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Hello all,
is there a specific form we need to fill in to change child arrangements order.
My son won custody a year ago. I dug out the old section 7 reports etc and court order.
It said My son is responsible to ensure the chlld is taken to and collected from the mums.
At the time of the reports and hearing, my son was in a full time job and was financially able to do the train journey if necessary(even though we do it).
However, he now is part time due to the fact that he has his daughter full custody and fits things around her.
Do you know how we would go about getting this arrangement changed,
or moreso can we?
One of the reasons I ask is, there is always grief on drops off/pick ups. /for instance, yesterday we went to collect(It's school half term and holidays meant to be equally shared, although mum had her all week) We arrived, as stated at said time and Mum decided not to be in!! It's not the first time this has happened. The journey is 120 mile round trip. Now she is still there and we are back home after waiting hours. Mum text to say "we were out"..
I told her she has to now bring the child back, but she will not! we are stuck with no car and i am fuming!
what can we do . How do we go about changing the travelling etc as it's too stressful
this sounds as if it is a battle of wills of who does what, the only person that losses is the children..... To which I have had to take a back seat with regards to my children..
If your son has custody and not the mother ...; it is the mother that has to apply to court... your son could just do what a lot of other mums do and not co-operate
Hi smallnanny
I remember you were unhappy about this arrangement being in the order... you can apply for a variation using form C100, however your son will have to attempt mediation first unfortunately.
Not being home is not on! I would write to her and tell her this is not acceptable and she must ensure this doesn't happen again, otherwise you will be seeking legal advice and return to court.
All the best
it's not as simple as that! we could refuse to do the travel(which I really feel like doing ) but in the best interests of the child, she would suffer, I cannot do that.
But they cannot keep going against the court order doing as they like. and expect us to be at beck and call. She lost custody for neglect amongst other reasons. this needs to be addressed as the childs mind is being messed up all the time sadly 🙁
I just need to know how to go about it x
Thank you,
It's not right, My son has kept records of all issues,
The child never gets bathed or brushes teeth(this is minor to the mental torture to her)
But courts state 4pm pick up. We adhere to this but its always major issues and upset,
soon as home the child is fine, we have asked school for counselling as not normal.
Although Soc services not involved, I kind of wish there was someone on a neutral level to help if that makes sense. I have always been happy to do journey but they take advantage of everything x
I'm sorry it's stressful I know... if she is continually breaching the order your options are limited. You could force her hand by suspending contact, making it clear, in writing, the reasons why you have done so and suggesting mediation to try and resolve matters. She would either have to negotiate, or make an application for enforcement.
Alternatively, you could suspend contact and simultaneously submit an urgent application to vary the order, due to her continual breaches. An urgent application would cancel out the requirement to attempt mediation first. You would do this with form C100 and if you feel the child is neglected you should also submit a form C1a too.
it's so hard because the only real one suffering is the child sadly. but she can't keep doing as she pleases, It's a difficult situation 🙁
I could not deal with the upset on the child, but then she is going through mental torture as it it now tbh.
That's what bothers me more! can't post on here public.
Personally I would go with an urgent variation as Mojo suggests, or, an application to enforce the order if she is in breach.
Get your grand daughter home and then going for an urgent variation is your best bet, as if you are forced to suspend contact because of the mother's breaches, it will reflect well on your son and hopefully have a swift resolution in the child's best interests.
We have her home now, I had to go collect.
There are more issues. The child has told us that mummy been letting her go to shop and chip shop All by herself!
Thats is 3 blocks away! she is 7 yrs old!
...I think the best option you have is to suspend contact and apply for an urgent variation, I understand that you don't want to upset her, but as you said, she is already suffering.
Realistically, even if the court agrees to shared travel, you could still be faced with the same issue... if you dropped her off you would still be relying on the Mum to bring her back on time. The same if she came to pick her up, you would need to pick her up and she could then mess you about and not be there, as she is doing now.
Do you want to stop overnights completely? I'm not sure that's realistic either... I'm sorry this is so hard for you all.
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