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Hello,
I've read through the very helpful posts here but can't find the answer to my situation so am hoping someone can assist or just provide a smidgen of advice.
Quick (ish) background:-
My ex partner left the family home one morning whilst I was out in mid Feb and collected my 4 year old son early from nursery. They are now living at her mother's house and she is insisting that he can only see me at a contact centre (with a supported visit). She is claiming I controlled her, verbal abuse, she is not safe around me etc - I have never touched her or my son and never would and she controlled all the money and decisions relating to almost everything.
On the day she left, I was on my way to collect my son and saw her and her mother driving back from the nursery, I quickly turned the car around and went to her mother's house. I made no physical contact with anyone there but called 999, 3 times as I was concerned for my son as he was very distressed and they were pulling him away from behind the locked front door - I was holding his hand through the letterbox as he screamed to be let out. I stayed there outside the house for a couple of hours but the police didn't turn up until midnight - long after the lad had calmed down and gone to sleep.
10 days after the event, I received an email stating "Given the heightened emotions at the time my Mother chose not to pursue an assault complaint against you. However if you continue the campaign of harassment the police will be in touch. (Please find attached a photograph of the injuries sustained to her arm)"
The attached picture shows her mother's arm with what looks like a small bruise - very faint. She also copied the email to my mother, father and brother - all of which have had nothing to do and had no knowledge of this situation and live some distance away.
I have since spoken twice to the policeman who attended that night - he said that if there had been any suggestion by the mother or my ex that there was any violence, the police would have visited me to discuss it - which they haven't.
So I had to call my 76 year old mother - whom it distressed a lot, my 78 year old father who was upset and my brother to tell them to ignore the email my ex had sent them and explain what had happened.
I sent her an email asking her to cease and desist her accusations of physical abuse against her mother a few days later.
She has just sent me another email stating that I physically abused (and verbally) her and that's why she can't work for me anymore (i run a small ltd company - just me and her) so she's obviously not giving up on this line of attack. She's now threatening me with employment tribunal.
I wanted to ignore this, be a man and take it - but she has upset my family and doesn't seem to be stopping. I really feel that the only way to get her to stop this line of attack is to commence libel proceedings and ask her to stop these false allegations and send a retraction to everyone involved.
Would the fact that she sent copies of false allegations of physical abuse against her mother to my family enable me to commence (or at least threaten to commence) libel action against her?
Any and all comments gratefully received!
Hello Cheltenhamdad,
I totally understand how upsetting this situation is for you and your family. As my user name indicates, I am the Mother of a Father who experienced false accusations levelled at him of which some included other family members, none more so than me. Initially we were in a state of shock that the Mother of his children was behaving in such an appalling manner having no justifiable cause whatsoever to do so. We entered a world we didn't know existed and one that was totally alien to how we function and behave.
The things that were being said and done by this woman made me personally think, "lawful action has to be taken to stop this behaviour," how wrong I was! Professional people I spoke to in pursuing this line of thought all said, "do not take action, your Son needs to get access to his children and it will make achieving this more complicated." I now know they were right as getting access to the children was the prime aim at that particular time. My ignorance of the situation in which we were placed as a family led me to believe there was justice and decency if anyone who acted so disgracefully as the Mother was doing, would and could be held liable for there actions. Not so, taking action I now believe would have agitated the situation considerably and made matters far worse.
I am inclined to say to you what the professionals said to me, concentrate solely on getting access to your child. This is more important than anything. Your little boy needs you and you need him.
The hurt and disgust I have for the Mother of my grandchildren is still with me and I do not think it will ever go, however, it lays dormant in my mind. My priority is the welfare of my grandchildren, to love them, watch them flourish, feel secure, have fun and hear them laugh which I do regularly.
Please note it is my personal opinion I express based on my experiences and feelings within my family which appear similar to those you have portrayed in yours.
Hi
I agree with MOAF, I would begin court proceedings asap - you will have to attempt mediation first to get the forms signed off, but your priority has to be your little boy and not having months go by without any contact.
As tough as it seems, set these issues to one side and focus on your son. The mother is likely to raise these issues in court and the process isn't a fast one. You could end up with little or no contact until the case comes to court.
I don't doubt her accusations have caused distress to your family but the courts will be more interested in the welfare of your child. If you start trying to force legal proceedings against the mother, it could make you look like you're more interested in scoring points than having contact with your child.
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