[Solved] Contact and Enforcement

Wow that's shocking! I wonder how these mums are going to explain their actions to their kids when they are older, i've gone 6 months without seeing my Girls I can't imagine over a year but I've got a feeling it's going to be longer than that.

How do you and your Son cope? It upsets me more when I see the effect it has on the rest of my family especially the women, it a living nightmare.

Slim

Hi Slim

Its a disgrace..How anyone that bears the Title" Mother" can use a child is a Weapon is beyond any of us...But as we have said..She must not have a very Happy Life because Happy people wouldn't act this way.

We cope as we have now de-sensitized to the situation..He is thought about every day. When the other Grandkids get even a Ice Cream he gets the Money Transferred into a Account we Set up.

As for when he grows up..Well we will never bad mouth his Mother to him..We won,t need to..when he Starts asking questions it,s all in black and white So he can see how hard his Daddy as Fought for him. Thats then something she will have to deal with.

Hopefully When he applies for Residency( which it will get to that) That little Boy can grow up surrounded by love not Hate..

xx.

Try using the search for “order enforcement” put that and my user id (Dad-i-d) in the search fields and look for posts from 2011-2013
I’ve asked so many questions on this and have had to do everything to get the courts to help me….so there may be a few things in there that may help you.

I never went for a residency order for same reasons….i didn’t want to take my son from his mother fully….i just wanted as much time with him as possible 50/50 split would be perfect but as I work and she doesn’t I thought it would be really unfair of me on our son to demand that and disrupt his school week between us.

I had enforcement order in place after the ex broke several Magistrates contact orders and county court contact orders. I had to get an enforcement order too…..and had to get that enforcement order enforced with penalties attached as she broke that too.
The only penalties that I could ask for that the courts could really impose was imprisonment or change of residence if she broke the final enforced order.
She’s not working so a fine would take money out her pocket which impacts the child.
She claimed she couldn’t do unpaid work as she was “on sick”
Prison and or change of residence was the only penalty that I could ask for and expect to get if I could prove she broke their enforced order.

Yep….she broke contact again early last year….i filed an committal to prison application at court……I failed to get it but only due to using incorrect terminology and chronology from a “legal” definition point of view on the application….this was pointed out by the ex’s barrister and the judge did agree but did tell her that had I been legally represented it would have been correct and he would’ve handed her a 3mth prison sentence suspended for 2yrs!!!!
Funnily enough there has been regular contact since july 2013 and even starting with overnights…..although it is looking likely I’ll have to take it back in front of a judge to get contact extended to weekends (currently just a day) in the next few months as she’s refusing to give more contact at the moment.

Thanks for the info - I will read through.

DId your ex attend all the court hearings?

One of the problems with the mother in this case is that she just refuses to attend and has attended only two out of the now ten hearings - she did not turn up for the hearing that made the contact order and ignored the directions hearing and the enforcement hearing - no excuses - just doesn't turn up and no communication.

While this isn't winning her any friends in court - it just seems that the courts are fairly powerless in the face of such distain.
I think that Cafcass and the court would view a financial penalty as affecting her children more than her, and her circumstances (she's just had a baby) pretty much rule out unpaid work.

A suspended sentence might get her attention, but I'm not convinced the court even given her contempt would go that far any time soon.

Getting the court to appoint a guardian and to look for shared residency or full residency seems to be the best hope, but its so frustrating that this has gone on for 13 months with no contact , and there is no end in sight.

I just wish these things could move more quickly - maybe some rich badly treated Dad out there could drag this sort of case into the Human rights spotlight...

This doesn't happen to the rich, they can afford the best legal teams!

Mine refused to attend one hearing stating she was not prepared to having only given birth some 2mths earlier to her new partners child. I only found out when I got to court! The court received that letter just two days before the hearing. They sent out a letter with a revised date (2wks later) and explained should she not attend the enforcement hearing then she would be held in contempt and an order would be made in her absence.
She did attend that later hearing and got a really stern telling off from the judge….(slap on the wrist).
But she hasn’t missed another since and the judges have been very strong against her I think due to her absolute lack of respect to the court orders and her attitude in court of “no one tells me what to do with my child”….she actually said that at one hearing where she was challenging the cafcass report!

The ex in this case refuses to have any communication with the courts now,
She has had letters advising it will be dealt with in her absence..Which Contact Order was granted without her appearing...Enforcement is being looked at by Caffcass as we speak..but she will just ignore them also is my feeling on this.

So a residency application is we feel the only way froward..

Lets hope that court letter will pull the Punch needed..

She can't keep buring her head in the sand expecting it all to blow away.....the courts can tell her that she could be made to change the childs residence to the father.

keep strong and don't let her get away with denying a child the right of contact with his/her father!

Morning All

So next court appearance looming..

Enforcement order . Due to The History we think she will just ignore the Courts request for a Means Statement and Caffcass if they manage to contact her will we feel say she is not suitable for unpaid work .

Next step...Shall My Son go Straight for Residency? How likely will he be to get it?
Or would he be best he push for a suspended sentence?

If he go,s the Residency route will they at the end say.."perhaps we should try a suspended sentence 1st"?

Many thanx

My heart goes out to you and your family.
Whilst I can't give you any specific advice , the attitude of " no one tells me what to do with my child " most
certainly resonates with me.
The mother of my grandchild is manipulative,conniving and lying through her back teeth....and we are/ my son is
only at the beginning of the journey to have a meaningful relationship with the child.
Whilst the mother attended court, she ranted on and on, lied to Cafcass and has broken the court order on the
second contact visit already.
Deep down I know it will take years until a satisfactory outcome is achieved ....
Hang in there x

Take care
Kirsten

I think he should be prepared for that eventuality. If he pushes for residency and the judge decides on a suspended sentence that will send a clear warning to her, if she breaches that she will go to jail and residency would then be transferred I think.

Perhaps your son should ask the judge for clarification on the outcome if she breaches when there is a suspended sentence in place and whether a transfer of residency would happen at that point.

I have read so many of these cases now where the mother deliberately lies and attempts to obstruct contact, yet on the othe hand proclaims to be promoting contact.

Contact denial is child abuse - plain and simple.

I certainly think the courts need to be tougher on mothers that behave this way. If a father being denied contact goes to court to enforce the order I definitely think it's feasible to punish the mother by way of a suspended sentence - any further offences/breaches are punishable by imprisonment.

The long term effects of this contact denial on the child is going to be emotionally damaging to them. I have seen a few recent judgments surface that have ended in residency reversed to the father.

I think if the courts were robust enough to do this where it was warranted insted of pandering to the mother, the kids would be better off, and mothers who think they can play the system would get a severe kick up the [censored], and a reminder not to mess around.

Rob007 who posts here would most likely be able to link us to the case law. I know it exists, Just don't remember where to find it.