[Solved] Concerns about my son's welfare

Hi G and welcome

This is a very sad state of affairs,

It's understandable that the SS won't release any information until they can verify your identity and your relationship to your son.

Are you named on his birth certificate? This is important as it will provide the proof you need.

If you can prove who you are then you will be entitled to access the file they have on your son. I would also want to know why you were not contacted by them before your son was placed with the grandmother. If you are named on the birth certificate then you have Parental Responsibility and strictly speaking should have been involved at the point your son entered the system. I'm pretty sure they should have sought your agreement about any decisions that were made.w

I have removed your other post as it was a duplicate of this one and you should get more response in this section.

Fortunately mojo, I am named on my son's birth certificate which is why I am so puzzled as to why I wasn't notified by SS. 6 months ago I managed to get in touch with my son's grandmother when I first found out that she had taken him in and she said it was due to his mother suffering domestic violence. So it seems that I am been lied to from all angles and I am in limbo not knowing where to turn.

Hi there

Here's a useful link about obtaining information from Children Services. It's a factsheet from Family Rights Group who may be able to help you.

www.frg.org.uk/images/Advice_Sheets/26-access-to-records.pdf

Perhaps you could call into Children Services (SS) department, take some ID and a copy of your sons birth certificate and ask to talk to someone about the situation.

You say you managed to get in touch with the grandmother about 6 months ago, did you ask to have contact with your son at that time? What is your relationship with her and could you approach her to get some contact inplace?

Thank you for that info nannyjane. When I managed to get in contact with his grandmother 6 months ago (which was a mammoth task in itself), I expressed my desire to resume contact with my son and I also offered child maintenance to her to help with my son's upbringing. The only response I got was thet she would ask him whether he felt comfortable seeing me and then get back in touch, this was the last I heard. I know it may seem a crude way to describe it but it seems that my ex's family see me as a sperm donor and do not want me or his half sisters and step-mum having any kind of relationship with my boy. During the past, even when we were in a relationship, I was always isolated by her family and if there was ever any decision to be made about my son's care or education, I was over-looked and was always the last to know.

I do understand, these situations can be so difficult to navigate. I think your first port of call should be with the SS, take in the relevant documents and tell them that your exclusion was not of your making, nor something that you were happy about. Talk to them and ask for their support in re establishing your relationship with your son. Once you can show you have PR they should be happy to talk to you about what has happened and hopefully will help you to start the process of contact.

I would imagine the grandmother will be an obstacle, she will think that your goal will be to gain residency of your son, so she's not going to be cooperative. Be careful about how you approach her as you don't want her to start making allegations that you are harassing her. Try and deal through the SS but leave them in no doubt that you want to pursue contact with a view to residency at some point.

Good luck.

Hi Gregerz85,

Sorry to hear that SS have not be helpful or forthcoming with information regarding your son. I really wish that SS would get dad involved more in situations when the mother is no longer looking after the children.

I would recommend that you speak to The Family Rights Group (as NJ has suggested) regarding your dealings with SS. They will be able to advise you and help you through this process.

Keep talking to us and let us know how you are getting on.

Good luck

Gooner

I am really grateful for the information you have all supplied, ultimately, I would love to get residency of my son but I recognise that this is a million miles away from where I am at the moment and have a lot of battling to do.
Thanks again

In the circumstances gaining residence of your son is a good goal to have and if you accept that it can't happen overnight and are prepared to put the time and effort in to achieving it then I think it's a realistic one.

We will give you as much advice and support as we can going forward, your little boy deserves to have you in his life and to get to know his siblings.