[Solved] Concerns re child, should we bring him home to us

I would strongly advise that you don't take this course of action. As you are in the process of court, the judge wouldn't look kindly if you removed the child From the jurisdiction. Scotland is considered out of the Jurisdiction even though it is part of the UK.

I understand completely how you must be feeling but at least your partner has some contact and the prospect of this improving, if he was to take him it might end up that he couldn't see him at all.

Thanks Mojo.

My Partner thankfully thought better of it and decided to take him home to his Mother. It has been a long hard road and he is near the end of it so it would be completely stupid to blow it now.

We will wait and hope the Judge does the right thing.

I'm so glad, your partner really doesn't need to muddy the waters at this point...it will be hard but hopefully once you get the court order things will settle down.

If the situation deteriorates after that you can apply for a variation for residence. His son is getting older all the time and once he can build his confidence with your partners help things should improve for him.

Thank you Mojo.

We will keep that in mind if things don't get any better. Appreciate your advice.

Hi Lollyrus

I did see your post earlier - but since I am relatively new here, and since your situation is clearly complex (cross border and what sounds like an entrenched case of implacable hostility coming from your partners ex), I felt it was necessary to read the background before replying, by going through your previous posts - which I have now done.

Firstly, well done for hanging-on in there, and taking the necessary steps to establish contact. It sounds like it has been an incredibly stressful and draining time for all involved.

From your previous posts, it sounds like you have had a "positive" response both from the courts and cafcass - which is no trivial thing. It is vital for your ultimate objective that this continues into your final hearing. In this regard, as Mojo says - it would probably be unadvisable for your partner to take this course of action as in the short-term, it is far more likely to cause more problems (and delay things) for your partner in relation to the current proceedings. While your partner does have PR, and so is equally responsible for the welfare of the child - because the allegations of harm are not new and not immediate (your partner is not removing the child from an immediately dangerous situation, such a physical assault on the child committed by the mother in front of the father - for instance) - it may be difficult for your partner to defend these sorts of actions (in court).

The only thing I have to add to all the excellent advice you have already received - and which is particularly pertinent in the case of an implacably hostile parent - is to keep at the forefront of your mind that a judge will be concerned with *all* the child's rights and welfare - an important aspect of which (from the child's perspective) is the right to a relationship with both parents. When a supportive parent is faced with dealing with an implacably hostile parent, it can sometimes be neglected that (until a court orders otherwise) it is the child's right to have a relationship with that parent (however distasteful that may appear to your partner/you). So, it is of vital importance to demonstrate (to the court) that if the child were to live with your partner, he would protect and uphold the child's rights to a greater extent than would be the case if the child were to continue to reside with the mother (who has already shown her hand as being unwilling/unable to protect certain rights of the child). Importantly, this includes facilitating contact/relationship between the child and the child's mother. In short, I am saying a court would likely be uncomfortable restoring one right, if it meant obstructing another (if you see what I mean) - in all but the most extreme cases (of course, there is a balance to be had). From reading your posts, it strikes me that you and your partner are aware of this - but given how crucial this aspect is - I thought it worth reiterating.

Hope that helps and best of luck for the final hearing.

Thank you TashasHideousLaugh for taking the time to read thru my posts. I guess we are getting so close to the end that we're getting the jitters! This has been 2 years of [censored] for my Partner & his little boy. The Mother's solicitor has dragged this out for maximum financial gain for no-one but himself. He advised the Mother to breach the order and block contact then sat there smug hiding behind the child's manipulated 'wishes & feelings' that he didn't want to see his Father.

The Mother continues to try everything to hinder contact and we have no doubt will continue to do so. She's used the child's alleged 'wishes & feelings' for long enough and now that the Judge & Cafcass have seen thru that, she's certainly showing her true colours and giving us plenty amunition to raise at the final hearing.

This site has certainly been a tremendous fountain of information and sound advice which we have used to 'play the game' and it's certainly been a long one.

My Partner has considered walking away because of the damage the Mother is prepared to inflict on their child over and over so she can "win" but we concluded that wouldn't stop her as she would at every available opportunity bad-mouth or blame Dad anyway. One day the child will vote with his feet and leave her to get on with it. We just pray she gets the help she needs because no sane person would behave like her.