[Solved] Can my ex take a child back if social think shes..

Hi there

I think you are in a very uncertain situation as it stands, but in my opinion you can act to put some security in place for you and your child.

The fact that there have been multiple incidences where your child has been placed with you for her own safety, will go in your favour, especially this latest episode where your daughter is expected to be with you for 6-12 months. That sets a precedent and your daughter will be settled with you, so it's totally unacceptable to keep uprooting her and disrupting her life by moving her between you both. She needs stability, consistency and security, I don't know how old she is, but being settled is essential when it comes time to sit her SATs and other exams.

Its not in your child's best interests to have such a long way to travel back and forth to school. I agree that it's important that you place her in a local school and register her with your local GP. I would also make an application to court for your daughter to live with you and a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent her from being removed from your care.

Usually you would need to attempt mediation before making a court application, but as there are serious safeguarding issues, this can be waived. I would also advise that you make the application "ex parte" which means that the mother won't be notified of the hearing until after an interim decision is made and the court has ordered that your daughter lives with you until the matter can be looked into further. I believe you have enough for the court to grant your application in the first instance.

You will need form C100 to make the application, and as you are unemployed at the moment, you can also apply for an exemption from the usual court fee of £215, to do that you will need form EX160a. It would also be advisable to submit supplementary form C1a with the other forms, to tell the court about the risks your child faces should she be returned.

It might also be helpful for you to attend a Families Need Fathers meeting in your area, where you will get face to face advice and support from others in a similar situation. Here's a link to their website where you'll find details of meetings nationally.

www.fnf.org.uk/helpand-support-2/local-branch-meetings

Unfortunately, legal aid for private family law cases is no longer available, but the mother will also be in the same situation, so that levels the playing field somewhat. We will also do all we can to advise and support you.

Best of luck

Apologies for the delay in responding, I can understand why you reposted with your concerns, but I'm going to delete your earlier duplicate post, it can be confusing for forum users if there are two identical threads running simultaneously. 🙂

Thanks for your swift reply Mojo, and I do apologise for the post in the welcome forum it wasn't until I realised I'd put it in the wrong place that it was too late to delete it.

Thanks for all the info, she's 5 sorry for not adding that in there, the next meeting id being classed as a CIN meeting and is being held by the social worker.
The social worker did say in the last meeting he thought it would be detrimental to my daughter is she moved in with me and changed schools all at the same time and wants to me wait until the end of term am I under such conditions that it wouldn't be wise for me to go along and ignor his views? He did say to me in private it would be looking more long term and I could change her schools then offered assistance in travel costs to her current school, I don't know if he's just humouring me or if he's genuine and I can't continue doubting him for my own sanity.

I'll start to get on the case with all the forms that you've referred too and plan on looking on the FNF website to find a meeting.

I'll try keep this three upto date as I go along if that's ok? And I really appreciate the time it's took to respond. Hopefully I'll get this worry out of my head eventually and have some stability for my daughter .

Many thanks
🙂

I think you can be open and honest with the SW, rather than keep your concerns to yourself and worry over them. There are more reasons to get the school move done sooner rather than later in my opinion, it's up to you to put your arguement together and discuss it more fully with them, maybe at the next meeting.

By the sound of it you're getting mixed messages, so it's hardly any wonder that you're struggling to know what to do for the best. I would put it to the SW that the advantages of moving school outweigh any disadvantages.

Plus I feel that as the school year has only just started, the move would be easier sooner rather than later, before she develops bonds with her peers and begins to lay down roots. Children of that age are much more resilient than We give them credit for, if your daughter appears happy, is eating and sleeping well and shows no signs of anxiety I don't see how a school move would be all that detrimental to her

It would also be valid to point out that the sooner you both get back to a normal routine the better, part of that is to get your daughter settled so that you can concentrate on looking for new employment, being thoughtful to the new constraints placed on you by single parenthood. Perhaps you might like to think,about some form of retraining.

Also the long distances she must travel to and from school aren't what's best for her, school activities , or after school events with her classmates are prohibitive because of the distances, she can't just go for tea and play with a friend, whereas if she went to school locally this wouldn't be a problem.

You are best placed to know how well your daughter has handled the changes so far and what is best for her, I think you need to put your position a little more firmly, whilst reassuring them that your daughters well being is paramount.

I hope I have given you some tangible reasons that you can use to strengthen your case, I'm sure if you think about it there will be more!

All the best

Hey guys,
I thought I would give you an update on what’s happened so far, the matter in itself has been consuming me with worry!

