[Solved] Contact court and general help

Hello update my ex accepted mediation she gets it free I.dont but I get first session free just some.advice what's best to do in mediation what happens and how should I act I'm new to all this it's the first time we've spoke in 4 years so how should it go ect what happens and if I.cant afford anymore or if I think it's going nowhere what do I do. Thanks

I e responded to your other post on the same subject.

Hi mojo I feel so confused and upset I feel as if because ihavnt seen.my.child atall in a year and half since she was 4half she won't even care about me she's been around my family all happy. I don't speak to aby of my family atall haven't in years but I feel as if there all happy together in photos ect then there's just me and she won't want to see me or care. How is a six year old different to a 4half I feel so upset about it all would she even gain anything having just me in her life

Hi mojo I have my.first contact session this Saturday with her brother being there sues writing a proposal the main issue is I suggested I pick my child.up school Friday and drop baxk.monday which completely gets rid of the need of us being face to face. Bur through messages she's pretty adamant she wants face to face she keeps saying the past is the past ect but shes caused he'll for 5 years and I keep saying I don't want face to face.

She keeps saying she wants unity for our daughter ect but it's to late to now suddenly be all friendly as in the past she's caused so much problems even with our youngest with court she got involved and tried to.make us loose her!

I've said term time school idea every two weeks and non term time I'll do face to face for our child sake so she can see it but that it all

My main issue is if she doesn't budge and I go to court will they look at the issue that it's not been easy and it's easier for non direct as she's paintin a lovely picture it'll all be good she's grown up ect but I physically couldn't put up with her every week or two weeks I know wed argue in the end.

So if I went court in the end could.i ask for non direct handovers without my ex being there

I am.worried about her being in my life again as we've only just got our life baxk to normal and got our youngest back after court and my ex will stir thinga call ss ect so I'd rather not see her but I want to.see my daughter

Should I go contact with my daughter build it up.regardless and if she doesn't budge then just proceed ect

Thanks mojo

I've made a response to your questions on your other post, it's better not to post the same question on two separate threads as it can be confusing.

Hi mojo just a quick update been having contact with my child supervised through her brother at the moment and it's going very well happy to see me asks to come back ect and also we've sent off all court forums now for arrangements order just awaiting a reply

Found out a few issues today that my daughter is having counciling because she's quite bad as my ex partners ex boyfriend was doing dv and abusive in front of her and stalking her.

It's worrying but atleast bow it's all moving along and she's back in my life thanks for your help

Hi there

I'm glad things are progressing well for you and your child, at least the ex's ex is no longer on the scene and your daughter is getting help... and I'm sure having you back in her life is helping her too.

If you need anything further when you get to court, don't hesitate to ask. Thanks for the update.

All the best

Hi mojo got court forums back today they have booked a court date. I thought you didn't have to go court if you agree on the terms ect? And Said cafcass will write a report. Is this normal if your going and agree on pretty much everything we have a plan already wrote up ect so what will happen at court and can they basically refuse it all

The court has an obligation to follow due process, and this is obviously stressing because it introduces uncertainty, but I think your best bet is to remain calm, and accept the process. The fact you and the ex agree and want to do things by consent is a big plus and it's the kind of thing any judge/magistrate would prefer.

I would suggest you try to stay positive throughout it, especially during the cafcass interview. Talk only about the child and the things you wish to do together, explain the good moments you have had together and the good ones still to come, and avoid talking about the ex. you will be fine, most of us would give anything to have an ex who is willing to do things by consent 🙂

Thankyou for your response I'm in a lucky position with this and it has shocked me as I was prepared for a long fight I was just not sure if there is any need for court if both parents agree and have a plan wrote up.? It's.moving on to unsupervised contact next week and would of had atleast 4 sessions by then. Can cafcass judge ect go against all we've done and basically say no? Seems abit confusing when both party's agree and just want it stamped really lol thankyou for your reply

I only know from the things I've read, perhaps someone like Yoda or Mojo who have been exposed to more cases can share their opinion. my perception is that while a judge/magistrates could theoretically go against what the parents had agreed, in practice that is very unlikely, so I wouldn't worry about it too much, better to focus on making the most of the time you are spending with your daughter so that things continue progressing nicely along.

If parents can agree, a court or cafcass would be very unlikely to go against what you have sorted between yourselves.

The bigger concern would be whether they would be willing to put what you have agreed in to an order. If you and your ex both want an order as it would leave things clear for all of you, then they are more likely to consider it. If she doesn't want an order and you do, you will need to tell the court why you think there should be one.

For example, you could say that whilst contact is going well now, due to the history of the matter and contact being stopped, you think an order is necessary to prevent this happening again.

Best of luck