[Solved] Contact and Enforcement

She addressed the Letter to the Court..my Son just got a Copy

I gather the court will have received a copy..

She thinks that even though she was told in no uncertain terms in court that the order was in force, and she MUST obey it, she can just write to say she doesn't want to, and that her unjustified accusations (which have already been investigated and dismissed) will excuse her.

I think she is a pathological liar and starts to believe her own lies, and twists things round insider her head to suit herself. She even referred to my son in her letter as the child's "biological father" - what more proof could she supply that she is hostile to any relationship between father and son, and shows that she would like to airbrush him out of their lives.

The letter said that she did not feel that unsupervised contact was appropriate, and she would only allow supervised contact. We have been there before - the court ordered supervised contact 5 months ago - she grabbed their son and left 45 minutes into a 2 hour session and ignored the rest of the sessions.

It staggers me how she thinks that the world should warp itself around her, and only her opinion counts for anything. The annoying thing is that she is so good at playing the victim in court that so far she has been given the benefit of the doubt to great lengths.

I think it would be appropriate to respond to her letter as she has filed it with the court. You would need to point out that the allegations she is making have already been addressed by the court and that she is now in breach of the interim contact order. Ask for urgent new directions and for the case to be bought forward in light of her stance.

Thanks for the suggestion of responding to the letter., that's got us thinking!

Its a full contact order, not an interim that she's breaking.

After taking through things as a family we think it is a good time for my son to get a solicitor involved again as hopefully this should be near the end of the process (and so not so hugely expensive!). He stopped his solicitors previous involvement when his ex stopped turning up to court as it was costing a small fortune...

What we think we will do is:

Get the solicitor to respond to his ex's letter (to her and copy to court - and let the courts know he is again represented).

This should let his ex know that he is very serious about getting contact, and underline that this is not going to simply go away.

Then the solicitor will represent him in court - hopefully the solicitor can professionally counter her "poor little lost me" act,
and show that her breaches of the court order have been deliberate and fully calculated, and not some misunderstanding as his ex would no doubt like to portray.

We hope that this should prompt the court to a) dispense a suitable enforcement penalty, and b) convince her that any future breaches will bring more serious consequences.

I'm hoping that the solicitor will find a suitable way to indicate to the court (and his ex) that if there are future breaches of the contact order that my son is willing to go ahead and apply for sole residency as the only way to guarantee that contact is maintained.

I'm hoping that such a prospect might persuade her to finally admit defeat and obey the contact order...

My ex kept refusing to accept court orders and kept breaking them as and when she felt like it….then would come out with some rubbish / accusations all very easy to defend as she’d been stupid enough to put them in writing contradicting her earlier statements etc…
Anyway one breach of contact I’d given her a third and final chance (3 strike rule) and contacted the court to ask them to bring a review hearing forward from 3mths away…..the judge in our case found a slot at a different N*********shire court house within two weeks from me asking them and instructed she attend saying failure to do so would result in her being found in contempt of court and an order being made in her absence.

If she’s continually breaking orders as she sees fit you need the enforcement order to have strict penalties to show her she cannot go against the courts.

I asked the judge to put penalty of imprisonment if she failed to keep to their order as a fine would take money from my childs pocket….community service (unpaid work) would not be a tough enough warning for someone who has broken ever court order put in place and said (in writing!) that no judge or court would make her do what she didn’t want to!

I’d be tempted to save the money for if you need to get an enforced order’s penalties enforced! That may need specific legal terminology and knowhow as I found out last year when applying for committal to prison order.

Deed done..Seeing as a parent i have had to sit back and watch her emotionally try and destroy our son...we have taken a huge step and involved a Barrister...

He comes with very good case references so hopefully he will blow her out the Water once and for all...

We hope that he will put the fear of God into her so much, so that she will never even think to risk ending back up in Court .

only question we have is..will she need to be informed My Son is yet again Legally Represented?

Hi there...
good for you....yes, it is soul destroying watching your son being ripped to shreds...I know how you feel.

Your barrister may well write to her to inform her that he is representing your son....but I am not sure if
that's a legal requirement, although she will find out on the day of the next hearing.

Take care
Kirsten

Getting there...finally!

Directions hearing before enforcement was today.

My son's ex turned up this time - two hearings in succession she has actually attended - a new record.

As it was only a directions hearing it was just the two concerned parties and the legal advisor.

She turned up with new baby in tow and tried the poor me - I have a new baby sympathy card - this received short shrift, the legal advisor we had this time had been involved previously and knew the case history and was familiar with her attempts at manipulation.

She presented her long rambling series of spurious accusations and my son sat quietly and let her tie herself up in knots.
The legal advisor had to keep reminding her that it was not about her but their son, and was reminded numerous times that a court order was in place and my son had the same rights pertaining to their son as she did.

When she tried to wriggle on the question of had she broken the court order she was asked straight out - "have you or have you not obeyed the court order that is in place" to which she had to reply no.

So she has finally admitted to breaking the court order in court as well as putting it in writing to the court twice that she will not obey the court order.

The matter has now been listed for a full days hearing in three weeks to cover both the enforcement of the existing order as well as setting a new child arrangements order to specify exactly how the time is to be split as my son's ex cannot be trusted to follow any reasonable course - so it will all have to be contained in the order.

My son's ex tried to wriggle on the court date as said she couldn't do any time in the next month - to be once again reminded that it wasn't about her - she was advised she had three weeks and to look for public transport if necessary! She also tried to get out of a full day session as she was breastfeeding - this didn't wash either as she was told that breaks could be arranged, and they would break for lunch and so the full day hearing is booked.

My son will now be represented by a solicitor and we have arranged for a barrister for the final hearing in three weeks to hopefully ensure that this is the end of the matter.

If we can push for a suspended sentence as the enforcement via the solicitor and barrister at the next (and hopefully final) hearing that has got to be finally enough to get her to see sense and finally obey the court order!

If not - then she risks prison and automatic transfer of residency...

It looks as if whether my son's ex turns up at the next hearing or not the enforcement should be granted and if the penalty is severe enough it will do the trick - finally.

Its been a long road - but hopefully we are nearing the end.

Anyone out there reading this and going through the same uphill slog - take heart - eventually the courts do get there and want to bring matters to a close, the legal adviser today even said "this has gone on long enough". So keep fighting!!

With the changes to the family courts and the child arrangement orders it looks as if this area of the legal process is under scrutiny and there does now seem to be a push to get these sort of cases dealt with more quickly and fairly.