I’ve finally got my daughters schools changed and drs and the child benifit, I was up front with the social workers who were ok but holted the school moves until after Christmas as they didn’t think it would be fair on my daughter all these things happening at once.
I haven’t got the ball rolling with the courts yet as I got myself into such a panic about the costs and the stress of doing it alone.
We’re now at a stage where the SC have took my daughter off there register as she’s deemed to be safe with me.
I’ve spoken to them recently and asked them where I stand and they basically have said that now my daughter is out of the system her mother has as many rights as me which is worrying.
Speaking to the SC they told me that the child’s contact with her mother is now down to me although they said they would refrain from letting her stay over tonight and with the mothers current mental health and if the child was to go back and live with her she would automatically go back on the register.

Have any of you guys gone through the court process yourself, how hard is it if I’m prepared with lots of evidence?

I’m worrying that when I do allow my daughter to have contact once a week that on an evening she won’t answer her door and return her, where do I stand with this? And can she make an application to change her schools back without my permission?

I’ve been reading about child arrangement orders and the Social worker said that would be my best bet?

I know you said she wouldn’t be entitled to legal aid but I’ve read conflicting stuff online saying she would?

Sorry for the delayed response but as you can imagine Christmas etc it’s been pretty hectic.
The child in question is nearly 6 just to answer a question a while back.

I hope to hear off you guys soon and I hope you’ve all had a good Christmas and new year

🙂

A child arrangement order is what the courts now issue - it replaces residence orders and contact orders, but basically still states where a child lives and what the contact arrangements are. As your daughter is living with you, I can't see that your ex could claim legal aid, and there is no domestic violence involved in any case. My personal opinion is that if you are concerned that your ex won't return your daughter, then you should go for a child arrangement order, or at least an interim order and withhold contact until then - once you have the order, if she doesn't return your daughter, then you can get the police to assist as you have an order to prove that your daughter resides with you. All of this could be supported by a report or letter from Childrens Services.

Hopefully others will add more detailed legal advice on here.

Thanks for the reply ACTD,
Is a report from the social something like the minutes from the fsp & Child in need meetings or is this something more specific that I would have to ask them for? Last time I spoke to them a few days ago they said that all arrangements would have to be discussed between me & my ex. Because the child is with me the child in question is not under any watch list anymore. There is another child involved and they are with their father too and we are working in cooperation so anything done will be done 2 fold and hopefully it will give it more clout.

I’ll be greatful if anyone else could give me any more clarity on the legal side too 🙂

I don't get the feeling that there is a strong disagreement between the two of you about child arrangements right now. You seem to be worried about uncertainty of the future.

There is a no order principle that I have heard judges follow. Which means they would not make any orders until it becomes evident the parties can't agree between each other.

I was in this situation at the beginning but I soon learned when it comes child arrangements, nothing ever is set in stone, unlike financial arrangements. Even court orders can be varied depending on circumstances.

My solicitor advised since we were in agreement we could sign some kind of child arrangement agreement between ourselves, witnessed by both solicitors.although not legally binding, this is potentially cheaper, cooperative and something you can refer to in court if you have disagreements in the future.

If there is still some disagreements but you feel you guys can compromise, mediation is also an option. Courts insist you do mediation first in most cases any way before litigation.

She’s proposing meetings between us because she’s not happy with the current situation and where the child is living and going to school so I’d say that she’s pretty against the idea. I don’t want to be put in a posistion where I feel I can drop my child off there for the day without running the risk of her not returning her. The mother lives about 40 miles away now as she moved when the child came to live with me about 9 months ago so obviously there would be no chance of her being able to get the child is question to the school she not attends either

If you agree on some fundemental cardinal points, then you might have a chance to come up with an agreement outside the court.
Do you both agree that the child lives with you and she will have contact with the child?
If so
Try talking between yourselves if you are amicable, or mediation or solicitors to thash out the details of the arrangement such as
schedule and level of contact, and drop off points, expenses, etc.

You could get all that in writing and get it signed by solicitors/witnesses/mediators.

I think this is going to be as good as it gets.

The alternative is court orders and litigation, but that in reality it is not going to give you much (if any) more certainty.
Courts don't really enforce orders very effectively.

I don’t think she’s gonna agree to the points to be honest, even if it’s about stability for the child. Yeah we both have pr I’ve made an app with the solicitor on Thursday for some advice just an hours appointment, hopefully they’ll have a rough idea of where i stand if mediation fails