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My ex is playing a nasty little game, using my girls as always, to the point where they don't want to come as they are worried i may be cross with one of them, which could not be further from the truth and i have even spoken to them about it and reassured them.
Yet the ex has insinuated in letters to me, my solicitor and even my parents, about my volatile behaviour, fear the girls have and even banning me from approaching her house. All of which is groundless but she has my 7 year old daughter saying that she is worried about coming to see me as she feels i will be cross with her and does not know what i am going to do.
she has made reference to social Services, as though she has or will be in contact with them, i have checked and she has not to date, although did a few years ago only for a report to be done against her claim of abuse.
she is now saying that there is no problem with having the girls, yet i am worried as every time the girls have gone home their mother has always kicked up and threatened something over nothing and i wish for this to stop.
I postponed visits for the short term with a view of reinitiating when my parents are back in the country so that we can have someone with us when the girls are here to safeguard us against any false accusation, to which she is now using against me saying there is no need for this.
I am sick of the situation i find myself in and the impact it has on my partner and possible impact on the 4 kids we have living with us as any threat, even unsubstantiated could lead to matters bringing not only my kids with the ex into the situation but also my 2 kids with my current partner and her 2 from previous.
If i was to go for a contact order and my ex appealed against it, albeit she is telling everyone that she strongly supports contact, yet continually undermines it and alienates me with the girls proving to us she does not. I assume the court would order CAFCAS to get involved, at whose cost?
If CAFCAS were to interview my 7 year old daughter and she says that she is worried about coming here, my ex says i am volatile, again all of which is groundless, what then???? Do not only my girls with the ex but teh other 4 children get dragged into some terrible ordeal and interviews from CAFCAS, the kids in my house are 9,4,2 and 6 months.
What then, you hear all the time that CAFCAS are out for the dad, to protect the mothers, sorry, kids, whatever, what about my current parnter, the mother of my other 2 kids and the kids themselves, what happens there based on the groundless actions and terrible sayings of some twisted bitter woman who is set out to segregate me from my 2 daughters i had with her???
I look forward to any comments..
Cheers
Mark
Hi Mark
I would seriously consider applying for a contact order, and asking for supervised contact initially, with a timetable in the order to move away from supervised over a few months.
Normally, supervised contact is put in place where there might be concerns for the safety of the children, but in your case, I'm suggesting it partly because it will provide you with a good degree of protection from false allegations, and partly because it's supervised, you can tell your daughter that there's no reason to be afraid (I know there isn't but it's her perception from from what your ex is telling her) as there will be someone looking out for her at all times - this will allow her to build up her confidence over time to the point where she will know that you are not angry or annoyed with her. You can explain to the court why you are asking for supervised contact, and it would be much harder for your ex to argue against it.
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