online and followed their steps at making a complaint. I did this and by the next day I had a reply from one of its staff members. I really cant thank her enough just how efficient she was at following up my enquiry and speaking to the relevant people. She was extremely professional but also extremely understanding to how worried this report had made me. I spent the following day or two jumping on and off the sun bed (I was in Florida) checking for another update and also replying to her emails. Her final email which was the outcome to my enquiry was exactly what I needed to hear and also exactly what I needed to present to the court.

The MARAC report was reviewed. The police looked into past history and came up with the verdict that my daughters mum was no longer classed as 'high risk' and the police have no concerns regarding her safety at my hands.

This MARAC report was to be used in court by my daughters Mothers solicitors to beat me over the head with and have the non molestation order issued. If I had not taken these vital steps of enquiry and complaint I believe the outcome would have been very different, certainly not in my favour which it was by the end of the hearing when the case was dismissed.

Out of curiosity I wanted to know more about these MARAC reports so I contacted the body whom does the assessment. I asked for an assessment to be done on myself and the agreed to do it, I could not believe how easy it is to embellish and lie your way through the questions.. They ask questions such as: Has your ex been violent towards you in the past?, Are you in fear for your life?, Has your ex's actions caused you to suffer from depression or anxiety?, Do you often fear that they will come and get you?.. all sorts along those lines. And the outcome of the assessment is based off the answers you give..

Hope that all made sense to you guys..

Great to hear some success stories - I was begining to think that it was impossible.

I have just taken on the invaluable advice by you guys and sent an email with the PDF attachment of the complaint of me recieving a MARAC to the IPCC. The process is quiet easy as you just need to email them the PDF and send it to enquiries@ipcc.gsi.gov.uk

My situation is that I was accused of Domestic Violence of which I have been acquitted of, the MARAC report was done before the criminal hearing so I am hopeful that the basis of the MARAC report is mainly to do with the DV incident of which I was found not guilty - by default the report can be as "out dated."

I read this thread 18 months ago when I received my first application against me for a non-molestation orser and an occupation order - I thought the worst given the lack of any reponses so I thought that now I'm out the other end I'd at least post something for anyone in the same place I was.

Actually, having fought one application using a solicitor which got withdrawn, I fought a second appliction (yes, if you can hold a pencil the forms are free and it's a great way to harrass a man, because Women must be believed!)without a solictor and have just had that withdrawn.

My advice:

1) Assuming it's a malicious application (well you're reading this like I was and sometimes... just sometimes.. angry exes make things up!! I know - who'd think it!!) is DON'T waste money on a solicitor. If you can manage a business meeting without punching anyone, then you can talk to a judge - and who knows the facts better than you anyway? Do you need a watered-down version of everything via a solicitor who's hands are tied by the fact it's their job and they'll be back before the same judge every day. Represent yourself and you can say what you mean - might get 'disregarded' but the can't un-hear it.

2) Record ANY conversation with a malicious ex on your phone if they start making things up or threatening to call the police (discrete video even better) - they are told to do this on women's forums of damaged women and divorcees...read them : 'Make sure you call the police on him and get a crime reference number for court!!!!' - do what I did and wait till they've called the police and reported a version of the events then play back the facts when they come to ask you to leave the property - if there are kids involved, refuse to leave the property if your ex is calling the police un-neccessarilry (my spelling!) , they're not in a rational state of mind - rational people don't do that and shouldn't be in charge of children.

3) Stay calm and always take the high ground - when they decide they are going to go down this route without justification, they want to be a victim so badly! Be the neutral/nice person - judges HAVE seen it all before, the tears in court, the request for a screen in the court room (even though they spent breakfast screeching at you across the kitchen), .

In the end, I got a non-molestation order on my ex issued ex-parte - I included the spurious applications they had made as just part of the harassment against me. After 18 months, and 9 appearances in court I really couldn't give a [censored] about any of this stuff. Obviously your objective is not to let some bullshitting woman cry-wolf to get a house to themsleves, and you owe it to genuinely abused women to show these people up for what they are - stay cool, it can be done.

Just pointing out this thread is a few years old, so OP may not still be on here.

@craigmcd 

Hi there any chance you can run through the 1st part of the non molestation with me. I've pretty much made a draft of every allegation and I have evidence for 90% of it. I think I have to write a statement, but not sure how much I should write. Can you you help/ advise