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HI All
I have a step son who now wants to go and live with his father which is fine by me and my wife his mother.
CHild currently sees his father every other weekend and now lives 30 mins away which he says is too far to see him in the week.
Discussed with the father if child could come and live with them however were told basically its not the right time, fathers new wife is not ready to take it on and dads work ask hm to fly off places lastminute.
If we tell the child its not practical to live with his dad, he is not stupid, he is 10 yrs old and knows very well what theis actually means.
Father could alter his work around the child, he has a child so he has that responsibility.
What do I do now. I can tell the child, but he might then not want contact at all which I totally understand.
How do we deal with this, without the courts having a go at us etc
You can't force the father to take residency or contact but the court would expect you both to support the child in having a relationship with his father. If the child refuses to see his father when the news is broken to him, I can't see it lasting long, can you?
Perhaps your wife and the father could consider attending mediation together to work out a way forward and support their son at this difficult time?
Can I ask what the reasons are for the child to want to live with his father? At 10 it really shouldn't be his decision to make and from what you say it appears that you have perhaps given him hope that this would be possible.
Like Yoda, I feel that his reaction at this news will be short lived and with lots of love and reassurance from you and his mum he should get over his disappointment quite quickly.
It might be worth trying to find out why the child wants to move away, is he unhappy at school, could there be bullying issues, or are there problems at home that have made him feel that way.... I think it would important to explore these questions too.
All the best
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