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I wanted to know if my ex can dictate to me what i do when the children are with me. I have them every other weekend with no problems. The moment i say will be taking them away to see family (500 mile round trip) she starts with all the rubbish about not allowing me to go and she will stop contact!! Is this allowed and what can i do about it?
Thanks
Hi there,
I dont believe she can dictate to you what you do with your children whilst they are on a contact visit with you. do you have a Contact Order or is the contact an informal arrangement?
It is an informal contact arrangement. There is never an issue normally. I get them Friday to Sunday without any hassle or interference. The moment I say I am going to seefamily for the weekend then she tries to say I'm not allowed!! Makes No sense to me!! I wanted to know if she could dictate where I go and if I do take them without telling her, is there anything she can do? They won't be in any danger and they look forward to going
As the agreement is an informal one and she is the resident parent, she can easily follow through with her threats to deny you access...some mothers that are under a defined Contact Order will try to impose their own rules and regulations, even if this is in contempt of the order.
You could call her bluff and take the children to visit family regardless, as long as they are delivered back at the allotted time....
You could try reasoning with her, and if agreement cant be reached take it to mediation....or if no agreement can be reached you can apply to the court for a Contact Order, with the right to use the periods of contact to allow your children to enjoy continuing contact and bonding with their larger family circle, which can only be beneficial to the childrens quality of life.
Its a tough call! If your weekends have all passed without issue then there is a chance that you might be able to get her agreement if you keep at it. Good luck!
Hi There,
I agree with NJ,
I went to court to stop axactly this, my ex wanted to know in advance everything we were going to be doing whilst I had my son, If I didn't give her notice by text before collection I would be threatened with no contact, when I did call her bluff she did just that she went out so as not to be home when I arrived to collect. After the second time she did this I went to court for a defined ccontact order (no different from a normal contact order but carries with it what can and can't happen) we now get to do as we wish with the only exception that my son must have his mobile with him if we travel more than an hour in the car.
As NJ say's try to talk it through first then if you get no where, try mediation and then keep court as the final option if not able to resolve.
Darren
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