Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
There's an existing court order. My 10 yo daughter has escaped from her mother's care (primary address) after being mistreated and traumatised a month ago. She refuses to go back. The ex has not even tried to convince her in any positive way to resume face to face contact/return home. There has been no improvement in relationship between them (it's what my daughter has hoped for). The mother is very cold towards the daughter. My daughter thinks she will be shouted at and punished if she returns. The ex doesn't act like a normal mother would in this situation (emotionally dead mother, NPD). Very superficial interactions between them. Yet she still demands from me to return the daughter ASAP.
My daughter wants to live with me now. She can see her mother for who she is.
Safeguarding concerns from the last few weeks:
- my ex has failed to take my daughter to A&E with a broken foot
- NHS has prescribed her an orthopedic boot after I went with her, the mother wanted to take the boot away from her a week later going against the doctor's advice
- my daughter has told the school she thinks about self harming removed link She's told me this started last year (school exams pressure and stress created by the mother).
- she's said the mother has slapped her in the face previously.
The head teacher knows about the situation and is very supportive. Told me to report the self harming concern to GP. My daughter needs counselling removed link
I need to change the existing court order. My ex's contact with the child ought to be limited. The conflict will get only worse as my daughter will get older and want to be increasingly independent (over controlling mother). She knows the mother doesn't treat her right.
As there is no previous evidence of domestic abuse it seems like the default procedure wants to send me to mandatory MIAM. It's nonsensical that I'm supposed to be mediating with a controlling and an abusive mother who is not fit mentally to look after her daughter. This should go directly to court. Is there a way for this?
Which organisation should I contact and which should I avoid regarding safeguarding and potentially gathering evidence before court.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.