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Can anyone help?
I had a 1 night stand whuch led the the woman becoming pregnant. We fell out so I did not see her for the final 5 months of pregnant.
I was allowed to see the baby on a set day basis but unfortunately I cancelled so many times that she has now told me I have to go to court to sort things.
I realise now how bad it was that I was constantly cancelling and making excuses which wrre down to me having to work overtime as i needed t be money or not having anywhere to take the baby as we don't go to my house die to my partner not supporting me.
Would all this be used against me in court if I try and get access?
Just to say the baby is now 10 months. I am not on the birth certificate either.
Hi
It's certainly going to slow your progress in the matter. Realistically, you will need to try mediation first in any case, so it may be worth suggesting a small but regular level of contact initially, and building up as that goes well - if your ex doesn't agree to this in mediation, then you need to try the same again in court. However, you do need to stick to any agreement, so only suggest what you can realistically stick to.
She has suggested mediation. We were building up bit i was unreliable. I realise now how bad i was not responding to her messages when i was to see the baby or where she was bringing baby as i hadn't sorted anywhere for us to meet.
I realise now it has come to this that my behaviour was bad. I saw the baby about 15 times in 10 months as i cancelled most.
I'm scared now it will go against me as she did try her best but got fed up.
Sometimes a reluctance to form a relationship with a child in this kind of situation has a deeper reason than just being unreliable, you probably needed time to get your head round the enormity of becoming a father and I have no doubt that the fact that your partner isn't supportive also plays a part in what has happened.
Look upon mediation as a fresh start, be honest about what you can do realistically and admit that you got it wrong... Sometimes a genuine apology goes a long way, she obviously wants you to have a relationship with your child so hopefully you can reach some agreement at mediation and court won't be necessary.
If it goes to court, as long as you're honest and open I don't think it will be held against you too much, court want to move forward and won't dwell on the past so much.
Best of luck
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