[Solved] Contact court and general help

Hi there

It's really difficult to predict outcomes, every judge has a different way of dealing with cases, some are more pro active than others.

You are taking the correct steps now to start the process, mediation is mandatory before a court application can be made, sometimes mediation will help you both to reach agreement, but if not, the mediator will need to sign the form to tell the court that mediation hasn't worked.

Whilst there is no fixed level of contact, the general schedule that is the most common is alternate weekends and a midweek visit, extra time during school holidays and shared Christmas and birthdays.

As you haven't had contact for over a year, contact is likely to start in a contact centre, but once you and your child are comfortable together it will be moved out into the community, it's a good idea to work on a planned schedule to build it up slowly, as it shows you are thoughtful to your child's needs.

There are some videos in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section that show you what to expect in court, and there's lots of info about the process there too. If you have any further questions, please don't hesitate to ask and we will do our best to advise and support you.

All the best

Thankyou very much for replying

My plan was six weeks in a supervised contact centre I found every Saturday it's six miles from my ex home and she said it's to far

After six weeks I propose a mutal meeting place in her area which her parents will do handovers to avoid any arguments and that would be unsupervised all day then return back to parents then after six more weeks I propose Friday collection from school and return following day

Would you say that's reasonable and in a OK time schedule

I moved the unsupervised to her location due to the fact she said it's to far and the contact centre only do a max of six sessions so it won't be forever

Do you think I will get some sort of contact with my daughter regardless if worst is supervised only because I miss her so much and would really want anything

Also would the fact I had shared contact for 4half years go in my favour and would our recent court battle with our youngest go against us atall

Once again thanks alot

Hi there

I think that sounds like a fairly reasonable plan, I'm sure it won't take long for you and your daughter to reestablish your bond, I'm quite sure she won't have forgotten you are her dad.

The court usually take a cautious approach where there has been allegations or any history of welfare concerns, so they will most likely want to look at what happened when contact stopped, the fact that you were found innocent will hopefully go in your favour and I would think that once the court are sure there is no risk to your child, they should agree to contact restarting, which is likely to be in a contact centre to begin with.

The family court will always want to facilitate contact with both parents, as long as it's safe to do so, it's a child's right to have both parents involved in their lives. The fact that you have cared for your child and been a father to her for most of her life will be considered I'm sure, what is most important is moving things forward and once a court is sure the child is safe they will work to that end.

All the best

Brilliant thankyou very much

Hi mojo sorry to pester with another question

Do you think I will get contact regardless even if it's just supervised like could I get no contact atall or will / should I get something I only ask as I miss her so much and this process has given me hope as previously I had planned on waiting till she's older as I had no hope left

Also I no she will.propose her family supervise which will make our daughter uneasy and also will affect our quality time as we do not get along my proposal is a contact centre I've found. Would the court listen to this as her family wouldn't be quality time and the centre take notes also

And another thing if she decides to be awkward and throw accusations or brings up my old Court case will it be up to me to provide evidence or can the court just look on the system because she reported me a few times in the past for my daughter saying nipple and [censored] and painting her nails then they investigated dropped the case and she willingly gave her back

Also I was on anti depressants for 4 years I still had my child ect but pretty much off them now just general low low dosage to help sleep sometimes will this stop me having my child

Sorry for the questions I'm just really curious about all this

It's impossible to predict what will happen, but as I said before, where there are allegations, or a history of involvement from police or social services, the court may want to check everything out before allowing contact to start, even if it starts in a contact centre.

You may have to be patient for a time, whilst they gather more information and reports are made. CAFCASS have the authority to get information from all of the agencies that have been involved with your child previously and this will be made available to the court.

If your ex suggests that her family are used to facilitate contact and you are unhappy with this, you can make your own suggestion to use a contact centre, at the end of the day it will be up to the court to decide, but they will listen to your reasons and take them into account.

The fact that you are on medication shouldn't stop you from having contact, but they may ask for more information from your GP.

try not to overthink everything, it's better to concentrate on each step and try not to think to far ahead.

All the best

Hi mojo I got a letter from.my ex today she didn't use a solicitor I'm guessing she's used all her money up trying to stop me before

But she basically said she hasn't been told about the judgment of our case so is cautious about letting me having contact she states she's requested information about it using a random things and it takes 40 days to get it which I don't know what but until she knows the outcome of the judgment she's unsure.

My solicitor awhile back said she doesn't and shouldn't need the judgement due to its nothing to do with her and as far as I'm aware the sw who was meant to tell her there's no issues I have my child back ect decided to quit.

There are no safeguarding issues as I have my child and I have a enhanced dbs check so surely if there was any issues atall I wouldn't have that

She also states in the letter I can have contact via a family member so it sorta contradicts itself once again and she also states Mt contact centre I proposed now is not safe for my child oand she needs. A familar face Incase she gets upset so now it's gone from being to far to this excuse

What would you recommend should I agree to contact via a member and see if she goes through with it and still proceed via mediation ect or refuse

For expediency I would share the basic judgement with her, it's worth it to avoid court in my opinion, you don't have to go into detail and if she says that's all she requires to feel reassured and let contact resume, then its a no brainier really. Give her the reassurances she asks for and ask for more detail about how the contact with her family member would work, perhaps suggest a soft play area to begin with and ask that the family member sits away to give your child a chance to settle with you.

You can still agree to this and continue you with the process of mediation, in fact if she is mellowing, mediation might be a good idea to try and get some proper agreement in place...it's worth a try.

OK thank-you I'm unsure if me telling her would make her trust.its the truth ect but I'll respond via letter and say this also the solicitors said she didn't need to no the judgement just me having my child back proves there's.no safeguarding really. I will pursue it more and keep uninformed thanks mo jo

Yes but as you say, the social worker that was supposed to tell her quit, which complicated matters. Let her know that your solicitor had told you that you didn't have to share the judgement with her and the fact that you had your child back should be enough, but say that if it will help her to move forward and restart contact you have decided to share it with her as a gesture of good will.

Hi yeah we've sent a full letter explaining all matters and I proposed I will do contact with her family until it builds up then progress forward as I want her meeting her half sister I have been as mature as possible and extremely reasonable so the ball is bow in her court there isn't much more I could put forward really. Thanks for replying