[Solved] Contact to Shared Residency / Care

I don't have experience of this, my only question is whether, in going to court, your ex might try to reduce your contact further to spite your court application?

Hi ACTD,

Yes she will try to reduce my contact but I dont see grounds for that.

What grounds might she try this?

Regards,

Dave

Spite, pure and simple - and a flimsy excuse to justify it.

Here's my own experience, having had shared residency for the past 14 months;

In my case, she decided to become a 'jahovah's witness', so kidnapped the children (4 of - 9, 5, 5 and 3 at the time) out of the house, went to SS and claimed DV (duh ...)

By the time I located them and proven there was no DV, I got contact every Sunday for 4 hours, meantime the case was being looked at.

The S7 report was a shambles, with the so-called 'officer' siding with her; report full of contradictions. Report recommended 7 days/month shared residence, which the judge in the end ordered to be every other weekend + half school holidays.

Since then, no matter the amount of concerns I raised regarding the mental and physical pressure, welfare, education and other issues, no one wanted to listen.

Finally, she tried desperately to disrupt our holiday travel, leaving me with a legal bill of £4,000 to obtain the passports back from her.

Notice, all the above, did not constitute grounds, no matter whose advice I sought.

Then, a glimpse of hope: beginning of this school term, she changed the children's school without notice, despite she was in court with me two days before the start of term. Remained completely quiet about it. Her twisted beliefs are also causing her to prevent my eldest son (now 10), who's asthmatic, from taking his medication. she is also neglecting his educational needs. He wants to live with me. Now pressurising his younger siblings and brain-washing them against me, but that's by the by.

I am now applying for sole residence, and the advice from my barrister is as follows:

1. We do have grounds that she cannot be trusted, hence the application
2. CAFCAS will talk to the eldest, being 10, to ascertain his views, which will be taken into consideration
3. The mental harm and indoctrination issue is a no-goer. The old cliché of introducing the children to all beliefs, blah, blah de blah
4. We will probably lose the sole residence application, but more than likely end up with residence for the eldest with me and more contact time with the girls

In conclusion, and having been experiencing the closest thing to taking your own guts out without anaesthesia, what I would say to you is go for it. Let me say it again: go for it. Be relentless. If what it takes is a hundred applications, then do it, and if what's needed is more on top, then go for that too.

Women have for far too long gotten away with abusing the system backed by lobbyists, us fellows not challenging the status quo and not exposing the massive injustice taking place - for good reason too: again, for the above reasons, all a woman has to make is an allegation, and she's guaranteed legal rep + the whole PC establishment walking on egg shells around her lest they get thought of as anti-feminist (Bah Humbug !!)

I wish you luck, in every sense of the word. Keep at it.

Thanks Enkido!

Your points are interesting and I will remember them as I will be back in court by early next year.

My former has been proven to lie but SS dont really want to follow up and I had a huge ding dong on the telephone with the "CAFCASS Officer" which is just a local SW. I told him Im unhappy with the way he is dealing with the Family Assistance Order as he is not managing it the way CAFCASS would.

It does seem like you have to just keep banging away at it but gee whizz does it get you down at times.

Thanks for your good luck wishes I feeel like I need it ad good luck to you Sir.

Regards,

Dave

Emotional speech Enkido!

Almost brought a tear to my eye, because that is exactly what I am going to do!

I am going to fight all the way! Enough is enough! These woman are getting away with far too much!

I was in court today and my ex had the cheek to say she does not want me to have any contact with my child whatsoever!

On the basis I am a violent monster and keep criminal friends and she doesn't want my daughter exposed to that.

I have no violent/assault convictions, arrests or even cautions, there has been no police call outs, no medical records nothing.
No evidence that I keep criminal friends.

But CAFCASS side with her despite all the evidence I place in front of the b*t*ch and recommend I have indirect contact only! Not even supervised!! I have been placed in the same category as a murderer or pedophile! All because of the nonsense that came from my ex's mouth! No evidence at all!

What is this family law system really about??

Thanks for the sentiments craigmcd. Strength in sharing I guess 🙂

My advise to you would be to make a complaint against CAFCAS, as well as go with your own C100 application to the court, to gain residence of your child. This is what I'm doing to increase and solidify my contact.

Another piece of advice that worked for me: get the best legal advice you can afford. Going it alone might be much cheaper, but believe me you're the one losing out. I was out of work at the time, due to the bomb that she set off in my life. I had had to sell my house to be able to afford legal rep, and it did pay off. Things are much better now financially, even though I'm spending every penny I'm earning on legal rep, but you have to make a choice: either that, or you're snookered both by her and the corrupt establishment supporting her

Moral of the story: if you're going to fight, make every blow count. Otherwise, simply walk away and save yourself the heartache.

Important Post Script: Opinions and experiences uttered here are strictly my own. I have no legal or otherwise appropriate qualification to provide binding advice.

All the best going forward DaveR. Just keep at it; that's what I'm doing. It will take you a long time, but keep banging, believe it will happen and it will.