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Well I'm in shock! The ex has had my phone number for nearly 2 weeks and I have had not one bit of grief or foul abuse off her and she has actually been very pleasant indeed!
All contact with her has been very business like and we have agreed on maintenance payments and agreed on lump sums on special occasions ect, I think she threw me a bit of a tester at xmas as she asked me yo buy clothes for my Daughter and Step daughter which I did and she was quite shocked at how well I done and she and the Girls loved there clothes, to be honest I loved shopping for them.
I still do not trust her in the slightest and will never forgive her being such a [censored] for the past 2 years since she told me she was pregnant but I tried a different approach with her after the final hearing and it seems to have been a great benefit. I would defo recommend swallowing a bit of pride and push the boat out once the proceedings are over to be nice to the ex, we were sort of prompted by the Judge to start working together for the sake of our Girls in the final hearing and it was a case of who makes the first move so I bit the bullet and broke the ice first.
Since the final hearing when they ordered no contact with my SD and no xmas contact with either girls my ex actually let my SD attend the contact centre with me and i had contact on xmas eve so she has defo started to thaw.
I had the penultimate contact session at the contact centre yesterday and now it moves to weekly contact from now on at her sisters house and my home in feb progressing to overnight stays and prolonged contact at the end of march.
We both arrived at the contact centre yesterday together and we met in the carpark and chatted for 15 mins or so, my Daughter was so much more happy it was plain to see that she is a lot more content now we are being civil to each other, I gave my girl some more clothes I had bought her in the sales which the ex was over the moon about and we went in the centre together and my girl took to me straight way when the ex left that was the first time there was no drama and I din't have to calm her down when mum left.
Contact went really well and little one fell asleep in my arms the ex came back and comment on how cute I looked with our daughter whilst also been full of smiles and being very pleasant, we spent another 10 mins chatting before she left and organised the next contact at her sisters next week.
I'm over the moon as I've 100% got my bond back with my girl now she will only come to me in the centre and at the ex sisters house I finally feel like a dad again it's ace.
I'm so pleased the courts are over 2014 absolutely destroyed me mentally physically and financially and I've only left my bed to go to work for the past 3 weeks I've never been so exhausted in my life but I am feeling back on form today.
Don't get me wrong like I say I don't trust my ex at all and I will take her straight back to the court if she messes me about I've kept my bundles and I'm updating them just in case I am keeping contact down to a minimum and only using texts so I've got a record of everything once bitten twice shy and all that.
It all complete baby steps but I'm so pleased everything is heading in the right direction finally π
So pleased for you Slim, you should be incredibly proud of were you have come too. Inspiration you have given to so many of us is wonderful. I'm hopefully on the next rung of the journey, ive gave an inch and probably gained a foot. Like you I couldn't ever trust her, how can you? that's what I find so hard to accept and understand that people will use there own children in some way to try to punish there ex partners. Hope your not going to leave us now things are getting sorted, i'm selfish, still need you, don't need to hope I know you your daughter and step daughter will have a wonderful life ahead. π π π
Hahaha you won't be getting rid of me that easily trust me π Like I said I don't trust her and I've got a feeling court isn't over yet but I'm armed willing and able to take her straight back if need be, The injustice of the family courts gets my goat and I hate seeing dads in that lost world where they get stopped from seeing their children so I'll be here helping them out, I literally wouldn't be here if it wasn't for this site so I'll be sticking around to put a little back for sure π
You are a star Slim and I had every faith in you, when I think of how far you've come I'm so proud of you. Bigger picture she really didnt stand a chance and now with your charm offensive it's game set and match!
...it's the members that make this site the haven that it is! There were times a while ago that I was on here constantly but now with the likes of Slim and 1626, and you too Greyling I feel I can kick back...
Of course I must mention the sterling work that our Moderators put in too...thanks guys!
NJ if it wasn't for your help in the first place, I would never have got my partner through his proceedings nor done my training so thank you.
Slim, NJ is spot on, you've done amazing and inspire so many other Dads on here who are struggling. π
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