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My ex has now decided that on the days when I collect the children from her, which is only once every two weeks on a saturday, that I must arrange a '3rd party' to collect the children from her.
There is no 3rd party I can use, I do not have friends or family that are able to do this (as she well knows).
In any case it is just being done to make my life difficult, clearly not in the children's interests, they expect to be collected by me. I have offered to stay in my car and not go to her front door, she could bring the kids to the car or to meet her in public place like Tesco car park. Infact, when I drop the kids back to her she has been asking to meet in Tesco's which has worked ok.
My solicitor has advised me to turn up at her house as usual and if she does not release the children then she is breaking the court order. Just wanted a 2nd opinion on here really as well? She would no doubt make up some lies about the reasons she is doing this is to protect her children, which is nonsense, all I want to do is turn up , collect my children and leave, the only time there has ever been an arguement is when I have turned up and she hasnt let me have them!
Hi There,
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I agree with your solicitor that you should just turn up and collect your children and if she doesn't allow them to come she is in breach of the order which would mean that you would have to apply to the courts for an enforcement order.
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What I would say is be very careful about turning up as there is a chance that she could make claims that you have harrassed her while you are there, I would try and record the attempt to collect your children, I woud start the recording in your car on your phone, you could use video or just voice record, keep the phone in your hand so that it will pick up everything that is said.
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If she doesn't allow them to come you need to calmly say ok, and ask her for the reason and then just walk away, go back to your car and stop the recording. although the recording may not be allowed to be used in court if you end up there it would help if she calls the police and makes false claims.
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GTTS
Hi there
If this problem continues you might like to think about applying for a specific issue order, but you would need to attempt mediation first. Do you think a stern letter from your solicitor might make her stop?
If your children are school age you might like to think about applying for a variation of the order, to get the contact time increased from Friday after school, dropping them back off on Monday morning, that would avoid the need to call at the house entirely. If you put it to her that that is what you're planning to do if she carries on, it might make her think twice.
All the best
Thanks for advice. Not the first time she has done this, usually it's just threats that don't get carried through.
I did get my solicitor to contact her solicitor, but whether it reached her or not I don't know, she says she is no longer using her solicitor.
I did actually speak to someone at the court today on the phone and she said to email the court with details of what is happening, I'm not sure what sort of response I will get from the court but might as well see what they come back with?
She also said that if I do apply to the court to vary the order, I should write a covering letter explaining why I don't feel mediation would work and that should be fine considering we have already tried it and ended up in court.
If the court order was quite recent, the judge has discretionary powers to bring it back to court under the original case.
The court office you're dealing with sound really helpful, it's a pity they're not all like that!
All the best
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