[Solved] Child access

You might want to make your post a little more anonymous , edit out your daughter’s name, your full name and your number ,
If on talking terms with your ex , ask her directly for what you want ...if you’re not able to talk

write your ex a letter stating what arrangements you would like and your reasons for it ,

say you would like to arrange this between yourself before going to mediation which is the next step
hoping you don’t need to go as far as going mediation but if she refuses than then sadly the only real way forward for a definite contact order is court this is a very last resort ,

in regards to nursery fee’s as your ex is single and working full time she maybe entitled to working/child tax credits that pay nearly 80% of the childcare cost , as you said you are already paying maintenances is this via a bank transfer or something that it can be traced back to say what it is and who it was paid to , reason for this is you don’t want it coming back that you have not supported your daughter etc
Hope your able to come up with a solution that doesn’t involve a legal battle

Mate that sounds like a carbon copy of my situation my ex would not let me be with my daughter on my own and she has never let any of my family meet her she still hasn't to this day it's as if they think their child is theirs and theirs only they forget it takes 2 to make a baby, I used to have to put up with her stupid demands just to see my daughter and sister.

Like eric said I'd edit out the personal info you've put in your message and your number as things can come back to haunt you.
I would try to speak to her but I think you may be fighting a losing battle and if you try mediation that will get her back up to so to will if you take her to court.

It's a no win situation if your the Father and you want to try and see your child as the Mother holds all the cards and they can do what they want and make your life a living [censored] in the process.

I'd think very carefully before you do decide to go down the court route as you may not see your child for a long time it is unbelievable stress and is harsh on the pocket to say the least.

Although fighting through the courts is a living [censored] at points I feel better knowing I am trying to be a part of my Girls life and I won't have to put up with all my ex's stupid demands, this site has been a great help as I'm self representing and it will be to you if you go down that route although it will be better if you can talk your ex around.

Good luck mate

Slim 🙂

Mate that sounds like a carbon copy of my situation my ex would not let me be with my daughter on my own and she has never let any of my family meet her she still hasn't to this day it's as if they think their child is theirs and theirs only they forget it takes 2 to make a baby, I used to have to put up with her stupid demands just to see my daughter and sister.

Like eric said I'd edit out the personal info you've put in your message and your number as things can come back to haunt you.
I would try to speak to her but I think you may be fighting a losing battle and if you try mediation that will get her back up to so to will if you take her to court.

It's a no win situation if your the Father and you want to try and see your child as the Mother holds all the cards and they can do what they want and make your life a living [censored] in the process.

I'd think very carefully before you do decide to go down the court route as you may not see your child for a long time it is unbelievable stress and is harsh on the pocket to say the least.

Although fighting through the courts is a living [censored] at points I feel better knowing I am trying to be a part of my Girls life and I won't have to put up with all my ex's stupid demands, this site has been a great help as I'm self representing and it will be to you if you go down that route although it will be better if you can talk your ex around.

Good luck mate

Slim 🙂

Mate that sounds like a carbon copy of my situation my ex would not let me be with my daughter on my own and she has never let any of my family meet her she still hasn't to this day it's as if they think their child is theirs and theirs only they forget it takes 2 to make a baby, I used to have to put up with her stupid demands just to see my daughter and sister.

Like eric said I'd edit out the personal info you've put in your message and your number as things can come back to haunt you.
I would try to speak to her but I think you may be fighting a losing battle and if you try mediation that will get her back up to so to will if you take her to court.

It's a no win situation if your the Father and you want to try and see your child as the Mother holds all the cards and they can do what they want and make your life a living [censored] in the process.

I'd think very carefully before you do decide to go down the court route as you may not see your child for a long time it is unbelievable stress and is harsh on the pocket to say the least.

Although fighting through the courts is a living [censored] at points I feel better knowing I am trying to be a part of my Girls life and I won't have to put up with all my ex's stupid demands, this site has been a great help as I'm self representing and it will be to you if you go down that route although it will be better if you can talk your ex around.

Good luck mate

Slim 🙂

Hi Ian and welcome

It's admirable that you are paying maintenance and half of the nursery fees when you don't have to. I think in the circumstances she should recognise how seriously you take your responsibilities as a father and allow you to develop a bond with your daughter.

There's no reason at all why she should be preventing you from having quality alone tome with your child, other than control.

I think a letter to her is an excellent first step, putting forth a schedule of regular and increasing contact, a timetable if you like. Start off by suggesting a couple of hours for a month or two, increasing to half a day for another couple of months, then a full day for the next two months and so on...by the time she is 2 you could have increased it to an overnight, you can then take her to meet her grandparents and other family as is her right.

Although you want more time with her and time with her exclusively, what's most important is her right to have a close and loving bond with you and for her to get to know all of her family, not just on her mothers side.

If this doesn't work then the next step is mediation, here's a link

www.nfm.org.uk

Funding is still available for mediation and you can check that here

www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

Best of luck