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Full background to start off. Myself and the ex broke up 3 years a go, at the time our son was 4. We agreed between ourselves that a 50/50 split would be best and it worked on the basis of
Monday - me
Tuesday - me
Wednesday - ex
Thursday - ex
Friday - me
Saturday - ex
Sunday - me
Monday - ex
Tuesday - ex
Wednesday - me
Thursday - me
Friday - ex
Saturday - me
Sunday - ex.
And rotated round like this for two years, until I met my new girlfriend.
As soon as I the ex found out I was seeing someone I started getting abusize texts and she started messing about with the days I could see him.
In the end we went to mediation and no agreement was ever accomplished but the ex would not let me have him any Sunday. Giving herself one extra day. To try and avoid the stress on the little one I begrudgingly half accepted this, then me and the new girlfriend decided she would move in. Now access was cut completely and I wasn't allowed to see my son at all. So very quickly I took the ex to court and that was in January.
However at court I didn't take any legal representative and I felt quite backed into the wall by caffcass who were pushing for every other weekend and tea on a Wednesday. I seemed to end up pushing to get the Wednesday night as well when really I wanted it to go back to 50/50 not just every other Friday's and Saturday and every Wednesday.
So i feel like I've accepted something that is not good for me and not good for the little one (ironically the ex still drops him at my mams every morning to take him to school and my mam still picks him up every afternoon). The weekends I have the little one he is happy and happy on that Wednesday but I can tell the Wednesday after he has really missed me.
So id like to change it and I think it would be in the little ones best interest and id like to propose a system of
Mon - me
Tue - me
Wednesday - ex
Thursday - ex
Friday - ex
Saturday - me (I have to work a number of Saturday's so picking him up after work and having him Saturday and Sunday gives him maximum time with me)
Sunday - me.
Monday - ex
Tuesday - ex
Wednesday - me
Thursday - me
Friday, sat, sun - ex.
What are my chances of getting the court to agree to this and how would I go back to court to make the changes?
Thanks
Hi there
Are you still in the court process or did you get a final hearing and order?
The fact that you had shared care for so long, only for you to be marginalised because of your new relationship is just not good enough. The system is flawed, there are successes but as in your case the system has failed IMO.
If the case is over, you would have to wait a few months before applying for a variation of the existing order. If the case is ongoing, you can make an application for new directions within the existing case for shared care to be considered.
I'm with Mojo on this. Many mothers try to marginalise the father's presence in the child's life once a new relationship is brought into the equation. I find it shocking that CAFCASS would try to force this bog standard agreement when a shared care arrangement has been in place for such a long time. The fact that your ex is still using your mother to assist with childcare on a daily basis would go some way to illustrate to the court that your child copes well with regular contact with you and the paternal family.
Like Mojo said, if you're still in the process you can add this application to the existing proceedings using a form C2. If your order was final you can re apply in a few months time although you will have to attend mediation before making the application.
Good luck
It was a first and final hearing, I was blind sided by caffcass really.
When you say a few months, how long is the few months that I have to wait?
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