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My ex has refused to let me pay for my child from the start, I have offered and even stated that I don't feel like I'm doing enough because my ex said just pay for stuff when the little angel is with you. Is my best bet to approach CSA ? CMS? myself or pay money in to an account that I can set-up, I'm not on the birth certificate but I don't like feeling like I'm not paying and I intend to get on the Birth Certificate ASAP.
Thanks in advance,
TheDaddy
Set an account up yourself, unless you have her bank details?
She sounds very reasonable.
In my case we both had somewhere to live and all of a sudden I was paying for a "roof" despite him having one elsewhere and refusing contact yadda yadda.
You can apply yourself BUT if she doesnt want it she doesnt have to accept it.
Ie a mother can try to get you to have contact but you dont HAVE to etc (which is wrong).
You will NOT be backdated from anything other than the date she may apply to the CMS and they contact you same week they dont hang about and let you accumulate debt
Thanks for your reply, you may think she is reasonable but I would read the other threads I have posted with more of the story.
sure, but I dont think that changes the rest of the content of my reply
Very true and I thank you for the other content. Sorry just been a very emotional ride.
TheDaddy
i'd alway worry when they say things like they don't want your money.
i tested that theory out with my ex back in 2012 when she stopped contact for the 3rd or 4th time......put Β£1 in to her bank 10days before i used to pay her.....my worrying made me put the rest in 2 weeks after i normally paid it.
guess what happened!....i got a letter from the CSA saying that she'd apprached them saying i'd never paid maintenance! took me 6mths to get that sorted out!!
work out what you should be paying....set up an account and transfer moeny electronically and name the payments "maintenance" make sure you do this electronic because you neve know one day she may decide she wants it and then you may well have back pay to pay!
they way my ex played it the CSA were looking to try and get Β£3000+ out of me! i paid her Β£280/mth at the time so F**k knows how they calculated that one on my salary!
got it resolved by getting her to stop the CSA claim....only times she has ever done "the right thing" for our child with me......but she now knows i daren't ever stop paying her cos they'll deduct from my wages at source.
all that and i've not seen my son now for 8mths! still i daren't stop paying
Very true and I thank you for the other content. Sorry just been a very emotional ride.
TheDaddy
Set an account up yourself, unless you have her bank details?
In my case we both had somewhere to live and all of a sudden I was paying for a "roof" despite him having one elsewhere and refusing contact yadda yadda.
You can apply yourself BUT if she doesnt want it she doesnt have to accept it.
Ie a mother can try to get you to have contact but you dont HAVE to etc (which is wrong).
You will NOT be backdated from anything other than the date she may apply to the CMS and they contact you same week they dont hang about and let you accumulate debt
;0)
i'd alway worry when they say things like they don't want your money.
i tested that theory out with my ex back in 2012 when she stopped contact for the 3rd or 4th time......put Β£1 in to her bank 10days before i used to pay her.....my worrying made me put the rest in 2 weeks after i normally paid it.
guess what happened!....i got a letter from the CSA saying that she'd apprached them saying i'd never paid maintenance! took me 6mths to get that sorted out!!work out what you should be paying....set up an account and transfer moeny electronically and name the payments "maintenance" make sure you do this electronic because you neve know one day she may decide she wants it and then you may well have back pay to pay!
they way my ex played it the CSA were looking to try and get Β£3000+ out of me! i paid her Β£280/mth at the time so F**k knows how they calculated that one on my salary!
got it resolved by getting her to stop the CSA claim....only times she has ever done "the right thing" for our child with me......but she now knows i daren't ever stop paying her cos they'll deduct from my wages at source.
all that and i've not seen my son now for 8mths! still i daren't stop paying
Still wouldnt matter, this would be a CMS case now not CSA there isnt any backdating and they dont take into account any prepayments JUST liability from date of application
Thanks very much folks, it means a lot π
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