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Hi all,
I have two girls aged 10 & 12 I have been split from there mother for over 4 years I have had the girls every weekend Friday till Sunday and recently changed over last two months to 3 nights from Saturday afternoon to Tuesday morning I did this to get myself some own time on a Friday as work all week. I have been a good parent always paid maintenance bought school uniform, clothes and supported the girls 100%. I dont have a really good parental relationship with my Ex and dont really get along just other some little matters like making sure girls look good polishing school shoes making sure they dont go looking like they a dragged up! But all I have done is shown them how I go about things and look after them and make sure the doing ok at school etc, I was happy with this as the girls got alot of time with me so got to see both sides. The problem what I have now is that she has had a new boyfriend for about a year and she is now pregnant to him. He is from Manchester and we are from Pontefract so know she has given up a three bedroom house moved into her parents for the last couple of months and then last week has stated she is moving to Manchester this week! She has only got a 2 bedroomed house and she has taken my youngest out of school well not going back from the end of the summer holidays and then I have been getting phone calls from the school asking where my daughter is!! She not informed any of the schools that the girls are leaving for Manchester and left that for me. My oldest is doing the 2 days this week and going to Manchester on Sunday. There mother has only just applied but not even got a place confirmed yet about a school!
She did speak o me last week about it and said that she would be willing to bring the kids thru on a Friday and I take them home on a Sunday I did mention about having to go every other weekend as the cost and time would be two high. But now she turning round and saying girls will be at school on a friday and that the costs will be too high for her to bring them over! I have always picked up and dropped the girls off at hers or anywhere she wanted but now feel like I am getting mugged off. The oldest did not want to go as she will be back to sharing rooms with her sister and dont know what will happen when the baby arrives!
Where do I stand with the travel arrangements I am happy to pick up or drop off but I am not prepared to do both and also thinking about going for full custody as really do feel they would be better in a stable enviroment but not sure where I would stand!
Thanks
Hi there,
There's no set rules as far as travelling arrangements are concerned, but the consensus is that most of the time its down to the man to sort it...unfair I know. If you pay maintenance through the CSA you may be entitled to a reduction in your payment to cover a percentage of the travelling expenses but as its about a 140 mile round trip it wont be a great deal in my opinion.
As far as custody is concerned, usually there has to be safeguarding issues for a court to consider changing the residency, there's nothing to stop you going for it though.... However you could try and delay moving by applying for a Prohibited Steps Order which would prevent her from leaving. As she hasn't got the girls placed in a school, or in fact let their present school know you might stand a chance in stopping it. If the girls don't want to move and they voice their feelings then again that will carry some weight, as will the move into smaller accommodation...although children of the same [censored] can share a bedroom at the ages they are. If they are leaving this week though you have left it late to apply for a PSO unless you can get to the court immediately before they close today(which is usually early in office terms) Fill out and submit the application form C100 applying for a PSO and if you decide to Residency. This will cost £200 unless you are on a low income in which case you can claim an exemption on form EX160a.... you will get the forms at the court office and can fill them in there. When you hand the forms in you must tell them that you are making an emergency application and you need to be in court tomorrow to prevent the children from leaving.
If you weren't married to the mother then you wont have Parental Responsibility for the oldest child and if your youngest daughter was born before December 2003 you wont have PR for her either....in which case you would also need form C1 to apply for this at the same time.
Thank You Nannyjane for the great information. Yes its too late as she has already moved so I am going to have to see how it goes and try and push for more even terms. My girlfriend has a 4 year old to an ex and we do the same with him drop him off and the ex picks him up so I guess I will try talk and reason with her!
You might like to consider mediation...this might help you to get your point of view across and reach some agreement. Here's a link www.nfm.org.uk
Legal aid is still available for mediation and you can check if you are eligible here www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
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