[Solved] Collection of child on Christmas day

I'm guessing the situation is adversarial, otherwise there would not be a court action. I'm guessing the court agreed that you should see your children on 25 Dec, but it really cannot be expected to sort out the minutiae for you. I'm guessing you are collecting your children for a substantial time after the 25th (otherwise it would not be worth doing it for a 2 hour round trip), I'm guessing (again) that your ex-wife will have the 2 hour round trip to collect the kids from your home some at the end of their period with you (perhaps they will be with you for the New Year holiday?), so perhaps you could offer to meet your ex-wife half way to hand over the kids on both days?
Best wishes,
AO

Hi there, travel is a very grey area and quite often a sticking point.

Are there any other children to consider or just your 1 year old son?

If it's going to be the case that you are always going to split Xmas Day in half, perhaps you could suggest the parent that spends the 2nd half of the day with the child always collects from the other? The only other choice is meeting halfway or asking for alternate Xmas Days with the handover on Boxing Day?

What did the court order specify? Is it an ongoing case or was this a Specific Issue Order? I assume with the distance between the homes that travel is always an issue for your visits? If the case is ongoing, you could ask the courts to make a decision on travel. It would be down to the individual judge as to what is best for the child as there are no rules in this area.

My partner asked for a share of travel and was successful but this isn't always the case. Good luck 🙂

Thank you for the messages.

This is currently an ongoing case. Just to clear things up. The child with my ex wife is 6 years old. I have a 1 year old son with my current wife.

We aren't in a court room yet but should be in the next couple of weeks. I'm trying hard for us not to be there.

We have suggested a mid way point for christmas day. However she is expecting us to collect at 3pm one year and return 3pm the following year on the rotation. Which means ever year on Christmas day Myself, wife and son have to do a 2 hour rounds trip. My ex wife has another child but he's 19!!!!

Does anyone else feel this is unfair on us to do as she clearly doesn't!

I do think this unfair, as children should be free to play and enjoy the festivities on Christmas Day, not spend it travelling! I think this is the reason the preferred contact for Christmas and special occasions like birthdays is to alternate every year which would involve an overnight say.

I would have this as your preferred option, as 1626 knows, it's always best to offer different options to the court where contact is concerned, to show flexibility and thoughtfulness for the other parent and the child.

Perhaps you could also consider making the journey without your wife and young son.

Best of luck.

I meant to mention, my son and his ex share the travelling, she picks up at the start of contact and he picks him up at the end. ( he has custody)... He does the pick up at the end as she's often late.

Hi, I'm a bit confused, are you in mediation or in the middle of court proceedings? If you're in the middle of proceedings, I would ask the court for alternate Xmas days to avoid anyone having to travel that day, I've got a load of shared travel stuff that we used for my partner's statements if you want to use any of it, feel free to pm me 🙂

Hello,

I have raised court action as she refued mediation, refused via lawyer letters to allow cristmas day contact.

I am currently personally trying to sort this out as going to court could mean a decision neither of us want.

So she is suggesting the following

Year 1 3pm Christmas Day to 5pm boxing day (2014,2015)
Year 2 3pm chrismas eve to 3pm Christmas Day (starting in 2016 then Rotating)

I had different suggestions however she disagreed.

I am expected to do all driving on each day with pick up drop off at the ex wife house. So two hours on Christmas day and Boxing Day then two hours on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in 2016.

Sound fair?

Hello,

I have raised court action as she refued mediation, refused via lawyer letters to allow cristmas day contact.

I am currently personally trying to sort this out as going to court could mean a decision neither of us want.

So she is suggesting the following

Year 1 3pm Christmas Day to 5pm boxing day (2014,2015)
Year 2 3pm chrismas eve to 3pm Christmas Day (starting in 2016 then Rotating)

I had different suggestions however she disagreed.

I am expected to do all driving on each day with pick up drop off at the ex wife house. So two hours on Christmas day and Boxing Day then two hours on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in 2016.

Sound fair?

No it doesn't sound fair at all! I sympathise with this, had similar issues with partner's ex. I don't think anyone should be having to travel on Christmas Day, when travelling is involved, it's almost always fairer on everyone to have alternate days rather than to split them. If she won't listen to alternatives, she ought to be prepared to compromise but I understand that a lot of Mums don't want to......

Is it just special occasions you tried to start mediation for and are considering court?

Hi,

There was a lot to get sorted, two nights at the weekends, share of the school holidays ect.

I do do the majority of the driving in regards to all other contact, however feel Christmas Day it would be fair to share it out some way.

That makes it all the more unfair. I'm sorry, it just all seems so unreasonable.... I hope you manage to sort things out and avoid court, it can make things worse once that process begins. If you do end up in court, it would be worth asking for a share of travel & better special occasion arrangements.....Good luck 🙂