Child Contact Order

yes I heard that a lot in court. apparently a child having a father in their life will disrupt their routine :p 50/50 is difficult to get for dads. my barrister told me it's out of question for me, am I going to stop working? and also ex refuses to communicate direct with me. need good communication for 50/50. will involve school runs. there are some dads that have 50/50 and are doing 2 school runs a day, while somehow managing to work.

If you came back you would increase your chances but as others have said it is difficult. Fathers have been known to give up work or work part time just to make 50:50 work and you've said you have a business to run.

I can see why your ex is saying no. Long term, the contact you are requesting, just isn't viable, for example what if she falls out with your parents? What if she has a new partner? These are all factors that can impact contact.

Yes the courts want routine for the kids but this is usually in respect of their own parents and not wider family. After all if you were in the country permanently, then on your contact you can ensure child sees your family. The courts look at this as the routine and the best and easiest way to achieve what you are wanting.

Don't under estimate just how significant you being out of the country is on the overall situation.

Hope you manage to sort things..

Have you considered contacting ex and asking what she would offer you contact wise with son if you returned to country? Although she is not agreeable to 50-50 she may consider 10 nights out of 28 and half of the holidays for example or if you are really fortunate 12 out of 28 which would include school pick ups. 10 out of 28 should be realistically achievable without needing to go to family court.

Thankyou here is hoping that she will not make it more hard than it already is but you are right I have to be realistic.

[quote="warwickshire1" post=112564]Have you considered contacting ex and asking what she would offer you contact wise with son if you returned to country? Although she is not agreeable to 50-50 she may consider 10 nights out of 28 and half of the holidays for example or if you are really fortunate 12 out of 28 which would include school pick ups. 10 out of 28 should be realistically achievable without needing to go to family court.

Hi, Thankyou I have already asked her for more contact and her answer is Simply a No she is saying that I have shown no interest in doing all these things when I have been in the country in the past and that she has a routine for our son. Her other reason is that when we were going through courts for finances I was basically in the country for the whole year myself and didn’t travel but as soon as the case finished I went abroad again and she is using it as an excuse to say that I misled the courts saying I have returned and will
Be living in the U.K. now My reason to be in the country full time back then was because I just wanted it all to finish so I could concentrate on my business so yeah talking to her basically is out of option for now.

It doesn't sound like she's being totally unreasonable so if you could agree something between you, that would be great for all of you. If you wanted something formalised, you could apply for a consent order to make it binding.

Thankyou I messaged my ex the other day as with new announcement schools will be opening soon and our son will be going to school that she needs to resume the contact with my family as well. She just said no and ignored my messages after that I don’t know what her issue is he was visiting them before until she stopped it because of the lockdown, and when she did I hate to admit it I got quite upset where I gave her some home truths and told her me and my family will Be applying for contact through court when I am back.

You will need to attempt mediation before being allowed to make an application to court. You could start this process while you are away as most mediators are doing the MIAMs on zoom now. MIAM = mediation information assessment meeting. May speed things up for you. Hopefully she will come round and let some contact start.

Hi Dad2One

You say you're not sure what her issue is, it could however be your approach. Suggesting applications through the courts can cause the ex to shut down and stop engaging (can cause upset and annoyance and feeling threatened) . It can result in them looking up the processes and their rights online and often they realise they are in a much stronger position than you have been saying. If she seeks legal advice then often the advice is to not engage with you and let you take her to court now that you have suggested it. She will establish that if she gives too much contact now to your family then the court may order this to remain ongoing, but if she restricts it then the court will almost expect things to start off slowly and build up and that's only if a court agrees with you/your parents which as per previous replies is unlikely and/or difficult.

You have a few decisions to make such as being in the country and whether to apply to the courts. Once you decide you have to be committed and follow the relevant processes and expect there to be turbulence in the meantime.

Its not easy or quick but you will get there..