Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I am a newbie and would love to hear from anyone re advice/tips etc. I shall not mention names or location as I need to be careful as I am in Care Proceedings currently and do not want to jeopardise anything. It's a long story, but here goes...
My wife and I have two children; an almost-four-year-old girl and 14-month old boy. Our boy (I'll refer to as 'D') is not walking yet. A month or so ago wife and I noticed he'd lost interest in trying to stand. However, we put this down to the fact he'd only just had his last lot of vaccinations (MMR) and he was crawling around perfectly happily thus we were not concerned. But a few weeks ago D began holding his left-foot a bit, although he was not in pain or discomfort. We made a doctor's appointment but they could not get him in for several days. Therefore we phoned the Health Visitor, the 111 non-emergency number and then, finally, we decided to take him to our nearest hospital's A&E department to get him looked at.
They x-rayed his foot and said he had a very small "toddler fracture" which - we were told - are quite common, usually go unnoticed and heal by themselves. They are common for babies learning to walk. The hospital asked if they could do more x-rays to watch we agreed. They came back telling us he had something similar on his right leg and what they *think* could be cracks to two of his ribs. My wife and I were shocked as D had been happy, crawling as usual and displayed no signs of pain or discomfort and we had seen no sign of bruises or swelling either.
Hospital asked if D had had any falls. He had - he fell down our stairs in October. They asked me what happened and then my wife before coming to the conclusion that our accounts had "inconsistencies". They then asked us to bring our daughter in to be examined to which we agreed - she was found to be fine.
Next thing we know is the hospital had contacted Social Services and the Police. We were both arrested for Child Neglect. Neither of us have ever been arrested or in trouble with the law before, we both have good, respectable jobs and we were the ones who had brought him in to be looked at. We were interviewed separately and released - not on bail - but pending further enquiries. The Police searched our home and took our mobile phones and laptops.
We explained about D's fall down the stairs and informed them that he goes to two different childminders for a total of three days every week. He is the smallest baby at both of these and the only non-walker.
As things stand now, we are in Care Proceedings and Social Services waded in heavy-handed suggesting foster care for our children. This caused us a terrific amount of distress and upset. In the end it was decided our children could stay with family in the same town whilst the Care Proceedings are carried out.
There are four of us in the 'pool or perpetrators'; my wife and I and the two childminders. The Police have still not spoken to the two childminders some six weeks after this saga began.
No one has seen any signs of injuries in D - he has been perfectly happy, not crying like he was hurt and there's been no external signs of injuries. We take him to loads of play groups, soft play, role play events etc and several leaders of them have written us character references to back up what we have said - i.e. we had no way of knowing about injuries.
We feel that we are being treated disgracefully by SS and the hospital. We asked the hospital for names of two paediatricians who stated that they felt D's injuries were not suspicious but the main consultant refused point blank to give us their names. We have asked our solicitors to obtain these details but so far they have failed too. And SS have displayed an astonishing amount of incompetence throughout by getting details wrong constantly and one serious breach of data protection.
The hospital have provided us with two reports on D both of which contain the wrong dates for D's x-rays. We are seriously wondering what else they have got wrong and how serious the injuries can have been, especially as we have seen no sign of any problems. They did not put him in casts and treated him with just Calpol.
Has anyone ever heard of anything like this before? We are utterly at our wit's end. Any advice please? Thank you.
Hi there
I’m so sorry to hear this, I have heard of similar cases to yours, but not as much on this forum. Once Social Services have a certain mindset they can seem intransigent to other possibilities.
I would have a look on the Family Rights Group website, they have a helpline and may be able to advise you, heres a link
www.frg.org.uk
You’re going to have to be strong and fight your corner, as you both have good jobs, I’m assuming your joint income means that you wouldn’t be entitled to legal aid. Legal aid is available to respondents in this area of family law, but as I said, it’s probably means tested.
I wish I could be more helpful, but the knowledge I have is in respect of private family law, my experience with care proceedings is very limited unfortunately.
Best of luck
Thanks. Everyone is perplexed as *nobody* has ever seen anything other than a bright, happy, little boy. Apart from a reluctance to stand for a couple of weeks - which we attributed to him being a bit out of sorts following his MMR vaccinations - he has been crawling around happily as normal. Even the childminders were shocked as they have never had cause for concern. We have a tonne of character references from friends and play group leaders all verifying they never had any reason for concerns either. The hospital refer to "serious injuries" yet if they were that serious why have we not seen any marks, bruises, swelling, crying etc? It just doesn't make any sense.
We do qualify for Legal Aid which is a good thing and I will check out that website.
Thank you.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.