[Solved] Child Arrangement Order

hi,

how old are your children? seems like what your asking for is reasonable. my arrangement is have kids fri-mon every other week, and a mon-tue overnight every other week, with school holidays to be shared.

I found telephone hearing to be stress-free. did not have a barrister. You can prepare a position statement that contains the arrangements your seeking, and just discuss it with judges/ex side.

have cafcass done a section 7 report?

Thanks for the reply

No section 7 report - this will be the first hearing so Im guessing they may ask for that to be done ?

Children are 9 , 7 , 2

Your arrangement sounds similar to what I have requested - do you mind me asking what should go in a position statement ?

Im also concerned about the false allegations which she is also putting into the childrens mind now and whether the judge will believe her . There is of course no evidence but not sure how to prove its all false

Hi, sorry to hear you've had to resort to court. There are guides on how to write a position statement on the Child Law advice and Rights of Women websites. Telephone hearings are fine. Don't interrupt however much you want to as the Judge will give you time to say what you want. Make notes of what you want to say so you don't forget. Also, takes notes of what your ex says so you can explain anything you don't agree with when you speak. The gov.uk website has guidance about telephone hearings.

hi,

with position statement, write brief background to your case, along lines of when your relationship broke down. How often have you been seeing your children, and now your contact with children has become intermittent, and have been refused on and off. You are seeking an arrangement that will benefit the children in terms of stability and routine. You want to play greater role in children's educational development, so you would need to spend more time with them, to help them with studies/homework.

Then you can make a list of arrangements you are seeking:

- fri after school - Monday morning school drop (decide what your able to do, considering work commitments)
- Mid week overnight (specify a day)
- school holidays to be shared equally
- children to spend 7 consecutive nights with father during longer school holidays; summer, xmas and easter
- xmas eve/day to be shared alternately or half day?
- permission to take children on holiday abroad, notice for passport handovers etc

you can find more info on position statement here, and theres a template example:
https://childlawadvice.org.uk/information-pages/writing-a-position-statement/

yes it's very likely at your first hearing, court will ask cafcass to do a section 7 report. Cafcass will interview you and give you chance to address some allegations your ex is making.

There isnt really much point paying 4 figures for a barrister for a 1st hearing. Its best to get advice on here and represent yourself especially as its only a phone call

Thanks everyone for the advice - really useful tips there

I was in a very, very similar situation. I was in the position of only seeing my girls at weekends and when my ex thought it was OK - she decided when and how, etc. I wanted to see them more often and do things like have them on schoolnights rather than just weekends.

I applied to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements plan and in the process my ex made statements along the lines of me being abusive to her and scaring the kids, being an alcoholic, etc., all of which untrue.

This was in 2018, so I attended court in a face-to-face hearing, rather that on the telephone. It was very, very daunting but I found it to be much more civil and easy than I expected. The court took the view that they should start from a 50/50 time-sharing basis and work from there and (I think) that any allegations from my ex needed to be backed up, which they were not. Our girls were asked by Cafcass about what they wanted and they had no problem with me.

So the court just followed the function of mediating an agreement on how a 50/50 Arrangement would work and drafting the Court Order. It was constructive and not as stressful as I expected, although you must prepare your position, your points what you want to say.

Quick update - first hearing went ok and have an interim agreement in place until final hearing in a couple of months.

Any advice on what I can do if she is still being difficult ? She is doing her best to persuade the children not to come and turn them against me. 1 of the children has refused to come on a couple of occasions and she isnt making any effort to persuade him eg giving him extra treats , telling him Im not paying enough money & wants them to lose their home - & he has a favourite toy which she wont allow him to bring.

I think she will continue make things difficult even after the final hearing but I cant physically drag him . We were very close but I can see it is creating a distance between us already

hi,

I hope the hearing went well. I would suggest you remain calm and try your best to follow the interim order, although your ex is making it difficult. make a note of any incidents like you mentioned, and raise them at the next hearing.

So next question - apologies for so many but this really is a minefield when you dont know what you are doing and so much at stake.
With a final hearing coming up we have to get statements in with any supporting evidence. Really no idea what they are looking for.

Basically I just want to have my children more nights and be involved in all aspects of their lives which she is excluding me from - school / medical.

As time goes on she is being more difficult about any access - persuading them to stay with her on the nights I should have them on our interim agreement. She has told them lies to try to turn them against me - such as Ive stolen their money, left because I dont want to see them and giving them extra treats when they stay with her .
Would the court want lots of texts showing her being difficult about me collecting them ? Plus previous abusive texts ? Will they accept statements from family members about what the children have said she has told them ?
There are also false allegations to the police on a few occasions (all investigated and no case to answer)- should I bring these up so that I have defended myself as she may do so ?
Or should I stick to just trying to persuade them that I am more than capable of looking after them going forwards- but of course there is no proof of this only photos of them at my home very relaxed and happy.
I know there is a limit to what the court will want and conscious I have one chance to prove myself to people who Ive never met .
Any advice welcome

hi,

are Cafcass doing a section 7 report? if so, it would be better to tell cafcass about all your concerns. parents should not be making any negative comments about other parent in front of the kids.

what have court asked you to prepare, have court asked you to prepare witness statements?