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A bit of background
After an 12yr relationship and 2 wonderful kids, my wife had an affair, she was the absolute love of my life. We split, a few weeks later things got heated and I hit the guy she cheated on me with (1st time in my life i've raised my fists). SHE, not him, had me arrested that led to 5 months of bail conditions which she broke 3 months in as she was struggling emotionally. Only she gave evidence against me in court, he didn't turn up (she was forced/brought by the police to attend as she says she didn't want too) Not guilty verdicts on all 8 charges except 2 counts of common assault, non battery for scaring them both.
We then had 4 months of civil peace, sending time together, days and meals out, [censored] she even slept over here (nothing physical) etc
Throughout all of this mess we still maintained 50/50 custody of the children from start to recently.
At the end of September I noticed I was being treated differently, she was being short and refusing to spend time in my company. It turned out she was now "dating" a man off Tinder hence why when we spoke/saw each other she was starting to become hostile.
Out of the blue I found out there was a ex-parte non molestation order, prohibitive steps order and a live in order when I went to collect my children from school on my day with them. It was the headmistress who had to inform me (hugely embarrassing) that my children were not at school and that there was an order in place. I have not seen or had any contact with my children since which is absolutely breaking me, i might not be great at a lot of thing but i'm a [censored] good dad.
Now on to the legal stuff
Her statement is just a 24 page web of lies, shes accused me of all sorts, domestic abuse, physical harm, harassment and the horrific R word. My solicitor for what good she's been told me to not fight the non mol and focus on the children as I have more chance of seeing them if we "keep to my wife's good side" so I took her advice, didn't admit to anything but didn't fight it, but now my wife has completely cut me off from my children including no calls/texts to their own mobile. I now believe this to have been a bad decision by my solicitor and want to contest it, as i have gain nothing and lost a lot by doing so.
I can no longer afford my solicitor so am going to have to go it alone and want to contest the Non Molestation order, as I am also going it alone regarding the custody fight. I have requested copies of all police reports & statements and have got my witnesses/evidence ready but don't know how to go about filing a contested hearing and am struggling to find any relevant information on how, it's an absolute minefield.
Any information will be greatly appreciated.
Not sure i've seen anything regarding being able to contest a Non-Mol order once you've accepted it in court.
Best advice i could offer is to contact a local Families Need Fathers group and see if they have anyone better placed to give specific advice on this issue.
The FnF forum is good but you need to subscribe, think it's around £40 ish for the year, they have a section called ask a solicitor where solicitors only respond to questions not the general members of the forum.
Knowing what i know now of these i wouldn't even agree to an undertaking to the court in place of a Non-Mol without it being a Cross undertaking by the other party too
I'm in a similar position, ex party non molestation with occupation of my home in my sole name I only renovated this year, 30 odd lies in her statement and yes the magic *R* word. But my "better half" is dating a violent convicted [censored] offender, that commited a violent assault on my step dad in front of my children.
At the first hearing the judge offered me an undertaking, I refused as I'm innocent and believe im the better parent. My lawyer kept asking me am I sure? I said yes. My lawyer told me after the first hearing her impression of the judges words is I'll only have a 1% chance of winning. Fine I'll take it with both hands. I'd hate my self surrendering and if you read Jordan Peterson your brain would naturally go lower down the lobster hierarchy with lower serotonin.
I'm not some rich guy either with lots of money to waste on lawyers and barristers. I'm disabled with a bit of autism. I get £400 a month ESA my rent on my council house I refuse to surrender the tenacy to costs more, as I can't claim housing benefit as I'm not living there. To date I spent 2k on my lawyer and 2k on my barrister.
While my wife is rocking free lawyers from an immigration charity.
My final trial is in 2 weeks. I have an overflowing treasure chest of evidence against my wife and her own police disclosure is absolute gold for me. If I lose the bias is very real. But at least I know in the back of my brain I went down fighting.
A quick update
I can apply to the court for permission for an appeal on the grounds it was my counsels decision NOT MINE to accept the injunction.
On top of that I have now an ever growing list of evidence and witnesses (who are prepared to go to court).
I will be handing it in to court on Monday morning and as it's an appeal it has to be infront of a judge same day to decide on whether to allow it or not fingers crossed.
That’s great news! Everything crossed for you.
This might be useful to you...
Dialogue First in partnership with Dad.info are offering a free telephone consultation with a qualified family lawyer. Here's a link
www.dad.info/divorce-and-separation/maki...n-divorce-separation
It might be helpful to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, usually free, where you’ll meet others in a similar situation and receive direct support and advice. Here’s a link to their website where you’ll find details of meetings nationally, hopefully there will be one near you.
www.fnf.org.uk/help-and-support-2/local-branch-meetings
All the best
Best of luck today. Please do let us know how you get on!
Morning everyone
A bit of a flat day, court have confirmed that the permission to appeal can be as quick as 24hrs but as long as 120 days.
Cafcass have been in touch and are firmly weighted behind my wife, so much for impartiality. The FHYDA hearing is Wednesday. so i have to get this filed today/tomorrow for it to count.
I have somehow managed to get together 600 pages towards my appeal in 3 days. If the judge refuses my application I will be surprised to hear why.
I will keep you posted.
Was it a District Judge or Magistrates that this all happened with?
A word of advice.....600 pages is A LOT! Try to condense this down and pick out the most important pieces of evidence when you get chance to present it.
Hopefully you won't wait too long to hear about the appeal.
Cafcass can take what position they like, you will still have an opportunity to contest their position.
It was a district judge. Now it will go before a circuit Judge.
600 pages is 4x the total required (3 for court, 1 for the respondent). I did the full works and sent 4 of everything into court.
As my sister said better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Even if bits go in the bin the stuff that is actually essential is there.
All "bundles" have to be in the court by 4pm to be ready for the following day....3.47pm....phew.
This forum has been great reading, it has given me advice on what to do on Wednesday afternoon and I will take heed and listen. Hopefully truth and honesty prevails.
Hearing at court didn't go well today. She has again refused contact to my children but has agreed to supervised time, so at least I'll get time with then finally.
Cafcass were less than useless, they just gave in to her every demand. Unless it goes to a fact find or my appeal is successful her statement will never be questioned/cross examined. How is it possible that someone can do something that is so damaging and have no recourse to answer for their lies until it gets to the final time consuming stage.
Next scheduled hearing is on 21st Feb, this time away from my children is destroying me.
I did get news that I should be getting an answer on my appeal permission application by Tuesday next week. It will be in front of a judge at 8:30am tomorrow morning which is giving me hope that I can still fight for my kids with a possibility of success.
I still love (not in love) my wife but can't believe what's she's doing for the sake of a new boyfriend. All this damage and hurt towards me and more importantly the children it's just so very very upsetting.
Apologies I thought you meant you were intending to submit 600 pages of evidence, not a bundle!
Good luck with the appeal
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