[Solved] Considering my next move

Apologies for the long winded story. And lack of paragraphs and typos- I'm using a small smartphone with minuscule buttons

Looking around the forum. It seems I need to apply for an 'enforcement of court order'. I'm also hoping to increase contact (fingers crossed) so could I do this through an enforcement Oder or have to apply to 'vary' the order instead? Mediation wouldn't be possible as she wouldn't attend.

Hi There,
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I think I would look at varying the order rather than an enforcement of the current one, the cost as far as I am aware is the same, you can state your reasons for varying the order as she won't even discuss additional contact even though the original order states that she should, you can also mention the breaks to the current order also in the hope that the judge will discuss this with your ex.
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If the order is being broken every now and then and there are things going on that she has arranged, like days out ect, dhe should be offering alternate time, a judge wouldn't look to enforce and order unless this is a very frequent thing and I know you say it's becoming more common, but if she can explain her way out of it with excuses, I think the judge would just ask her to be more considerate and possibly not do much more.
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If you go for a variation on the original order then you can address your ex's lack of acceptance for any further contact to happen and as said also bring up in court the times when she has made plans and not replaced the time you have lost, you can ask for something to be wriiten into the order to cover this, that way if she continues to make plans on the weekends you should have your son and doesn't give you that time back, then she is in breach of the order and you would have a stronger case.
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GTTS

You've got two options really;

1) Attempt mediation and then get a C100 signed and make an application to vary the order

or

2) Apply for enforcement using a C79 and chance your arm at also asking for an increase in contact but don't ask on the C79 form, wait til you get to court. You could always ask to vary on a C2 once the C79 has gone in, which is a form to add an issue to existing proceedings.

If you're going to self rep, you can generally try option 2 and claim ignorance if asked why you didn't apply on a C100. I've seen plenty of dads get a variation using the C79 route. Generally, if arrangements have broken down to the point you have no other choice than to apply for enforcement, there's usually some type of variation to make sure this doesn't happen again.

Your choice really, both applications cost the same. A C79 obviously has the benefit of not having to attempt mediation and the first hearing is supposed to be listed within 4 weeks of receipt.

Thanks guys, think I'll get the ball rolling this week. Surely I have nothing to lose and only stand to gain. The only concern for me is the effect all this has on my son. His mother makes it clear to him that she doesn't like him spending time with me. He loves coming over and is always happy. But he knows his mother disapproves. For instance, he is afraid to ask his mother or tell his mother that he wants to see me. He is afraid to tell her his self because she will get angry. I do worried that he would give off the impression that he doesn't want to visit often purely because of his mother. It's awful how all this has affected him over the last few years

Again, thanks for taking the time to offer your advice guys. I've self represented in the past, when she stopped informally arranged contact without reason. I found self representing strangely empowering rather than stressful though. I would never go to a solicitor.

Word of warning regarding the wordings in the court order......

Contact to be on "x" day for "x" amount of hours and overnights to be "x" until "x"......this is fine and is the part that if she (or you) break or don't stick to then is against the court order and enforcement can be applied.

however (and this is where my ex worked it!)
the "any other time as can be agreed between the parents" .....this bit needs to be better worded and tightened up on to prevent your ex from the "we can't agree therefore won't be happening" stance
That is what I learnt from my Mackenzie friend that my contact orders were not rigid enough to stop the ex from preventing any extra contact I would have loved to have.
however the judge would not fix it as we all know at times we need some flexibility....trouble is with our ex's they tend to want it all their way and nothing your way in return!

may be one of the more knowledgeable members here could offer better wording to help tighten up that little loop hole?

Yes, it certainly seems like it is a grey area. In my case, the additional contact can't be agreed because she won't have any contact with me what so ever. I've spoke to her face to face just once in around two years. She refuses to let me have her contact number either. So in effect, she doesn't even refuse extra contact as I don't get the opportunity to ask for it. Which is why she acts in this manner. I'll be sure to make a point of this, as she keeps me at arms length, If I was so much as to knock her letterbox, she would cry 'harrassement!'

Dad-I-D - Reading your bio and my thoughts go out to you. I've been in the same boat, on and off, since 2008.

If you're going down the C79 route, I think you need a strong position statement and make sure to mention as a first priority, that the mother has been breaching the order on xxxx occasions by not being at home for scheduled sessions or has given your son the responsibility of answering the door to tell you contact will not be taking place.

At 8 years old, your son should not be given the responsibility of making or breaking arrangements with you. As parents, that is your job, not his. I would definitely be telling the court that you are worried this is having an emotional impact on your son as he is afraid to speak to his mother about seeing you, that it is clear his mother does not give him emotional permission to have a relationship with you.

Does your court order detail how communication is to take place? If you don't have contact info for her, what would happen in an emergency for example?

As far as the wording goes about extra contact to be agreed between the parties - this could be your in for variation? You could state something along the lines of - it has not been possible to speak with the mother regarding breaches of the current order,as she refuses to correspond with me at all. In addition, I would have hoped by now that our son could have been spending extra time with me as the current order states XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Unfortunately, without any method of direct communication, it is not possible to have any such discussions.